Welcome to Laura's Blog, facilitated by her friends and family. We invite you to continue to honor Laura's life and her impact on you by posting stories, memories and messages for Judy and our community. [Scroll down to the end for directions on posting messages]

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Personal Notes to Laura: August - October 2005

Visit this section to view personal notes and expressions to Laura made from August 2005 through October 2005.


Anonymous Signy Wilson said...


I haven't met you yet, and still you have had a big impact on my life. Did I say big? Huge. Huge is more like it.

And I mention this by way of you HEARING about your impact. I mean I get that you know, at some level, but each time we hear, each time we are reminded, as we all know, we are called forth to a greater place. That is the greater place I want for you and know you will be living in as you move forward.

And so I want to tell you about the impact you have had on me. I am a new facilitator with CTI. I am totally excited and alive about it. In your founding CTI, creating this work and taking a stand in the world for a bigger vision, you made my life totally bigger, richer, fuller. And you created an avenue for me to express my love in the world. Your ripple out is absolutely MASSIVE.

A second, more personal impact is that after I had taken the CCC, I knew that wanted to lead this work. So I knew I was going to take leadership. What I didn't know is that my leadership journey would correspond to my cancer journey. I was out of surgery 12 days before I was down to SF for retreat 1. The ropes course was a place where I hugely healed with my body (Sex type that I am, that was crutial), learning to trust it again. Retreat 2 - chemotherapy, learning to ask for help (creating from others). Retreat 3 - radiation. And Retreat 4 - when I was trying to integrate emotionally all that had happened physically for the past year. Without knowing you were doing it, you (and Rick and Elaine and the Corals) were my bedrock. You gave me a touchstone, and hope. If there is anyway I can do anything to return that to you, all you need to do is ask. I am here in body, heart, mind and spirit for you.

As you travel on this next stage of your journey, know that your circle is wide, very wide, and we are all here with loving, open arms.

My prayers for you will be fierce, loving and relentless.

Love to you, sweet angel,


Wednesday, August 24, 2005 12:31:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura, not sure where you are right now but want you to know that I am thinking of and praying for you fiercely....Lots of love, Susan V.

Thursday, August 25, 2005 7:20:00 PM

Anonymous Mary Ann Bopp said...

Laura, I'm a 7-year breast cancer survivor and share your pain. Every year when I go for annual scans and tests, it brings back to the surface all the "old" feelings I'm sure you are now going through. Never never give up hope. And it appears you are following that advice. Life is precious and we often forget that by getting caught up in the small stuff. But you're the real hero and what you're doing is the big stuff. Best of luck. We're praying and pulling for you.

Friday, August 26, 2005 4:09:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, all my positive energy is pointed your way...know that you have made your mark on this world of human beings and that you are always in the hearts and minds of so many. Glenda Daggert

Friday, August 26, 2005 5:42:00 AM

Blogger Sharon...Lady of Dignity and Grace said...

Laura, thanks for inviting us to hold you in our thoughts and prayers in whatever way feels right to us. I serve a risen Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that His will be done in your life and that His will includes your complete healing from cancer. You have been such an important influence in the world so far and the possibility that you will continue to make a difference in the world is a must. I know it would bring joy to Him to have your healing testimony as an example for the furtherance of His kingdom. Here are some scriptures that I pray are sources of strength for you. Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:16 and Isaiah 53:5.

Friday, August 26, 2005 8:48:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura - You are always in my thoughts and I will continue, each day, to source positive and healing energy your way. I think back to our Earthquake retreat and see your deep blue penetrating eyes that are bright, dancing, and so full of life...keep dancing!! You are an amazing soul!! Live Strong and Live Well
I love you...Susan

Friday, August 26, 2005 12:01:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, my dear friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time of challenge. As always, you are an inspiration. My favorite writings are by people who have been in extremity, and who share with others what they learn when the world sqeezes in upon them leaving room only for what matters. You have lived toward what matters, and have a gift for helping people to stay focused there. I marvel at how you continue to do this even in your time of extremity. May you receive the blessings you so richly deserve, and feel the peace that you have devoted years helping others to feel...
- Jim Ferrell

Friday, August 26, 2005 2:55:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura:

Sorry to hear this news. But I know that you're very strong even facing such an incredible challenge. When I met you in Las Vegas in January, I knew what might happen to you, as I was a cancel patient a few years ago. I experienced the time that all my hair lost and depression that I might no be able to see 2008 Olympic game in Beijing. Compare to you, it's only a small challenge, as it took only about 6 months for me to fully recover, and no sign for any travel. I know the feeling as a cancel patient. But I was very impressed by your attitude, your energy and your liveliness during the T3 class.

I'm also so very much impressed by the Co-Active Coaching and Co-Active Leadership. It really changes me. I can feel the changes in my heart and in my behavior. Will continue to move towards that direction to become more valuable to my people.

It seems that it's so unfair, that more people hope to have your coach and help, while you have to leave. Do remember, wherever you are, and how you are, we are remembering you and praying for you.

Finally, wish all the best for you, and be strong to fight, never be defeated. Life is beautiful and stay alive is a great success. Take care.

Best Regards,

Li Jie
IBM Tower, Pacific Century Place
Beijing 100027, People's Republic of China

Saturday, August 27, 2005 9:47:00 AM

Blogger C.J. Hayden said...

Laura, my friend, I am praying for you, sending you white light, and picturing you strong, well, and laughing. You are tough and resourceful, and have thrived through difficulty and chaos many times before. If there is anyone in the world who can beat the odds, it is you.


Sunday, August 28, 2005 4:33:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

As I read the cancer has moved to the liver, my thoughts were of my father. The journey of his illness and death has brought me here to you in more ways than I can count. My biggest and deepest gift from my father was not to take a moment for granted. It truly is the small things in life that give us life. It is the quiet moment I spend with a friend. Making dinner with my mother. Sitting on the porch with my dog. Noticing the colour of the sky at sunset. The shape and texture of the clouds. The way someone looks at you. The way someone feels. It's remarkable how it's the small and quiet moments that shape memories.

I feel blessed to know that at my age. I feel blessed to be with you. I can see your blue eyes and I am smiling right now. I can hear your voice in my thoughts...what is like to be over there with them for the sake of them? What if it was all that simple?

Thinking of you...holding you in my heart.

Monday, August 29, 2005 8:42:00 AM

Anonymous Hope Langner said...

Dear Laura,

Today and every day, I'm sending you lots of white light, healing energy and much love.

Love, Hope

Monday, August 29, 2005 12:14:00 PM

Anonymous Linda J. Taylor said...

Hey Laura and Judy

With being in Vancouver, how could I not come back to San Francisco and spend some time 'living well' with you. Its just a stepping stone away.

We will bring photos and music. See you in September....



Tuesday, August 30, 2005 8:07:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, Loving you and sending circles of healing energy directly to you....you are surrounded and will be forever. Love, Tom and Peg

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 1:08:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

You are so vital especially now as you say YES, YES, YES to every moment as it unfolds, sometimes joyously & sometimes difficult to bear. I am inspired by your courage, honesty, intelligence, appreciation & love for the life you have been given.
Now you take nothing for granted! Congratulations!

Robert L.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:00:00 PM

Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Dear Laura and Judy:

As you head to Brazil, I am sourcing healing, peace and miracles for you both. I notice that we were all supposed to be in ceremony this week and the universe had other plans. I am standng in your sacred circle, loving and praying for you both.

Judy, call when you can.

Love Lora

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:50:00 PM

Anonymous Sam House said...


I'm just god-damned bummed to hear of the latest development of your journey with cancer.

I want to be helpful. While I'm sure you're doing all of the classic medical and alternative approaches to your treatment, I want to know if you know about Ambrotose, a nutriceutical product from Mannatech. This, more than anything, including my father's indomitable faith in a higher power, prolonged his life by 6 years, when he was given only about 6 months to live, baffling the doctors regularly.

Here is the Mannatech USA website: http://www.mannatech.com/default.asp?CountryCodeID=1&UN=shopnow&sMainMenu=Home&sMain2Menu=na&sSubMenu=na&sSubMenuItem=na&sSubMenu2Item=na&sSubMenu3Item=na

Within this website, there is a link to 'Wellness Management'. Here's the direct link: Ambrotose Complex: http://www.mannapages.com/sharethegift/PRDAmbrotose.asp?sMainMenu=ShopNow&sMain2Menu=Products&sSubMenu=Products&sSubMenuItem=WellnessManagement&sSubMenu2Item=PRDAmbrotose.asp&sSubMenu3Item=na&UN=shopnow

Perhaps you know all about Mannatech. If so, ignore this. Otherwise, please please read: Mannatech is a company that makes nutriceuticals. They are not just vitamins; they are supplements that are created with the highest scientific standards. Their benefits can be huge. Because they're not pharmaceuticals, the FDA doesn't like them. As a result of FDA regulations and state and US law, no nutritional or nutriceutical company can make any claims of a curative nature. If they did, they would be accused of trying to market pharmaceuticals without the necessary approval. The drug companies want to dominate the health market with manufactured pharmaceuticals. They are very threatened by other chemical--but using natural ingredients--approaches, like nutriceutical companies that absolutely have a curative function.

Now, while I know that you know what follows, it bears repeating. Another difference: pharmaceuticals are essentially drugs designed to relieve or eliminate specific symptoms. In a wholistic system, like your body, simply fixing the symptom is not the only nor necessarily the best way to go. Neutriceuticals engage the whole system so that the body itself can work to heal the necessary problems. Finally, neutriceuticals can be taken with any regular medications.

My dad--who lived 6 years longer than anyone thought was possible--did so because of his use of Ambrotose, a product of Mannatech. While I believe that his profound faith and strong relationship with God did much to support his longevity, I am confident that Ambrotose deserves a huge amount of credit.

