Personal Notes to Laura: August - October 2005
Visit this section to view personal notes and expressions to Laura made from August 2005 through October 2005.
posted by Anonymous at 2/25/2006 11:37:00 AM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
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78 Comments:
Laura,
I haven't met you yet, and still you have had a big impact on my life. Did I say big? Huge. Huge is more like it.
And I mention this by way of you HEARING about your impact. I mean I get that you know, at some level, but each time we hear, each time we are reminded, as we all know, we are called forth to a greater place. That is the greater place I want for you and know you will be living in as you move forward.
And so I want to tell you about the impact you have had on me. I am a new facilitator with CTI. I am totally excited and alive about it. In your founding CTI, creating this work and taking a stand in the world for a bigger vision, you made my life totally bigger, richer, fuller. And you created an avenue for me to express my love in the world. Your ripple out is absolutely MASSIVE.
A second, more personal impact is that after I had taken the CCC, I knew that wanted to lead this work. So I knew I was going to take leadership. What I didn't know is that my leadership journey would correspond to my cancer journey. I was out of surgery 12 days before I was down to SF for retreat 1. The ropes course was a place where I hugely healed with my body (Sex type that I am, that was crutial), learning to trust it again. Retreat 2 - chemotherapy, learning to ask for help (creating from others). Retreat 3 - radiation. And Retreat 4 - when I was trying to integrate emotionally all that had happened physically for the past year. Without knowing you were doing it, you (and Rick and Elaine and the Corals) were my bedrock. You gave me a touchstone, and hope. If there is anyway I can do anything to return that to you, all you need to do is ask. I am here in body, heart, mind and spirit for you.
As you travel on this next stage of your journey, know that your circle is wide, very wide, and we are all here with loving, open arms.
My prayers for you will be fierce, loving and relentless.
Love to you, sweet angel,
Signy
Wednesday, August 24, 2005 12:31:00 PM
Hi Laura, not sure where you are right now but want you to know that I am thinking of and praying for you fiercely....Lots of love, Susan V.
Thursday, August 25, 2005 7:20:00 PM
Laura, I'm a 7-year breast cancer survivor and share your pain. Every year when I go for annual scans and tests, it brings back to the surface all the "old" feelings I'm sure you are now going through. Never never give up hope. And it appears you are following that advice. Life is precious and we often forget that by getting caught up in the small stuff. But you're the real hero and what you're doing is the big stuff. Best of luck. We're praying and pulling for you.
Friday, August 26, 2005 4:09:00 AM
Laura, all my positive energy is pointed your way...know that you have made your mark on this world of human beings and that you are always in the hearts and minds of so many. Glenda Daggert
Friday, August 26, 2005 5:42:00 AM
Hi Laura - You are always in my thoughts and I will continue, each day, to source positive and healing energy your way. I think back to our Earthquake retreat and see your deep blue penetrating eyes that are bright, dancing, and so full of life...keep dancing!! You are an amazing soul!! Live Strong and Live Well
I love you...Susan
Friday, August 26, 2005 12:01:00 PM
Laura, my dear friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time of challenge. As always, you are an inspiration. My favorite writings are by people who have been in extremity, and who share with others what they learn when the world sqeezes in upon them leaving room only for what matters. You have lived toward what matters, and have a gift for helping people to stay focused there. I marvel at how you continue to do this even in your time of extremity. May you receive the blessings you so richly deserve, and feel the peace that you have devoted years helping others to feel...
- Jim Ferrell
Friday, August 26, 2005 2:55:00 PM
Dear Laura:
Sorry to hear this news. But I know that you're very strong even facing such an incredible challenge. When I met you in Las Vegas in January, I knew what might happen to you, as I was a cancel patient a few years ago. I experienced the time that all my hair lost and depression that I might no be able to see 2008 Olympic game in Beijing. Compare to you, it's only a small challenge, as it took only about 6 months for me to fully recover, and no sign for any travel. I know the feeling as a cancel patient. But I was very impressed by your attitude, your energy and your liveliness during the T3 class.
I'm also so very much impressed by the Co-Active Coaching and Co-Active Leadership. It really changes me. I can feel the changes in my heart and in my behavior. Will continue to move towards that direction to become more valuable to my people.