He was convinced to try it (he'd been highly skeptical for months, while going rapidly down hill physically), when a friend of his with a heart condition had a stroke. He was in a semi-comatose state, on an IV, and the doctors had told the family that there was little else they could do and so they should call in the family to say 'good bye'. His wife, in a moment of great courage and secrecy, decided to give Ambrotose a try. She felt she had nothing to lose. And so, she took the Ambrotose (it comes in powder or capsule form), added the powder to water to create a mixture, and found some way to insert the mixture into her husband's IV.

In just a day or two, he regained consciousness, then re-gained his health and was much more active than he had been for years prior to his stroke. This man was a good friend of my dad's and he couldn't believe the difference in his friend, from when he saw him sometime shortly before his stroke, to after his stroke. My dad then started taking Ambrotose and the rest is history.

As I mentioned to you before, because Ambrotose is a nutriceutical, it works on the WHOLE body, not just a symptom-affected area. In un-scientific terms....bio-chemically, what it does is enhance the body's ability to communicate--and thus create healing--at the cellular level, through making the amino acids have a much more effective level of passing information from cell to cell. The body, with all of its amino acids working effectively, instead of just a small percentage of them working (which is what occurs in a typical American human body), is able to then really engage in the healing process more effectively.

And so, dear Laura, I send you tons of love, 5 trillion power of white light for healing, and a strong request that, if you are not now using Ambrotose, start now. My dad took something like 5 or more times the recommended dosage, with no ill effects, but I suggest you start moderately to begin with. I'd love it if you or someone who's in your corner, let me know what's happening on this front.

I love you, admire you, cherish you, and hold you as one of the brightest lights in my life. I've learned more from you than just about anyone else I've ever known.



Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:12:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura Laura Laura - -

So many thoughts and feelings.A collage of images and emotions, in no particular order. Cascading...If anyone can find a whole new way to deal with "traveling" cancer, it's YOU! How perfect that you and Judy are traveling to find ways to deal iwth the traveling cancer within. I love that, once again, you refuse to be boxed in by well-established structures and prognoses. If they don't fit your dreams and needs, you go off to find a different way that is truer to you and to what you want from life...Showing all of us a different way of being, doing and going down a path that every one in three of us will experience. I am touched by your tough brilliant spirit even as you are vulnerable and unknowing about what you will meet up with next, even as you deal with the tough, unwelcome challenges of the cancer within.

My life is forever different, richer, juicier, changed because of you. I was not supposed to be a Dreamtime, and am eternally grateful that the Universe unfolded as perfectly as it did for me with my Leadership leaders...I got to see first hand how you have changed lives, opened souls, freed spirits, revealed the truths you see, admitted to failure and then kept on creating from nothing abnd everything, been brilliant without knowing it, showed us that intimacy can be found by letting others "into-me-see ", moved mountains with a simple but piercing question or challenge, demanded that our "wanters" be resurrected, been frustrated with our willingness at times to accept what "is" rather than choose the glorious stuff that can be if we dare to want it,laughed loudly, been dangerous, bold, stubborn, sexy, kitten-ish, ferocious, loving, tough, courageous, tender, irritating, insightful, one-of-a-kind, inspiring us by your demands of yourself, us and life.

As I read your words about metastasized cancer and think "oh, shit!", I'm also struck by waves of gratitude, love and healing for you. I'm so grateful to you and to the universe that has given, and keeps on giving,you to us. I'm grateful that you have opened yourself and your journey up to us. We're walking with you in spirit, fervently supporting and loving you and Judy as you continue your love story and life story together. We will keep seeing and holding you with love and health, and will keep seeing your inner fire burning strong as you quest for the cure. I am holding you tenderly, Laura, seeing you lean in,living the hell out of each moment, and drinking every drop that life offers - -Love, Heather ( Diddel)

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 7:45:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey gorgeous :)...just got your message from andy denne...i am sending my presence to you and around you, sending my energy to propel you in your utter committment to live well and live strong...no room for doubt laura....i am here with you as you were for me during leadership...my committment to your journey now is as yours was for mine...solid, loving, fierce and tender...know that i am here and call on me for whatever you need...just see my face into front of you at the mother tree...and send it on!!!!

Thursday, September 01, 2005 3:41:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear laura,
as you and judy are soon off to Brazil, i wish you both lottsa love & light on your pilgrimage of inner and outer healing.

i'm posting this reflection from Irma Bombeck not for you, but bloggers of life...

by Irma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance
in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. more "I'm sorry's"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

Thursday, September 01, 2005 11:06:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Well Laura, so soon you will be on the road, and venturing ("adventuring?") into unknown territory. So many times a week I find myself thinking of you (and this is nothing new, nothing to do with the cancer coming back)! Sometimes it is as simple as hearing your voice in my voice as I coach a client. Many times I have wanted to hear the full story behind the bigger game model... I have to believe it's fascinating. And sometimes it's as I play my Bigger Game, and something about the model clicks for me, and sheds new light... And sometimes, I just wonder why, for what purpose? What is "He" or "She" or "life" trying to teach us now?

I think I have shared this with you, and I'll share it again here

Thursday, September 01, 2005 8:03:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Well, that was a premature submission!! Here is the "right brain vision" of my life from Balance class. I also wrote it 5 weeks after Dan was diagnosed with Stage 4 leukemia. I share it with you, because your spirit is throughout this poem. Because we are kindred spirits, on a shared journey, in so many ways...

If my life were a poem... it would be...
Life Calling

My life is a journey, destination unknown.
My path is revealed only as far as I can see,
Yet more often than not, I choose its direction.

I navigate my path thoughtfully,
with deliberate choices grounded in values
and guided by intuition.
Even when faced with unexpected circumstances,
I choose my path, by choosing my reaction.

I choose to live in love, optimism, faith, beauty, warmth.
I choose spontaneity, nature, deep conversations, dreams.
I choose passion, risk, change, color.
I choose light, music, texture, spice.
I laugh, I cry, I experience, I give.
I nurture myself to be strong.

Sometimes my path is clear and my journey is effortless.
I savor these times, gathering strength,
languishing in bounty.

On rare occasions, my path seems blocked,
weather clouds my vision and dampens my spirit.
I trudge on in faith,
overcoming obstacles, trusting the sky to clear.
Sometimes I seek temporary shelter
and wait out the storm.

I believe God nurtures me in ways I cannot fully understand.
His grace is at work within me, and He walks with me.

I am a beam of light and many choose to walk with me,
warmed by my love, nurtured by my strength,
trusting my integrity, enrolled by my spirit,
stretched by my pace, comforted by my touch.
I am blessed by their presence.
I am supported, I am loved.
I am thankful.

On certain segments of my journey,
I have chosen to follow others,
nurtured by their spirit and love,
Guided by their wisdom.
I am thankful.

I walk with increasing purpose,
as I reflect on whom I have become,
and how my journey has enriched me.
My need to help others choose their paths
becomes ever stronger,
like a calling.

I see possibilities ahead that are exciting.
Mountains to climb that are more challenging
than any behind me.

I will choose the climb that calls me,
perhaps joining with others
so we can forge a new path,
that becomes a lighted way for others
drawn to higher ground.

You are choosing your reaction - to Live Strong and Live Well. You are choosing fun, community, sharing, and you are choosing to play BIG. You are moving out of the "comfort zones" of your previous cancer journey. You are going to a healer. You are looking for new ways to overcome this disease. Perhaps this mountain didn't call you - but none the less, you are forging a new path, a lighted way for others, toward a higher ground in healing... Oh yes, it's a bigger game, and we are your allies...

Incredible love and hope, and healing prayers,


Thursday, September 01, 2005 8:30:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that your courage and power will lead you through your journey and inspire us all. Sending you healing ("refua shlema") and love. Sharon A. IBM Bigger Game Player.

Friday, September 02, 2005 9:26:00 AM

Blogger Leslie Clark said...

Hello Laura,

I'm here.

I realize I don't know how to do this. I can feel myself wanting to write the absolute perfect thing and then I get all balled up, stuck and frozen. I start wondering about how to be the best friend I can be to you right now and it takes me different places. Such as, maybe the best thing to do is not to even mention the "C" word and talk about anything else there is to talk about, afterall you already hear and think about the "C" word a lot. So maybe I should just be cute, fun and quirky here. And then I think, well if I just do that, then that doesn't seem very compassionate of me. Perhaps I should use the word CANCER in every other sentence, just so that you know I'm not afraid to say CANCER, and so that I don't make you even more afraid of CANCER, and oh my God if I say CANCER too much then maybe I'll get CANCER, and well ... you get the drift.

The thing is my not knowing what to say is creating distance from you and that's the last thing I want to do. So here I am being fumbly and awkward and I guess I just have to trust that my awkardness won't actually be the impetus for any new tumors to grow. Oh so that's it ... I'm actually afraid of causing you harm by saying the 'wrong' thing.

Hmmm, interesting. Ok so I'll get over myself now and trust that if I go off too far in one way or another that you'll tell me. Deal?

So I plan to post a photo of me 'sans braces' for you and one of my dogs too, just because it's a fun thing to do. And I'll see what it else occurs to me in time.

Meanwhile, please know ... I just love you so!


Friday, September 02, 2005 10:14:00 AM

Anonymous Marita Fridjhon said...

Dearest Laura,
My thoughts, prayers and most powerful energy is journeying with you in Brazil as you step into relationship with this challenge.
I have so much more that I want to spill on the page, and...no words can express what I feel for both you and Judy in this moment. Please simply receive the energy from me and so many who respect and admire you, and LIVE WELL!
With love,
Marita and Faith

Friday, September 02, 2005 4:55:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura...loving you in this moment.
Smiling and feeling you deep in my heart.

I surround you with light, love, healing and peace now and forever...love Parool.

Sunday, September 04, 2005 1:44:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Laura, Many blessings to you and Judy, may your visit to John of God be fruitful and inspiring. We are your new neighbors in Sebastopol via Hawaii via Marin and via many mutual friends. Bill and I are available to you 24/7 for anything you and Judy need. Please call: 829-2070. We are living now on Grandview, not far from you. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Annah and Bill McCluskey

Monday, September 05, 2005 8:08:00 AM

Anonymous David Miller said...

Hi Laura,

I'm sorry to hear your news. Sorry because of all the stuff you will be facing, as you so eloquently described in your post. I firmly believe that we are never given challenges that are beyond our abilities, and I am sure you will rise to this challenge. You have always been, and are, a bringer of light, and I'm sure this challenge will allow you to bring yet more light into the world. I admire your courage.

The other night I heard this Rogers and Hammerstein song on TV which I'm sure you've heard, but here it is:

When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone



Monday, September 05, 2005 10:43:00 PM

Anonymous Mary Driscoll Baker said...

Dear Laura:

What an inspiration - all of these beautiful notes from the beautiful people in your life - you know how to create! So now I pray that you are opening to the light and creating wellness for yourself - and with Judy at your side and your very big spiritual community I trust that you will find this wellness and I sense that you already are living well.

Community is so powerful, and In the spirit of community I want to share with you one of my favorite passages:

Imagine people waking and rising together and beginning by singing themselves - body, mind and spirit - into the day. and honoring each day as it dawns.

A new day needs to be honored.
People have always known that.
Didn't they chant at dawn in the sun temples of Peru?
And leap and sway to Aztec flutes in Mexico?
And drum sunrise songs in the Congo?
And ring a thousand small gold bells in China?

With much love and affection, Laura,

Tuesday, September 06, 2005 10:35:00 AM

Anonymous Jeanne B said...

I hear your voice often
It rivals the turkeys
Thanks to you,
I am leaning into me
And finding
Me there
And I'm not helping and fixing anymore, I go over there first
And from that my daughter and I have designed a new alliance
And I'm seeing what is possible

How cool is that?

And I know that in the bigger space
What I send you will find you
And ...
Some of what I send is this;
My belief in you to be present in joy, in fear, in pain, in laughter, in faith, in beauty, in anger, in love, in sadness, in hope, in determination and in being human. To be present to the stars and the sun and the wind and the trees and the music. To be present to the you you've offered us that means our life.
And you know - some gobble gobble stuff
And I send you some feeling I'll call love and gratitude and a bit of bridge crossing energy all mixed up together - great soaring gobs of it

Tuesday, September 06, 2005 8:37:00 PM

Anonymous K'duite said...

Laura, Namaste'

I bet you are rushing to the end of message to see just who is writing. Hope it doesn't knock your socks off! We haven't seen each other in a very long time. It is Emily (Gildark) Blakely.

Laura, I don't know about you, but I am in shock. About Aug. 29 you came to my mind and as on other occasions, I wondered what Laura is up to these days? Well, I decided to do a simple search and was blown away by finding The Coaches website, seeing your picture load on my screen. As soon as I saw the top of the hair and forehead I knew it really was you! I was so excited.

I immediately sent an email to the website and have waited, until tonight when a reply came, giving the information to this blog site. I am so grateful to be able to talk to you. Your announcement to Family and Friends was another shock, I really wasn't recovered from the first one of simply finding you. Now I am convinced there was a reason you came to mind just when you did and I was able to connect.

There is much ground to cover, I'd say, so I won't take all the time on this first message to try to cover everything. I was totally intrigued by the work you are doing, and I am so very proud of all you have accomplished.

I am living in Sutherlin (small town), Oregon. Married to Clyde. My son, Dave, lives in Sutherlin as well. He just turned 32, hard to believe. I and my brother are caregivers for our mother, who will turn 89 in November. I don't know if you remember, but she was diagnosed with Parkinson in 1969 so has had a long road with that. She is total care, meaning we have to do everything for her, but she is easy to please and stays in good health other than the P.

Well, Laura, is that enough news from me for the time being? I loved seeing the pictures of you. You look great. Was that Leslie your sister??? I wouldn't have recognized her. Tell me how and I will put a pic of me next time. This is my first real Blog!

Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope this brings a real big smile to your face, if it doesn't knock you flat.

Love, Emily

Tuesday, September 06, 2005 11:50:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

P. S. Are you able to sing any of the songs we learned in K'du?

Writing in English as best I can:

Bedahune', Bygah yo bella,

Perry Beta-ahah

Hola ki nahola?

Myaloo jonlie, chardheh rdha jonoo,

Mon Miro mondanah.

Oo-oo did I mess it all up?

Love, Emily

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 12:08:00 AM

Blogger caseyandjenn said...

hi laura,
i hope brazil is treating you well in so many different ways. i hope john is/was able to work his healing with you for your spine and liver, removing those pieces that really don't belong there, have come uninvited and we ask to leave you. your words you write resonant with me in many respects and i feel the living message that you speak. i feel i've wanted to have many conversations with you that don't involve carpentry or jobs, but rather consciousness and sustainable living, the things of mind and matter and mystery. i know you have tapped so many shadows lately and felt the dark that forbodes and scares. i feel there's a lot of that in all of us and we learn so very much about the impermanence and transience of life/death/life cycle through these interactions with the shadowself. i hope to see you soon after you return and hear what happened in brazil. may you and judy live the happiest and closest you ever have in the coming years... all my love, case

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 8:49:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laura:
Know that I am sending you healing energy, white light and positive thoughts to heal and to continue to call forth that which is best in you.
Having recently had yet another visit to "Club Med", aka the hospital, I am acutely aware that as much as we try to control things, ultimately we are limited in that attempt. Surrender (as opposed to acquiesce, give in, give up, etc.) has been key in my survival strategy. Face what is so and go from there. Whether one is in the process of living or dying the game is the same. What is also true is that we are alive until we're dead. As always, you are a wonderful model for raising the bar on living and life!
I want to second Sam's suggestion about taking a neutriceutical. Anything that works on whole body issues is bound to be helpful for healing and for creating strength to fight the cancer. While I have no particular experience of it myself, my intuition tells me that it can't hurt.
Also, should you want to explore any clinical trials, let me know and I will do the research for you. All I'll need is your path report and your treatment history to see what clinical trials you might qualify for. I have a friend who was on the edge of death from Leukemia and got into the Gleevec trial and she's been cancer free for two years now. Not everyone is so successful but there is always that possibility.
If there is anyone who is as committed and stubborn enough to lick this dread disease, it's you.
Keep up the good fight and relax into all the love that surrounds you. If the amount of love and positive change that you have initiated around the globe counts as points with the initiator of souls, you've certainly have a huge edge over cancer's score.
Much love and continued healing,

Thursday, September 08, 2005 3:30:00 PM

Anonymous Carver said...

Dear Laura; Well, looks like you've received lots of love, light, good wishes, heart-felt emotions, etc. You said your mantra was more fun, more life, more often. Norman Cousins claimed that humor helped him cure his cancer so I'll give it a shot:
"Don't you wish that you could just give your emotions a day off?"

"Life is very deep, try and stay in the shallow end".

I'll send some more as soon as my brain wakes up. Love ya' Carver

Saturday, September 10, 2005 9:34:00 AM

Anonymous maya said...

Laura, dear friend,

I see what you are recieving now is a whole lot of love to swim in-- what good medicine! Please accept mine with all my heart and admiration for you as a strong and gifted woman---a person of amazing vitality and optimism. May it all contribute to your healing.

Much love, Maya

Saturday, September 10, 2005 11:02:00 AM

Blogger Pat said...

Dearest Divine Laura,
Just reminding you and myself and of your words... "Live Strong and remind myself that it can be easy, and that I can do it."
You can do it...loving you and holding you and The Bigger Game.
Pat O

Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:29:00 PM

Blogger Stacy Parson said...


Your most recent post about gratitude and prayer; the way you bring to life the metaphor of your journey; and the internal surgery you and Judy received have me wanting to share the following blessings from A Grateful Heart: Daily Blessings for the Evening Meal from Buddha to The Beatles:

This ritual is One
The food is One
We who offer the food are One
The fire of hunger is also One
All action is One
We who understand this are One.
- Hindu Blessing

Marvelous Truth, confront us
at every turn
in every guise
- Denise Levertov

It is written that "Everywhere, hands lie open to catch us when we fall." Let us give thanks tonight for this invisable support.
- M.J. Ryan

Sending love and healing to you, Judy and Leslie as you continue on your healing journey in Brasil.

Love, Stacy

Monday, September 12, 2005 8:53:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura & Judy,

I sure hope this finds you healing sooooo quickly there in beautiful Brazil... basking in the light of John of God. I hear he is quite the miracle worker, so spare no miracles on you; that's an order!

I am so very touched in reading the messages from you, and from your community - wow! what love and deep feelings I feel as I read - tears too. Live Strong and Openheartedly... comes through so very beautifully.

In the Spirit of sharing my joys, I just returned from 5 restful days at Tahoe, watching the jays feed on peanuts and flying from branch to beautiful branch of the pine trees outside our window. The Lake was gloriously blue, reflecting the blue skies above...

One of the things I took along to read spoke to me exactly what I needed at this moment, and I'll share it here just in case you need to hear it too (I doubt it, but... - it's part of a much longer article)

"If a person keeps choosing to play the role of the entitled victim, time after time, it doesn't seem like a choice anymore. To them it becomes who they are.

"There is another way that can work. We speak about awakening. We can awaken to the fact that there is a choice that we are making, and that we could make a different choice. We could find that place in ourselves where we have chosen what spirit we will express... to be characterized by the spirit of the creator that we are... (so much so) that it hardly becomes a choice anymore. It is just being who we are.

"...if you're making choices to experience yourself as an entitled victim, you can always arrange the facts to back you up.... we've seen situations going down the drain, and we've seen things moving in a creative spiral. We should know with absolute certainty what creates each and where that place is in ourselves that is the point of decision that makes things go either down or up.

"That is the antidote, being true to ourselves --not true to our little selves, not true to our personality selves, but true to the creative spirit that is the reality of who we are." (all from David Karchere)

And, dear ones, you sure do have that creative Spirit, and know how to express it! So, keep Living Strong. You go, girls!