It seems that it's so unfair, that more people hope to have your coach and help, while you have to leave. Do remember, wherever you are, and how you are, we are remembering you and praying for you.
Finally, wish all the best for you, and be strong to fight, never be defeated. Life is beautiful and stay alive is a great success. Take care.
Best Regards,
Li Jie
IBM Tower, Pacific Century Place
Beijing 100027, People's Republic of China
Saturday, August 27, 2005 9:47:00 AM
Laura, my friend, I am praying for you, sending you white light, and picturing you strong, well, and laughing. You are tough and resourceful, and have thrived through difficulty and chaos many times before. If there is anyone in the world who can beat the odds, it is you.
Love,
C.J.
Sunday, August 28, 2005 4:33:00 PM
Hi Laura,
As I read the cancer has moved to the liver, my thoughts were of my father. The journey of his illness and death has brought me here to you in more ways than I can count. My biggest and deepest gift from my father was not to take a moment for granted. It truly is the small things in life that give us life. It is the quiet moment I spend with a friend. Making dinner with my mother. Sitting on the porch with my dog. Noticing the colour of the sky at sunset. The shape and texture of the clouds. The way someone looks at you. The way someone feels. It's remarkable how it's the small and quiet moments that shape memories.
I feel blessed to know that at my age. I feel blessed to be with you. I can see your blue eyes and I am smiling right now. I can hear your voice in my thoughts...what is like to be over there with them for the sake of them? What if it was all that simple?
Thinking of you...holding you in my heart.
Parool.
Monday, August 29, 2005 8:42:00 AM
Dear Laura,
Today and every day, I'm sending you lots of white light, healing energy and much love.
Love, Hope
Monday, August 29, 2005 12:14:00 PM
Hey Laura and Judy
With being in Vancouver, how could I not come back to San Francisco and spend some time 'living well' with you. Its just a stepping stone away.
We will bring photos and music. See you in September....
love
Linda
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 8:07:00 AM
Laura, Loving you and sending circles of healing energy directly to you....you are surrounded and will be forever. Love, Tom and Peg
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 1:08:00 PM
Hi Laura,
You are so vital especially now as you say YES, YES, YES to every moment as it unfolds, sometimes joyously & sometimes difficult to bear. I am inspired by your courage, honesty, intelligence, appreciation & love for the life you have been given.
Now you take nothing for granted! Congratulations!
Robert L.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:00:00 PM
Dear Laura and Judy:
As you head to Brazil, I am sourcing healing, peace and miracles for you both. I notice that we were all supposed to be in ceremony this week and the universe had other plans. I am standng in your sacred circle, loving and praying for you both.
Judy, call when you can.
Love Lora
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:50:00 PM
Laura,
I'm just god-damned bummed to hear of the latest development of your journey with cancer.
I want to be helpful. While I'm sure you're doing all of the classic medical and alternative approaches to your treatment, I want to know if you know about Ambrotose, a nutriceutical product from Mannatech. This, more than anything, including my father's indomitable faith in a higher power, prolonged his life by 6 years, when he was given only about 6 months to live, baffling the doctors regularly.
Here is the Mannatech USA website: http://www.mannatech.com/default.asp?CountryCodeID=1&UN=shopnow&sMainMenu=Home&sMain2Menu=na&sSubMenu=na&sSubMenuItem=na&sSubMenu2Item=na&sSubMenu3Item=na
Within this website, there is a link to 'Wellness Management'. Here's the direct link: Ambrotose Complex: http://www.mannapages.com/sharethegift/PRDAmbrotose.asp?sMainMenu=ShopNow&sMain2Menu=Products&sSubMenu=Products&sSubMenuItem=WellnessManagement&sSubMenu2Item=PRDAmbrotose.asp&sSubMenu3Item=na&UN=shopnow
Perhaps you know all about Mannatech. If so, ignore this. Otherwise, please please read: Mannatech is a company that makes nutriceuticals. They are not just vitamins; they are supplements that are created with the highest scientific standards. Their benefits can be huge. Because they're not pharmaceuticals, the FDA doesn't like them. As a result of FDA regulations and state and US law, no nutritional or nutriceutical company can make any claims of a curative nature. If they did, they would be accused of trying to market pharmaceuticals without the necessary approval. The drug companies want to dominate the health market with manufactured pharmaceuticals. They are very threatened by other chemical--but using natural ingredients--approaches, like nutriceutical companies that absolutely have a curative function.
Now, while I know that you know what follows, it bears repeating. Another difference: pharmaceuticals are essentially drugs designed to relieve or eliminate specific symptoms. In a wholistic system, like your body, simply fixing the symptom is not the only nor necessarily the best way to go. Neutriceuticals engage the whole system so that the body itself can work to heal the necessary problems. Finally, neutriceuticals can be taken with any regular medications.
My dad--who lived 6 years longer than anyone thought was possible--did so because of his use of Ambrotose, a product of Mannatech. While I believe that his profound faith and strong relationship with God did much to support his longevity, I am confident that Ambrotose deserves a huge amount of credit.
He was convinced to try it (he'd been highly skeptical for months, while going rapidly down hill physically), when a friend of his with a heart condition had a stroke. He was in a semi-comatose state, on an IV, and the doctors had told the family that there was little else they could do and so they should call in the family to say 'good bye'. His wife, in a moment of great courage and secrecy, decided to give Ambrotose a try. She felt she had nothing to lose. And so, she took the Ambrotose (it comes in powder or capsule form), added the powder to water to create a mixture, and found some way to insert the mixture into her husband's IV.
In just a day or two, he regained consciousness, then re-gained his health and was much more active than he had been for years prior to his stroke. This man was a good friend of my dad's and he couldn't believe the difference in his friend, from when he saw him sometime shortly before his stroke, to after his stroke. My dad then started taking Ambrotose and the rest is history.
As I mentioned to you before, because Ambrotose is a nutriceutical, it works on the WHOLE body, not just a symptom-affected area. In un-scientific terms....bio-chemically, what it does is enhance the body's ability to communicate--and thus create healing--at the cellular level, through making the amino acids have a much more effective level of passing information from cell to cell. The body, with all of its amino acids working effectively, instead of just a small percentage of them working (which is what occurs in a typical American human body), is able to then really engage in the healing process more effectively.
And so, dear Laura, I send you tons of love, 5 trillion power of white light for healing, and a strong request that, if you are not now using Ambrotose, start now. My dad took something like 5 or more times the recommended dosage, with no ill effects, but I suggest you start moderately to begin with. I'd love it if you or someone who's in your corner, let me know what's happening on this front.
I love you, admire you, cherish you, and hold you as one of the brightest lights in my life. I've learned more from you than just about anyone else I've ever known.
Love,
Sam
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:12:00 PM
Laura Laura Laura - -
So many thoughts and feelings.A collage of images and emotions, in no particular order. Cascading...If anyone can find a whole new way to deal with "traveling" cancer, it's YOU! How perfect that you and Judy are traveling to find ways to deal iwth the traveling cancer within. I love that, once again, you refuse to be boxed in by well-established structures and prognoses. If they don't fit your dreams and needs, you go off to find a different way that is truer to you and to what you want from life...Showing all of us a different way of being, doing and going down a path that every one in three of us will experience. I am touched by your tough brilliant spirit even as you are vulnerable and unknowing about what you will meet up with next, even as you deal with the tough, unwelcome challenges of the cancer within.
My life is forever different, richer, juicier, changed because of you. I was not supposed to be a Dreamtime, and am eternally grateful that the Universe unfolded as perfectly as it did for me with my Leadership leaders...I got to see first hand how you have changed lives, opened souls, freed spirits, revealed the truths you see, admitted to failure and then kept on creating from nothing abnd everything, been brilliant without knowing it, showed us that intimacy can be found by letting others "into-me-see ", moved mountains with a simple but piercing question or challenge, demanded that our "wanters" be resurrected, been frustrated with our willingness at times to accept what "is" rather than choose the glorious stuff that can be if we dare to want it,laughed loudly, been dangerous, bold, stubborn, sexy, kitten-ish, ferocious, loving, tough, courageous, tender, irritating, insightful, one-of-a-kind, inspiring us by your demands of yourself, us and life.