I love you both very much, and look forward to seeing you in October - your faces bright and shining with health!

Namaste, Joanie M.

Monday, September 12, 2005 2:55:00 PM

Anonymous ted bayer said...

Hey Laura -
I'm thinking of you and sending my love and energy as you travel in Brazil. I'm looking forward to our chat on the 21st and intend to spend more time speaking about you than me!

Much love, Ted Bayer

Monday, September 12, 2005 3:46:00 PM

Anonymous Sue Sheldon - Dreamtimes said...

Hi Laura,
Adam is a 19 year old healer from Vancouver who healed Ronnie Hawkins from pancreatic cancer and his OWN mom from MS. Here is his webiste: www.dreamhealer.com. This is his visualization for cancer: Fire Visualization:
* Imagine intensely hot flames roaring throughout your body. The force of the fire rips the problem from its rooots.
* Focus on the area where the problem exists. Some people find it easier to be totally engulfed in flames.
* Feel the heat and see the problem turning to ashes right before your eyes.
* Incinerate it and watch it disintegrate. The ash blows away with the wind.
SEE the flames
FEEL the heat
HEAR the crackling
SMELL and TASTE the smoKe in the air

Monday, September 12, 2005 5:55:00 PM

Anonymous Breeze Carlile said...

Hey there Girly Girl,

Can you and Judla feel me thinking and loving you each day you are in Brazil? I keep trying to picture you in this new place, new country, changing, and being changed. Healing and being healed. This Blog is a good thing. I cannot possible know what you are experiencing in Brazil, but I try all the time to picture where you are, and what you are doing. I can't wait to sit at the Meadow House and listen to your stories, to your truth.

I read the postings here and I cry, crocodile tears. You know how the tears of joy are heavier, fuller, more round than the tears of despair? The despairing tears just flow down the cheek, while the tears of joy, emotional overwhelm, are fuller and just fall down the face? Well, when I read of all the prayers, light, energy, thoughts of healing, the acknowledgements of who you have been and what you have accomplished already in this lifetime, I cry crocodile tears.

We are so blessed by the people who love us, who hold our souls as true.

Its funny, I wonder that there is no way that you and Judy will not come back "changed", and will I still be okay in your esteem? Will you have seen the light of God so clearly that my blemishes and shortcomings will be glaring? Or maybe you will be gentle and just share with me new possibilities.

Either way, here we are, on an unbidden road:

"The Journey", by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
thought the whole house began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations --
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little, by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Loving you, Breeze

Monday, September 12, 2005 8:04:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to connect with you today and send my silent prayers for you and Judy on your Brazilian journey.
I so know you resist travelling, but sometimes there are journeys that we need to be on and obviously this one compelled you. So I wish you strength, and more importantly hope.

Its obvious from reading this blog that you are surrounded by a loving community and I know it is heart-warming and comforting for you, and as well for the rest of us. We do feel helpless at times and not sure the best way to support you - so I'm glad this is an avenue for that.

Brenda starts her chemo today and her journey as well. You have much to provide her in way of demonstrating strength and knowledge of her own abilities in the process.

Looking forward to hearing from you more and talking with you when you return. Big hugs xoxo Brenda Goehring

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 10:05:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,
Lora Banks told me of your request for information. I know of a young woman who had colon cancer spread to her liver and she is now cancer free. I contacted her to get any information that might be of help to you. She said she went to the Block Center in Illinois and saw an oncologist and nutritionist there early on. They helped her with diet, vitamins and supplements for her particular cancer cell. She is still taking the supplements. Their website is www.blockmd.com. She says that she ate not just to eat but to fight the cancer. She became a vegetarian, cut out dairy and sugar and quite a few other things. She also said she had a massage every week to release tension and walked everyday no matter how she felt during her chemo. She said that prayer for herself, friends and family was also very important. The traditional treatment was with Michael Sherman, in Walnut Creek and he worked with UCSF. She hopes this information will serve you and so do I.

You will be in my prayers,

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 3:10:00 PM

Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Laura and Judy:

Please read the info above from my sister-in-law Terri Holmes. You have asked for resources for treatment and here is one. Terri is in the health care business. I think she runs the MRI machines at a hospital in San Mateo. Anyway, read what she wrote.

Wow, how exotic, traveling to Brazil on your healing journey. I read your report Laura on John from God and I looked up his stuff on the web. How are you feeling? What is the impact on you? Do you believe in psychic surgery?

Jude - Congrats on your retirement. I am amazed at how smart you are girlfriend. And how is your healing journey?

I am off to Denver on Thursday for the second in the Systems Coaching series. I will meet with Burke and get the skinny on the latest CGT ceremony. Looking forward to more posts, more info.

Much love,


Tuesday, September 13, 2005 9:03:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Namaste' Laura,

I have been checking back here each day and was delighted today to see your latest message. It is a gift you give, to share your thoughts, experiences, fears and I thank you for that. It helps with clarity and focus of prayer. I have a sense of walking alongside you!

Love, Emily

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 1:49:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Dear Laura,

I recognize the reflective space, the journey you are now on. The familiarity of it had me go back to my journal/notes which I kept online also, as Dan was going through his stem cell transplant.

Since you have shared (and thank you for doing so) the philosphies of the Spiritists, I want to share part of my spiritual journey. And cancer is a catalyst (a gulp) which can lead to the boldness of exploring spirituality in a deeply personal way. Or perhaps it simply wakes us up to our hunger to know "why", or "for the sake of what". So here goes...

Note that this was actually edited from a response to an e-mail from a friend and supporter with more traditional religious views than my own. That note was also a catalyst, as it sent me to a "no - not that" place, and had me begin to articulate my own evolving beliefs.... Perhaps we could start a new thread out here - "What do you believe...."


I believe that God, or the Divine, or whatever we want to call Him or Her, reveals himself in many ways. For many, the Divine is revealed through the Bible, and through Jesus. I believe Jesus is one path, and I believe there are many. I believe the Buddhists, the Jewish, and all the various traditions have found their own paths to the Divine. These are traditions that seek to explain
the unknowable, and each has evolved through a tradition of seeking. Each is approximately right.

The parallels across the many faith traditions are what I believe in. That there is Divine energy, with many names, and they
are all referring to the same Divine energy and "being". And I must remind myself that each of us has our own personal path. (including those who do not believe in a "personal path" :-)

One thing that speaks to me is the 72 Angel tradition, as described in a recent book "Birth Angels" by Terah Cox. Terah, a friend of our mutual friend, Peggy Clarkson (a.k.a. Spirit), had the privilege of drawing from a recently excavated set of writings that had been literally walled up during the Spanish Inquisition. The 72 angel tradition is intriguing to me. It resonates with me. It is multi-traditional, cross-denominational. It allows each person to define a personal path. It happens to put a language around some of my own beliefs, perhaps in the same way that certain Bible passages speak to others. I also believe that there is a greater plan.

I also believe that we are all given certain gifts, and that it is our responsibility to use them well during this lifetime. I believe that these are God-given gifts, or gifts from the Divine, the source. And if those gifts include intelligence, and
perseverance, we should use them as much as we pray for divine intervention, because these are the gifts of God or the Divine within us. In any situation, if we dig deep enough, we can choose our response.

...this personal challenge with Dan, this battle with cancer, this ability to grow and be intentional in the face of cancer calls me forward to the next chapter in my life.

I have an emerging belief that I was chosen for this particular journey with Dan for a reason that has something to do with my life purpose, and my gifts, which I think go hand in hand. We are given tools for our own personal path. We can choose to develop and nurture these tools, or gifts. It is also our free will to ignore these gifts, and what they call us to do. I am very much a believer in free will.

I know through personal experience that it is possible to "find the gift" in cancer. And to also "share the gift". (Laura, this is what I see you doing this time! Thank you...) I know from my discussions with doctors and nurses, as well as with others who have cared for cancer patients that this "gift" is something that some find on their own, intuitively. But for so many others struggling with "why me", perhaps we can offer another perspective. We've been through "why me", and realized that - perhaps - "why me" is not the overriding question. Perhaps the question is "what now" or "how will I live more fully now that life has changed"? Perhaps the gift is having the permission of "cancer" to finally focus on what we have always wanted, but not pursued. Or to figure out what we truly hunger for!***********************************

Laura, you have so very many divine gifts, and you share them so generously, widely, and passionately. You "see" so deeply. You connect dots. So, for the sake of what has this been placed in your path? How is it evolving you? What's possible from here? So many questions... and my coaching certification supervisors have told me "slow down, one at a time, leave space" (and I smile, knowing the truth in that, and yet also knowing that you are already asking yourself these powerful questions at an even more breathtaking speed and frequency!).

I do feel very connected to you, and yet I miss you, and long for a deep conversation. So please continue to share, and let us evolve with you...

My love, our love, and great healing to you,


Thursday, September 15, 2005 8:55:00 PM

Blogger Dodi Benaron said...

Hi Laura:

I'm Leslie's Australia travelling companion.......and I am writing to tell you how instpiring your messages are. Thank you for that. I hope that you have found hope and peace in your journey to Brazil, and I hope that you will continue to increase your understanding (and ours) of the great unknowns in life.


Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:16:00 PM

Blogger laura hurd said...

Hi Laura,

Wow, sounds like you are having quite a powerful experiance.
Just a note to say hi and send love and light to you and Judy. I think about you daily and can acutually feel that you are on amazing journey. I look forward to being with you when you return home. Sending you love, love, love, and more love. I hope you can feel it and if you can't just look inside your heart right now:))) Because there we all are together in the present moment...LOVING YOU!!

Noel too!

See Ya later...have a wonderous trip home.

laura h.

Friday, September 16, 2005 2:43:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Dear Laura
I want to tell you that I think of you often and am sending you healing love and light on a daily basis, and you are also named in our church community prayers - know that a powerful network of prayer and healing is coming your way! So the good vibes are reaching you from Down Under too - can you feel it?!! Yes, this is a truly global healing experience!