As I read your words about metastasized cancer and think "oh, shit!", I'm also struck by waves of gratitude, love and healing for you. I'm so grateful to you and to the universe that has given, and keeps on giving,you to us. I'm grateful that you have opened yourself and your journey up to us. We're walking with you in spirit, fervently supporting and loving you and Judy as you continue your love story and life story together. We will keep seeing and holding you with love and health, and will keep seeing your inner fire burning strong as you quest for the cure. I am holding you tenderly, Laura, seeing you lean in,living the hell out of each moment, and drinking every drop that life offers - -Love, Heather ( Diddel)
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 7:45:00 PM
hey gorgeous :)...just got your message from andy denne...i am sending my presence to you and around you, sending my energy to propel you in your utter committment to live well and live strong...no room for doubt laura....i am here with you as you were for me during leadership...my committment to your journey now is as yours was for mine...solid, loving, fierce and tender...know that i am here and call on me for whatever you need...just see my face into front of you at the mother tree...and send it on!!!!
love
zoe
Thursday, September 01, 2005 3:41:00 AM
dear laura,
as you and judy are soon off to Brazil, i wish you both lottsa love & light on your pilgrimage of inner and outer healing.
i'm posting this reflection from Irma Bombeck not for you, but bloggers of life...
love,
robert
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
by Irma Bombeck
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance
in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's".. more "I'm sorry's"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.
Thursday, September 01, 2005 11:06:00 AM
Well Laura, so soon you will be on the road, and venturing ("adventuring?") into unknown territory. So many times a week I find myself thinking of you (and this is nothing new, nothing to do with the cancer coming back)! Sometimes it is as simple as hearing your voice in my voice as I coach a client. Many times I have wanted to hear the full story behind the bigger game model... I have to believe it's fascinating. And sometimes it's as I play my Bigger Game, and something about the model clicks for me, and sheds new light... And sometimes, I just wonder why, for what purpose? What is "He" or "She" or "life" trying to teach us now?
I think I have shared this with you, and I'll share it again here
Thursday, September 01, 2005 8:03:00 PM
Well, that was a premature submission!! Here is the "right brain vision" of my life from Balance class. I also wrote it 5 weeks after Dan was diagnosed with Stage 4 leukemia. I share it with you, because your spirit is throughout this poem. Because we are kindred spirits, on a shared journey, in so many ways...
If my life were a poem... it would be...
___________________________________
Life Calling
My life is a journey, destination unknown.
My path is revealed only as far as I can see,
Yet more often than not, I choose its direction.
I navigate my path thoughtfully,
with deliberate choices grounded in values
and guided by intuition.
Even when faced with unexpected circumstances,
I choose my path, by choosing my reaction.
I choose to live in love, optimism, faith, beauty, warmth.
I choose spontaneity, nature, deep conversations, dreams.
I choose passion, risk, change, color.
I choose light, music, texture, spice.
I laugh, I cry, I experience, I give.
I nurture myself to be strong.
Sometimes my path is clear and my journey is effortless.
I savor these times, gathering strength,
languishing in bounty.
On rare occasions, my path seems blocked,
weather clouds my vision and dampens my spirit.
I trudge on in faith,
overcoming obstacles, trusting the sky to clear.
Sometimes I seek temporary shelter
and wait out the storm.
I believe God nurtures me in ways I cannot fully understand.
His grace is at work within me, and He walks with me.
I am a beam of light and many choose to walk with me,
warmed by my love, nurtured by my strength,
trusting my integrity, enrolled by my spirit,
stretched by my pace, comforted by my touch.
I am blessed by their presence.
I am supported, I am loved.
I am thankful.
On certain segments of my journey,
I have chosen to follow others,
nurtured by their spirit and love,
Guided by their wisdom.
I am thankful.
I walk with increasing purpose,
as I reflect on whom I have become,
and how my journey has enriched me.
My need to help others choose their paths
becomes ever stronger,
like a calling.
I see possibilities ahead that are exciting.
Mountains to climb that are more challenging
than any behind me.
I will choose the climb that calls me,
perhaps joining with others
so we can forge a new path,
that becomes a lighted way for others
drawn to higher ground.
___________________________________
You are choosing your reaction - to Live Strong and Live Well. You are choosing fun, community, sharing, and you are choosing to play BIG. You are moving out of the "comfort zones" of your previous cancer journey. You are going to a healer. You are looking for new ways to overcome this disease. Perhaps this mountain didn't call you - but none the less, you are forging a new path, a lighted way for others, toward a higher ground in healing... Oh yes, it's a bigger game, and we are your allies...