You have had an extraordinary impact on my life and from me out to others that I touch with my work and living - I am forever grateful for your gifts to us all, and now you continue to lead us as you face this latest challenge in your life. Your spirit is indomitable, you are an inspiration to us all.
With my love and prayers - Jane Weber

Saturday, September 17, 2005 6:31:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Laura,

Greetings from the sunny island of Singapore. Since I heard about your dance with cancer I have lift you up in prayers every time I attend daily mass. Laura, you have true courage and you are creative, resourceful and whole. You have touched my life with Co-Activity. And I am a better person because of you. I know the journey that you are going through now is tough and know that you are not alone and you have friends all over the world praying for you. I am with you in thought and sending healing through to you. I love you. I want you to live strong and live well and blast away all the cancer cells from your body.
Anna Leong

Sunday, September 18, 2005 7:44:00 AM

Anonymous Rick Tamlyn said...

HI Laura and Judy-
i have been following your trip and more importantly your healing journey! I know you are healed-- i just know that for you.
A small reminder of inspiration. My Brother Keith was told he had 3 months to live 15 YEARS AGO by doctors in NYC. he has now been in remission for 13 years.
and so it is!
love you both deeply-
Rick Tamlyn

Sunday, September 18, 2005 5:25:00 PM

Blogger caseyandjenn said...

i've been visiting online and in my mind so so often. your story as it unfolds is full of diamonds...hard-earned diamonds, but diamonds nonetheless - you are seeing with new eyes and choosing to open, open, open and ask the good questions. always asking the good questions! thank you so much for inviting us to come be with you, support you and learn alongside you. there isn't anything i wouldn't do if i knew it would help or bring a smile. but all i have are words that can't capture all the healing and kindness i wish for you, so cyber hugs and kisses will have to do!

(photos to come)

still we share the meadow...
love always,

Sunday, September 18, 2005 6:37:00 PM

Blogger Pauline Lally, Earthquake said...

The more I experience your being, the more of an inspiration you are to me. Your courage and openness are lessons for me. Love, Pauline

Monday, September 19, 2005 2:22:00 PM

Anonymous Elaine Jaynes said...

Hello, Laura and Judy. Thanks, Laura for your wisdom and pointing for our leader days time together. I can hardly imagine your not being there...so I'll just imagine you there...joyous, well, strong and, as always, 100% engaged!

I send love to you both along with my prayers. I know you hold one another well; please remember that we are all out here holding and loving you both, too.

Those are my words. Elaine

Monday, September 19, 2005 9:03:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your words of wisdom from someone who is dealing with allopathic care. Why is it that so many of us (I include myself in this), smart, vibrant people, go numb and dumb when it comes to Western medical care? Well, there are many reasons, and that's not the point of my blog posting. I just want to thank you for reminding us to remember what we know and to stay true to ourselves.

You are such a salty dog, that pic of you and salty Don is PERFECT! At Leader Days starting Wednesday, we will be smart, remember what we know, question EVERYTHING, and love bigger than what the rules allow. I figure you would like this, you old rule-breaker you.

I'll miss you at Leader Days. Yeah, you'll be there in spirit and blah blah blah, I'm just a bit crankier because I can't pat your REAL butt in person, I have to pat your SPIRIT butt instead, and it just ain't the same thing.


Monday, September 19, 2005 9:37:00 PM

Anonymous Carver said...

Dear Laura;
Welcome Home. Katie Bryron says "Whenever you argue with reality, you're wrong, but only 100% of the time". My promlem is, whenever I try and close the door on reality, it sneaks in the window. Peace, Carver

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 3:40:00 PM

Anonymous Elana said...


If it's true that life as we know it is the smallest part of who we really are, is only a moment in our journey, then you have used this moment with so much vibrancy and courage that it enflames the rest of us to let go of our fucking, short- sighted, neurotic tunnel vision and open to a much bigger game. If we only have a moment in this form, then let's burn with it and live it strong and well. If there is a message in the cancer, perhaps it is that it propells you to the depths of your heart and soul and then in your love for life and others, you take us with you. I choose to believe that you are playing the biggest game possible in the only way it COULD be played. Thankyou! YOU ARE the gift. My heart is with you every day holding you in my arms and prayers as tears run down my face and inspiration burns in my being.

Thursday, September 22, 2005 6:54:00 AM

Anonymous Bonnie Gray said...

Welcome Home! I've been reading your comments and feel so lucky to know what is happening on the inside of you. It is a gift that you share with us, your friends and I thank you for it. I am happy to hear of your journey and the magic that your time was filled with along with the silence. I sent Lauren off to school and John was up at Mendocino giving a course and the house was so silent. For a time I was thinking that I was feeling lonely because I am so used to having less time than I need to do what I want. But after a while I realized that I needed to re-define how I felt. It was spaciousness. That must seem like a limited commodity in your world right now. But what I really want to say is that it took me a while to recognize what I was really feeling. This life is a Big Game and each moment can be misread to make us live a much smaller existence. When I thought that I might be feeling lonely , I felt fear and when I re-defined it , I felt peace with what was. Perhaps this is part of how we Live Strong. Becoming alert to the really large part of our lives no matter what the circumstances bring. Kind of like finding the doorway in the darkroom, instead of feeling trapped. Anyway, I am sharing my love with you and imagining your perfect well-being right now! I am glad that you will be in Reno with the doc! Give Babs a hug from me. She is quite a lady. Love to you and Judy, Bonnie

Thursday, September 22, 2005 8:43:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Laura, love your looking at what living well is now, and realizing for you, it is about being your full, passionate, fiery, loving and sometimes angry self! I am curious, what's your most compelling purpose now? Is it still "they just don't know how..."?

I see you playing BIG, choosing to walk through the gulps, choosing huge gulps. And it's a bigger game. It's way bigger than living longer, isn't it? We want you here with us, leading us, challenging us, probing us for a very long time! Don't get me wrong there! And it's bigger than living longer...

My love to you, prayers, healing energy, and gratitude....

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,


Saturday, September 24, 2005 4:41:00 AM

Blogger Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello Dear One:

Karen here. Technologically challenged as I am, I've not been able to figure out how to set up my own account, so I'm just going to use Henry's.

I am, indeed, sending you white light these week and each morning I call up a picture of your liver (I don't know what a liver looks like, so I sort of let an image come to me. Yours comes to me as smalling being, with lots of energy and fire and JOY.)

So, anyway, in my morning practice I call forth this image (I've started calling her LeLe. ..expanded from L.L. standing for, of course, Laura's Liver. Now, I know this is very corny. I know Mr. Corn is probably jumping up and down. . .so just tell him to pipe down!)

I call forth LeLe and I let myself experience how joyful she is and how alive and how able to respond. I ask her to help with the surgery and to not bleed too much as your requested.

I hope the surgery goes well for you, dear and I wanted to let you know how much I am enjoing dancing with LeLe each morning.

Love to you,


Sunday, September 25, 2005 5:44:00 PM

Anonymous Hesteah said...

Well, Well, Well,

What a powerful way to share your journey with all of us...

Seeing you in my mind's eye, I see you fighting, laughing, questioning, eating, thinking,

May this moment be a moment you once again choose to live strong, live well,

Breathing deeply I send you love,


Sunday, September 25, 2005 7:58:00 PM

Blogger holly mb said...


I am very self conscious right now, so I will begin by applying one of the many things you taught me - get over there - okay, now, over here I want to say this: I don't even know you, and you keep me up at night. I have found it hard to come closer to you and the cancer just puts something else in my way; what to say? What not to say? How to respect the request not to slobber on you? But I want to come closer. You are so remarkable at THIS distance, what must it be like to come in close? I will use whatever time we have in the future to come closer. I want to take you in, all of you, your cancer and your joy and your liver and your eyes. I want you to take whatever I have that may be of benefit or value to you.

I think of you most often in the day (your night). I am up with you. And when I pray this is what I say:

May all those who are frightened cease to be afraid,
and those who are bound, set free.

It is in the prayer cards at the Mother Tree.

And I've said nothing yet about the profound changes your life's work has made in mine. I shake my head now. I will just have to post again. This is what I wanted to say today. I'll be back.

I lived more strong today because of you. I hope your day has been blessed with a huge helping of STRONG.


With love and respect,
Holly MB

Sunday, September 25, 2005 8:49:00 PM

Anonymous Parool Mehta said...

Parool Mehta said...

Your voice has been ringing in my ears since R2. I am mezmerized by your strength, beauty, vulnerability and sheer sexiness. You inspire me to be more and to be me.

You are the mother of earthquakes. Of a 22 richter scale earthquake of healing, health, love and longevity behind you. Sourcing all that is well. Sourcing life, love, fun, joy and laughter - the kind that brings tears to your eyes, makes you want to go pee and hurts good in the belly.

I sit here holding you in my heart because one day we will be celebrating your recovery.

Much love...Parool
(originally posted 8/24/05 at 6:18a)

Monday, September 26, 2005 2:19:00 PM

Anonymous Sara S - corporate lady said...

Laura, Well it took THIS to get me to a blog. Yes, its me, the technically obsolete IBMer...committed to never blog. Its way too complicated - like taking pictures with a cell phone or doing something else with a blackberry besides making a pie! At least those were my excuses for being an AWOL friend. Ah, but I'm here and learning the blessing of the blog. In your notes I can hear your voice. Sometimes its quiet and reflective. Other times, not so much. :=)

With this note I join the cloud of friends and aquaintances who surround you with love like a favorite blanket. As I read the notes I kept saying, "yeah, me too!" I join Sam H. in acknowledging the wholy unique place you've created in my life and my learning. I share with Karen K-H the dance of the healthy LeLe. And I grow in my awareness of the possibilities of the universe through your reflections on John of God. I find more and more I don't even know what I don't know.

This is the part of the note where I wish you...what do I wish for? What I really wish for that next conversation we will have.

All I can do is to pray for you what I pray for myself...to work hard, to play hard, to laugh out loud until it hurts. And to live every day as though its the greatest gift you've ever been given. You have my love and my prayers. I'm part of the cloud and I love you, Sara Smith ssmith1@us.ibm.com

Monday, September 26, 2005 2:57:00 PM

Blogger Stacy Parson said...

Hey Laura,

A while back I posted a comment about Living Out Loud and the fear of "foolishness" in the More Fun! More Life! More Often! section. As I've been hanging out with Living Out Loud, here are some observations:

One day, I danced all the way to work (in my car) - several people turned and laughed. Whereas before I would have seen this as a sign of me being "foolish" what I saw this time was acknowledgement - like, "thanks for bringing that into my world." It was like they were trying to connect to where I was. That place of permission to be free and a little bit silly. It's like they wanted some of it for themselves. What I took away from this was some insight on permission.

Don't spend so much time waiting for permission - especially when it's something that lifts you or someone else up.

I know that there have been many times where I haven't waited for permission from you, and thanks for being so gracious and receptive.

The other thing that I'm getting is that the concept of "loud" may have less to do with volume and more to do with being heard. And not even necessarily with being understood - just having a voice. I'm noticing how many times I will hold off on saying something because I'm worried about being understood or clear. Maybe that's not my job (at least not all of the time). Maybe I'm just supposed to put it out there and let others get their own understanding?...

It can be REALLY hard to say what's really going on, how it really feels. To share, even though...(fill in the blank).

Your willingness to really say how it is for you blows me away! And on the other side of it, there is always so much richness -- not necessarily comfort (smile) -- but definitely aliveness. The slogan Live Well is a new one for you, but I suspect that you've always been in search of how to do this - live well - no matter how hard it is.

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other."

This is how I see you - as the Alchemist.

Love, Stacy

Monday, September 26, 2005 4:05:00 PM

Blogger Art Shirk said...

Dear Laura,

You are, I think, on your way to Long Beach. You and Judy are part of how I start my day these days... I think of you both... I see you in my mind's eye... I feel you in my heart, and I send you love.

We missed you so much at Leader Days. And, of course, you were very much with us throughout. You would have been very proud of how everyone "stepped up" and how tough issues were tackled -- with forthrightness... with challenge... with love... and with a profound degree of respect that was uncovered as the event unfolded.

I had a cardiac stress test yesterday -- the first in about six months. I'll get the results next week and I can tellthat it went relatively well -- much better than six months ago. I notice that I'm shy about reporting my own postive medical news to you, while you have been in the midst of bad news. Part of me wants to forget what it is like to face the shock of bad news and have the world turned upside down. I'm not going to do that, though --- for the time being, I'm doing well and getting better. I find that it is all too inviting to allow that to mask the lessons and awareness that come from facing life threatening circumstances and news. I won't let that happen.

It's turning to autumn here in new england... soon I'll find a perfect leaf for you and Judy.

Sending love and light andhugs,


Tuesday, September 27, 2005 9:36:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I want you to know that you continue to be in my heart, my prayers and I continue to source that the cancer leaves your body. I believe so much in the positive energy that not only is being sent your way, but that you feel in your own heart. My aunt was diagnosed with liver cancer 15 years ago and was told that she had 6 months. She just celebrated her 80th birthday!!!

I want you to know how much you have touched my heart and my life and how much better my life is now because of you and living a coactive life! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...
Stacy Gorin

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 11:05:00 AM

Anonymous Don Schramm said...

Dear Laura:

You have been in my thoughts very often these past days. I asked for your e-mail and was directed to this site. Maybe you are reading this from that internet cafe next to the juice and tea bar in Brazil. I was in Brazil last March with my mom visiting the same healer as you. The long and short of it is I wish only the best life has to offer you. I know the learning can come in some pretty uncomfortable and challenging circumstances. Please know from me that you are in my prayers, thoughts and I look forward to continue to work with you on the course. I will be holding you in my toughts as you bask in the current room and crystal baths.

Love, Don Schramm

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 3:32:00 PM

Anonymous elaine jaynes said...

Hi, Laura. So...past your surgery date and Judy's birthday..so only belated wishes are possible. And belated counts...picture love just hanging there in time so every time you think of that experience (now slightly past)you are caressed by the energy of it.

Leader Days were wonderful...you were missed hugely, and loved, and prayed over and probably your name was even taken in vain a couple times!

Thinking of you... ej

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 5:34:00 PM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

I can't sleep so I'm working on our workshop. I'm thinking of you, Laura, right now as I write out the activities.

Your post about kindness has stayed with me and draws me to this part of a prayer for caregivers that I have stapled to my wall. (I live in a log home, so I can staple away, no problem.)

"Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light, for one another when the darkness falls."

I think of that a lot. All of us will take your turn, share your road, your initiation. I know that in your posts you have been (with great kindness) pointing to this for us.

Holly MB in an earlier post articulated something that I feel: I want to be closer to you, intended to call you after R2, and let myself feel put off by this cancer. But not tonight.

Love: Jeanne C

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 12:55:00 AM

Anonymous Barbara Swanston said...


I’m not sure what to write so I’m not going to think but just write. I have read your blog and your notes about your journey on the long and windy road, through the ups and downs, the straight and winding, the strange and familiar, and I am so moved by your honesty and your courage. I read this poem and thought of you:

You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
Love what it loves
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you about mine
Meanwhile the world goes on
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
Are moving across the landscapes
Over the prairies and the deep trees.
The mountains and the rivers
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
Are heading home again
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely
The world offers itself to your imagination
Calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
Over and over announcing your place
In the family of things

By Mary Oliver

I am holding you in my thoughts, sending bright healing energy and love to you and walking beside you with my hand on your back. Can you hear my orchestra? I hope so. Love B:}

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 11:53:00 AM

Anonymous Faith Curtis said...


I'm so glad that you have written down your thoughts on this journey. Reading them helps to take the strangeness out of your reality and give it a voice. That means so much! My mother died of cancer when I was 24 so it is a real thing to me. Unfortunately, I was not privvy to her thoughts choosing instead to handle the whole process by denying it. Now you have given us another gift - the one of your private thoughts while sitting with cancer yourself. Somehow there's a peace about it all when I read your words.

I send you my love, my support, my warmth and anything else that might be useful. And, can't wait to see you in November.

All my love,

Faith Curtis

2:43 PM

Thursday, September 29, 2005 7:16:00 AM

Anonymous Elena said...

Elana said...

Just letting you know that my love and healing prayers surround you daily. Thankyou for sharing your journey with us. It'an enormous gift and keeps our hearts and spirits so very connected to yours.
Much love,

7:34 AM

Thursday, September 29, 2005 7:59:00 AM

Anonymous Pat Obuchowski said...

Hello Divine One,

I hope today is a good day for you. No, I hope today is the best day that you've had in months!

I just finished crying after reading your words on kindness. Through some workshops I've taken from a place called CTI I've learned that I am here to 'inspire kindness' and I question all the time how do I fully do this even when I am feeling not feeling so kind toward others or feel others are not being so kind toward me. I, too, have come to learn it is simply 'seeing' another.

I heard one time there is a country in Africa whose people, when greet each other, instead of asking "How Are You?", (and not really waiting or wanting to hear the answer, like we sometimes do), they say "I see you."

When I think of the impact of this simple statement "I see you" on another human being, and when I think of having someone say this to me, it simply takes my breath away. Like receiving a rose tatoo from a technician. I imagine a world where we say 'I see you' to each other. Simple Beauty...I embrace Einstein's principle that everything should be as simple as possible and no simpler.

Your writing also reminded me of a poem by Virginia Satir titled Making Contact

I believe
The greatest gift
I can conceive of having
from anyone
to be seen by them,
heard by them,
to be understood
touched by them.
The greatest gift
I can give
to see, hear, understand
and to touch
another person.
When this is done
I feel
contact has been made.

Laura, I see you. And because of you and your words, today I will tell someone something gentle, or loving, or acknowledging them. I will tell someone how I see them, and care about them. I will do something kind.

Loving you, Pat O

Thursday, September 29, 2005 11:49:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just received the link to your blog. I read all your notes at once and I feel so happy that I can be part of your journey. I have been thinking of you every day since R2, sending you earthquake energy and was wonderung how you felt. I am stunned by your strength. Even in this most challenging time you are 100%. 'Live strong' - that is you. I am grateful and blessed to know you and to have you as my leader.
Ute, an earthquake

Friday, September 30, 2005 9:05:00 AM

Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Dear Laura and Judy:

Sometimes I don't know how I know things but, I just do. And when I read about the liver spot being too small for the surgery, I knew that was a good sign. Of course, I read what you said Laura, boo hoo or hooray and it is most certainly a hooray.

And I suspect (and think I know) the power of intention and prayer and perhaps psychic surgery by John of God are at work in that body of yours. I see so many sending you prayers and healing energy and I remember White Eagle saying "pray for the healing not for the cure."

And..... the healing may very well be the cure. Why not? I hear the evidence of some things not so good, spots, growing tumors, 10%. Yet I am sensing much healing here and I know the lack of growth in the liver spot is the salient sign. Let us hang our hopes here in the days of waiting and see where that takes us.

Miss Judy, I am thinking of you and how precious your support and presence must be to your beloved Laura in these days. Sending you much love, many blessings, and once again, do call when you catch your breath and let's catch up.

Love to you both,


Friday, September 30, 2005 6:17:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,

Every time I tune in to your blog I find myself in tears. I am so deeply touched by your expression of what is going on, by your deep, deep looking, listening and truth-telling. You have opened so very very much over these past few years and, omigosh, recent months! And I wonder how Jude is doing through all this... I guess I've been a bit afraid to call, not knowing what to say and feeling a bit embarassed and ashamed about that... knowing that you both have a lot of support, and, well, would I have anything to add?

I'm really happy your trip to Brazil went so well... that is an awesome journey. I've heard nothing but praises about John of God's healing abilities, and know that they are working well on you, too! I am so very far from you all, sitting here at my partner Jack's friend's guest house (Vera's) in Kailua, Oahu enjoying the warm, sticky breeze (me sticky, I guess, not the breeze). The rains were fierce this morning; a threatened hurricane downgraded to a "tropical depression" so we can be thankful for that! As for sharing my joy, we have had a couple of beautiful hikes through rainforests here... and luscious swims in the ocean (one was a bit bumpy but who cares.) I feel like a school kid taking photo after photo of the beautiful flowers and birds. As if we didn't have any at home to love! It's also been really sweet being with Jack, lazing around the house doing a bit of email and stuff... and even watching TV. I couldn't believe all the stuff I missed in the 60's, that they showed in the PBS special about it last night. How the ground was laid there for so many of the things that are going on today in the news. Lots of pauses for thought! There really is some good stuff on TV from time to time.

I do appreciate the challenges you mentioned about dealing with the medical establishments! I think back on the challenges my cousins had when daughter gave father a piece of her liver in a transplant... amazing family journey! and they are both doing so well a year+ later. His wife, too, after a double mastectomy several years ago...They both have medical backgrounds and know a lot about cancer, livers and stuff, if you would like to talk to someone really knowledgeable. I definitely believe in miracles, and that God(dess) guides us when we get out of the way... with far greater wisdom than I could come up with. I wish you vast, healing miracles...

I talked with Shekinah earlier, and am very much looking forward to the big celebration of her and Jude. They sure do deserve it! I planned my trip so I'd be back in time... I also really look forward to seeing you and giving you a toast... you are quite an incredible inspiration.

I guess I'll close now... with love and wishes of living strong: I love what you say about that. And, please wish Judla a belated happy birthday! See you soon, Joanie

Friday, September 30, 2005 6:53:00 PM

Anonymous Linda J. Taylor said...

Hi Laura

Did I tell you I was taking part in the Worlds Largest Coffee Morning(with coffee morning events happening all around the UK)? Well it was Friday and I made a real effort to make it a 'cool' coffee morning event - and it really was, and we raised some good money for cancer relief.

And I noticed something along the way. It couldn't be just any old coffee morning, it had to be a 'cool' one (in my eyes).

I realised that when asking people to give up their time, travel some distance, make a donation for cancer relief - I felt I had to make it worth their while.It was hard asking for something without giving something back in return. This asking for what you want/need stuff can be a bit of a stretch.

And it made me wonder how it is for you at the moment with asking for what you want/need????

Getting back to the Coffee Morning. We created some great energy that morning with sharing summer pics, swapping good books, telling life stories and eating Green and Blacks chocolate (it was a delight).

My story was about my friend in Sebastopol who is living strong and continuing to be an inspiration. You may have experienced a cosmic wrench as you took centre stage for your humanness whilst reminding us of ours. What better way to use your time :-).

Please keep asking for what you want/need. It may not show up in the way you expect, but it will show up.

with much love


Sunday, October 02, 2005 11:01:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

LauraG, I have been away for a while.....had an emergency with my Mom, a short stay in the hospital and now trying to get our lives back to 'normal.'

ecblakely@cmspan.net is my address.

I loved what you wrote about the Living Well fantasy of becoming a serene and gentle spirit. Most likely someone of that nature might look at the fierce and strong and feel a need to reach for that, when in reality we are each unique and special. Through life and living, we rub off on each other in a complimentary way without changing who we really are.

I appreciate all your words and sharing. Researching the medical alternatives available as you have been doing is a tremendous job. A lot of weeding, wondering, thinking, praying and waiting. I keep praying for your discernment in these important matters.

Love, Emily

Monday, October 03, 2005 12:58:00 AM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

Tomorrow, Elana and I co-lead our Earthquake workshop, "Living in the Presence of Mystery: A workshop for people touched by life-altering illness."

We have 12 attendees; the energy of workshop is powerful already.

Pauline and Jim are joining us. Please know that we'll be sending the healing energy/merit of the day to you. Nothing to do; we're holding you.

Love: Jeanne Cunningham

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 4:39:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello my friend,
Tried to reach you through this blog to see how things went in Reno. Can't wait to hear. The days have been exquisite here in Mill Valley although the earthquakes and floods and hurricanes are that much more difficult to comprehend. Today I heard from Martin Prachtel that New Orleans is considered the vulva of the US and that we have been throwing our toxins into her for a long time and changing her form(the levies) that the hungry spirits have called for something more in the form of the hurricane. I also heard someone call the hurricane the Goddess Katrina. Its amazing how we can format information so differently. I hope that the information that is coming your way brings a clarity for you. Many blessings, Bonnie

Saturday, October 08, 2005 8:36:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...


By now you are most likely on your way to Nevada and soon the unknown community there will be known to you. I will be praying that you find refreshment there, for body and soul.

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Monday, October 10, 2005 12:43:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


It is a bleak, damp fall morning and I prepare to go out and do some last work with the pear trees before winter sets in. I paused to read your latest posting and stopped because now there is something I must do before I go further.

I am reminded by your committment to feed your body only organic, nourishing healthy food that the thoughts we feed our minds do the same thing. I think of how much hunger/passion it takes to make the choice to live well and stay with it. And that at times it seems to me as if it is the biggest battle, swimming upstream against a powerful, raging current.

And then I read or hear something, like your words, and I have to laugh, or cry, because I realize I have I've become attached to the struggle and lost sight of what I wanted. Of course all of it is there, all the time.

I go to Germany next week to do the workshop with Simone, then to the Bigger Game at the end of October and back to R3 in November. It seems amazing that I go to these places and do these things that still my thoughts go with me that I have in the pear orchard.

Laura, I often think of you and that makes my thoughts bigger.

And what I stop to do right now is to look at what I am seeing and see the organic beauty that is there and then that is what I take with me everywhere.
And more of course- you know - gobble gobble stuff

Love Jeanne B

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 6:37:00 AM

Blogger Eva said...

Dear Laura,

Laura, I wish you ‘more’.
It is your birthday: I wish you more life, more good strong cells, ready to fight off the others, more energy, more love around you for you. Uplifting, fresh wind, good sunshine to nurture you.

So many things to ‘report’

1. I am thinking of you every single day, sort of praying, imagining you, massaging your feet, listening, talking to your cells.

2. The conveyor belt: I had a dream today – I am sure related to your message about living a good life. I was travelling on this very comfortable conveyor belt. It was very spacious, elegant, it was like a people mover and I travelled through conferences, through open spaces, through building sites, up and down. Did not stop anywhere. And there was the checkpoint. You were sitting there with a friend of yours and asked me how do I do?

I answered: Really… I do not stop enough… and although the conveyor belt was travelling with me on, I am not sure I savour all the experiences. So suddenly, the next picture was in the dream that I was following you and your friend. We were in a theatre, you sat separately from me, and that was OK and I was ready to really be in the theatre and taking things in. The dream speaks more or less for itself.

3. Bigger game You remember at the end of our leadership training you and Karen said: Let your leaders know when you reach something, because it is also important for you leaders to know what is ‘cooking’. LOts of cooking happened since then, lots of gradual slow cooking , all worth it. So three years later I did one breakthrough. I went to an international women networking conference and presented is brand new workshop about how to tackle risks. It was a total success. Working with the dark side. What happened to people was that unpleasant risks associated to their dreams and goals, instead of being like a grey cloud hanging over, became just “things to do”. The emotional shift? Liberation, focus, hope, ahhhh = some sort of calming down leading to action. So I feel I entered the zone of my bigger game. ( In fact I asked lots of help, was bold, etc). Oh and I am also a supervisor for CTI- which I absolutely love and do well.

4. I would like to send you some so comfy shoes for inside. You saw them on me at leadership and liked them at the time, and now I found them. Originally from Portugal, and you can buy them outside that tiny country! What colour? Blue, black, brown?

5. Idea: what about a call with friends sometime? I would love to hear your voice and I bet everybody would.

6. Reno sounds a place for healing, I wish you the best healing.

With lots of love Eva

Friday, October 14, 2005 12:20:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

I thought you'd like to know that your powerful question of...'what are you waiting for?' has found it's way into my work culture. I asked someone here that question in a personal moment and he was compelled by those words. He has embraced them as a 'mantra' for initiating change...what are we waiting for?

I smile as I write this, wondering what will happen when he begins to ask that question over and over again to the various players. I smile wondering what their reaction will be...what change will occur however subtle...what the impact will be. I smile because it has Laura written all over it. Love having you here.

Much love...Parool.

Friday, October 14, 2005 8:19:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I read this quote, I thought of you...

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I am with you kid Let's go!'

--Maya Angelou


Monday, October 17, 2005 6:06:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I felt the magic at the lake. It brought tears to my eyes knowing and experiencing it through you.
I am mezmerized by how much courage and energy your healing involves.

As for the question...how could I not ask it? It reverberates in my heart and soul. I ask myself this question to source what I want and more importantly who I want to be in any given moment. I've taken some pretty big leaps and I must admit, they haven't always been how I thought it be. Henry said, hope your heart breaks everyday...well, the man got his wish. I'm not sure I like it some days and I am smiling as I write this...big. It sure does feel alive though.

Love Parool

Monday, October 17, 2005 10:45:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi there Laura,

It is Shekinah here and I just finished reading your lastes posting about your special Birthday weekend. What a job to be present to so many blessings and I really got that you were there in the moment enjoying all the feeling that were flooding within you. Thanks for the beauty you gave me in describing Lake Tahoe in her splendor. I felt as it I was there taking it in with you.

These posting from you are so very special, giving me moments to really hear what you are saying and what you are maybe experiencing. I love making up stories about how you may look what your expressions are, how serious or funny you are. It is all a wonderful experience of being with you.

You touch my heart each time I read of your journey.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.
Emily Dickinson
US poet (1830 - 1886)

Love and Blessing to you my friend,


Monday, October 17, 2005 4:49:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Laura, Thank you for sharing that very special and beautiful weekend. It truly was magical, especially the snow!!!

We are enjoying small numbers of rainy days here in our spot of Oregon, not to the 7-or-however-many-days of rain in a row just yet. Beautiful fall days between the few rainy ones. Some intense warm sunshine lingering. It feels so good and I know it will soon be gone for the winter.

Back to you magical weekend. Sounds like the birthday girl was given a royal treatment and I can see your face lit with delight. A few years ago I bought a little halo at our local fair, it is meant for young girls and is made of the curly wrapping ribbon. Colorful, with long strands of the curled ribbon. I have since used it as a birthday halo, not reserved for just the young, but find it fitting for any age. That is how I visualize you on that weekend, dancing around with the halo on with much laughter and delight.

Love, Emily

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 12:19:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...


Hello Laura! Nothing much to say here tonight, other than thank you for being here, and continuing to share this journey. I am wondering about the system, what you are uncovering about that conceptually... I imagine you having "aha" moments, and maybe even formulating your learnings back into the BG model, or creating whole new conceptual models. Playing with the really big questions, like what is the purpose of this earthly life? And then what?! If there is such a thing as time (because if not, I guess "then and now" are irrelevant!!).

And maybe it's all about love, and not so very much else, because that is actually huge! If so, you are basking in what it's all about, and you're one of the biggest nurturers of love for fellow humans that I know.

So here's to love, to and from, in this space, in our hearts, spilling out in loving glances, words, touches, prayers, intentions, thoughts. And also to "tough love", to authenticity, to passionate outbursts, to mistakes, to healing.

My love to you,

Melissa O

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:57:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...


Hello Laura! Nothing much to say here tonight, other than thank you for being here, and continuing to share this journey. I am wondering about the system, what you are uncovering about that conceptually... I imagine you having "aha" moments, and maybe even formulating your learnings back into the BG model, or creating whole new conceptual models. Playing with the really big questions, like what is the purpose of this earthly life? And then what?! If there is such a thing as time (because if not, I guess "then and now" are irrelevant!!).

And maybe it's all about love, and not so very much else, because that is actually huge! If so, you are basking in what it's all about, and you're one of the biggest nurturers of love for fellow humans that I know.

So here's to love, to and from, in this space, in our hearts, spilling out in loving glances, words, touches, prayers, intentions, thoughts. And also to "tough love", to authenticity, to passionate outbursts, to mistakes, to healing.

My love to you,

Melissa O

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:57:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey dear Laura,
Here's your song, custom made for you...

To the tune of "LOVE was made for you and me" (or something like that, just go
with it :-) The words in parens should be sung like a quick rap.


"L" is for the way you Love so much (and Laugh, Look, Lean in, Lean on, Listen, Learn
and Lure...)
"A" for Always having a fierce and gentle touch (and Advocating, Appreciating,
Actionating, Astonishating and Awesomating)
"U" for being Ultimately super, savvy, loving and a challenging lady (and
Understanding, Upstanding, Undertaking challenge making, Undaunted, never
haunted - oh yeah!)
"R" for Rigor expecting, calling forth and appreciating with such vigor and no
rejecting (and Rich, Razzy, Rallying, Regenerative, Right ;-), and Rightous)
"A" for All the things you bring to all those leadership rings
"A" for Asking us to do such hard and wonderful things
"A" for "yes, Anding" all and helping us meet and make better calls
"A" for Action now - even if we don't know how!!!

That is Laura, although only a brief overview.
She's all these things and so much more, this is so true...
She's a special lady, love her so much it could make you crazy,
She's a fighting one, she won't be ever underdone...

Thank you Laura for the gifts you bring
They're so much better than 5,000 diamond rings
You're a gift you know, all that magic it just makes you glow,
Laura, Happy Birthday to you (and many many many more...)
Laura, Happy Birhtday to you (and even more after that...)
Laura, Happy Birthday to you!!!!

Love you Laura, keep on trekking!
Hugs, Anese

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 2:25:00 PM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Hi Laura, wow to see all the wonderful well wishes to you. You are surrounded by so many people who love you and have felt your incredible impact on their lives.

I want to share with you the Daily Word/Prayer for Friday 10/21:

Awakened to the power of God within, I radiate a sureness of purpose.

If I become anxioius about a situation in my life or in the world, I can be certain of one thing: such anxiety is not helpful. I can better acomplish my part in finding and contributing to solutions when I am calm, relaxed and confident.

I create an atmosphere of calm within and around me by knowing there is nothing that is beyond the power of God to accomplish. The divine presence is within me and within all people. Through prayer, I become more aware of the activity of God in me and in my world.

Awakened to the power of God within, I radiate a sureness of purpose in every word I speak and every action I take. Being at ease myself, helps others be at ease with me.

"Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" -- Matthew 6:26

Know that I am thinking of you and really missing you.....Susan

Friday, October 21, 2005 6:59:00 AM

Anonymous Roberta Coker said...

Laura -

It has been a very long time since I have posted here, but that does not mean that you have not been in my thoughts, prayers, and dreams.

I am still awe-inspired by your courageousness and spirit, having just read through all your postings, and am glad that your sometimes good/sometimes bad tenacity seems to be serving you well, so far, in this adventure.

Words seem so inadequate to convey what I feel and wish for you. I desparately would love to effect some sort of tangible improvement in your plight, yet am not sure that I am equipped to do that. I offer you and Judy love and support in whatever form you need that to manifest. Just let me know....

In the meantime, know that you are in my heart and our aquaintance is a blessing on my soul.


Monday, October 24, 2005 4:52:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


We haven't heard from you in a few days......Just wondering where you're at right now.

I've re-read your messages at least three times and I'm hungry for more; for more of you. I realize that there are lots of others who would like that too. Its OK, we can share. We want to share you.

Love, Pauline

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 9:39:00 AM

Blogger Heather Diddel said...


Hey there, Laura - -

Just want you to know that we are riding the waves with you - -and sending you love and gratitude for your remarkable sharing of yourself as you go through this latest part of your path. I wonder if you have any sense of the gift that you continue to give to all of us - - in your honest musings about your ups and downs, quandaries, epiphanies, wisdom, humor, sharpened awareness of the moment, rigorous questioning of yourself and the uiverse, your delving into cancer, reasons for its "sprouting" and ways to find cures. You are truly showing us an extraordinary way to walk this part of the path....I love to read your writings in the evening, to see and hear your truth, how life looks from your eyes, how you quest to make sense of life in this moment, what new learnings have emerged since yesterday, how passionately and honestly you continue to live....We send you much love and a warm long-lasting hug -- and deep thanks for you, your tender heart, your warrior spirit, your connection to a bigger life and your gift for bringing life and light to others even as you go through this scarey time.....

love love love - -

Heather ( aka hdiddel@woh.com)

p.s. I loved reading about the Spiritists. It resonates with some of the reading and thinking Sam and I are doing through an interesting group at Unity....Speaking about interesting things which make us think of you, here's another: After thinking about it for quite a while, Sam and I spoke with White Eagle today ( along with a number of other great, like-minded folks )and have decided to be part of one of her next CGTs...I'm curious re what your experience of the CGT has been...More later - -H

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:10:00 PM

Anonymous Roy Chan said...

Hi Laura,

it was my pleasure meeting you in Armonk in January this year. As much as I associate you with The Bigger Game, I can fully understand how big a game you have been playing with your health condition.

My father did not play it big, so his cancer got the "bigger" of him instead. He battled with it for 2 years.

You are a bigger game player in your own rights, so nothing gets bigger than you, not even cancer.

There are still many people in this world waiting for you to inspire, and so you will, I am sure.

Thank you, my best wishes for you.

Roy Chan
IBM Singapore

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:25:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

I have really enjoyed checking in on you each day via the "Blog". I am so excited that your journey has delivered you to walking in nature and enjoying the weather...love that....and I know you do too!

Sending you all my love via the "Blog"


laura h.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:46:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Sweet Laura,

You looked radiant this weekend at the Party in the Country, so good to see you looking so festive and soft and lovable. You so know that each time I see you I am falling more in love with you.

Sounds like you had a good time and are enjoying the peace and soul food that Nature is giving freely to you as you walk on her path. Sigh... so sweet, you are living those moments in a wonderous way.

You support me in remembering the beauty that each moment offers me when I take the time to look.

I know you will have a blast this weekend at the Bigger Game Workshop.

Love to you and All those that are willing to play their Bigger Game. You are a great role modelon how to play BIG in the World ! !

Love to you and Big Hugs,


Wednesday, October 26, 2005 5:15:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Someone send me this in an e-mail today. I thought you might enjoy reading it.

“Your difficulties are not a mistake”

Do not assume that because life has led you to a place where you are clinging to the edge of a mountainside, feeling exposed and at risk, nothing but difficulties and challenges surrounding you, that this has been a mistake or that it is not exactly where you ought to be. Assume rather the opposite.

Assume that this position of yours is exactly what you need to teach you the deepest and most profound lessons. Lessons of courage, lessons of faith, lessons of trust. Focus not on the betrayals and mistakes which may have led you here. Focus instead deeply inside, on what it will take to find the next handhold and move gradually off the precarious shelf and onto firmer footing. Focus on the courage you will need to make it through the storm which is brewing in the distance even now. Focus on the help which surrounds you and which is signaling to you, pointing the way, showing you the next step to take.

For when you reach the top of that mountain, you will look out on the wide vista below and feel within you all of the strength and courage it took to continue. You will know yourself as strong and capable; you will be full of pride for having endured and triumphed.

How foolish to waste this moment in crying, trembling or ranting in anger, when you might instead reach down within and find there great treasures, great wonders of strength and patience, and a deep connection to your own spirit

Here is a little prayer for today

I have within me all that I need to face the challenges which life brings to me. I honor all of my past actions and accept that I am, right now, exactly where I need to be for the next wonder of my life to unfold.

I am full of faith. I am open to the guidance and help which surrounds me at all times. I am deeply connected to my higher self and to all that is.

I am full of peaceful acceptance. I am.

Love and Light,


Thursday, October 27, 2005 4:41:00 PM


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