Incredible love and hope, and healing prayers,
Melissa
Thursday, September 01, 2005 8:30:00 PM
Laura, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that your courage and power will lead you through your journey and inspire us all. Sending you healing ("refua shlema") and love. Sharon A. IBM Bigger Game Player.
Friday, September 02, 2005 9:26:00 AM
Dearest Laura,
My thoughts, prayers and most powerful energy is journeying with you in Brazil as you step into relationship with this challenge.
I have so much more that I want to spill on the page, and...no words can express what I feel for both you and Judy in this moment. Please simply receive the energy from me and so many who respect and admire you, and LIVE WELL!
With love,
Marita and Faith
Friday, September 02, 2005 4:55:00 PM
Laura...loving you in this moment.
Smiling and feeling you deep in my heart.
I surround you with light, love, healing and peace now and forever...love Parool.
Sunday, September 04, 2005 1:44:00 PM
Hello Laura, Many blessings to you and Judy, may your visit to John of God be fruitful and inspiring. We are your new neighbors in Sebastopol via Hawaii via Marin and via many mutual friends. Bill and I are available to you 24/7 for anything you and Judy need. Please call: 829-2070. We are living now on Grandview, not far from you. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Annah and Bill McCluskey
Monday, September 05, 2005 8:08:00 AM
Hi Laura,
I'm sorry to hear your news. Sorry because of all the stuff you will be facing, as you so eloquently described in your post. I firmly believe that we are never given challenges that are beyond our abilities, and I am sure you will rise to this challenge. You have always been, and are, a bringer of light, and I'm sure this challenge will allow you to bring yet more light into the world. I admire your courage.
The other night I heard this Rogers and Hammerstein song on TV which I'm sure you've heard, but here it is:
When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Love,
David
Monday, September 05, 2005 10:43:00 PM
Dear Laura:
What an inspiration - all of these beautiful notes from the beautiful people in your life - you know how to create! So now I pray that you are opening to the light and creating wellness for yourself - and with Judy at your side and your very big spiritual community I trust that you will find this wellness and I sense that you already are living well.
Community is so powerful, and In the spirit of community I want to share with you one of my favorite passages:
Imagine people waking and rising together and beginning by singing themselves - body, mind and spirit - into the day. and honoring each day as it dawns.
A new day needs to be honored.
People have always known that.
Didn't they chant at dawn in the sun temples of Peru?
And leap and sway to Aztec flutes in Mexico?
And drum sunrise songs in the Congo?
And ring a thousand small gold bells in China?
With much love and affection, Laura,
Mary
Tuesday, September 06, 2005 10:35:00 AM
Laura,
I hear your voice often
It rivals the turkeys
Thanks to you,
I am leaning into me
And finding
Me there
And I'm not helping and fixing anymore, I go over there first
And from that my daughter and I have designed a new alliance
And I'm seeing what is possible
How cool is that?
And I know that in the bigger space
What I send you will find you
And ...
Some of what I send is this;
My belief in you to be present in joy, in fear, in pain, in laughter, in faith, in beauty, in anger, in love, in sadness, in hope, in determination and in being human. To be present to the stars and the sun and the wind and the trees and the music. To be present to the you you've offered us that means our life.
And you know - some gobble gobble stuff
And I send you some feeling I'll call love and gratitude and a bit of bridge crossing energy all mixed up together - great soaring gobs of it
Jeanne
Tuesday, September 06, 2005 8:37:00 PM
Laura, Namaste'
I bet you are rushing to the end of message to see just who is writing. Hope it doesn't knock your socks off! We haven't seen each other in a very long time. It is Emily (Gildark) Blakely.
Laura, I don't know about you, but I am in shock. About Aug. 29 you came to my mind and as on other occasions, I wondered what Laura is up to these days? Well, I decided to do a simple search and was blown away by finding The Coaches website, seeing your picture load on my screen. As soon as I saw the top of the hair and forehead I knew it really was you! I was so excited.
I immediately sent an email to the website and have waited, until tonight when a reply came, giving the information to this blog site. I am so grateful to be able to talk to you. Your announcement to Family and Friends was another shock, I really wasn't recovered from the first one of simply finding you. Now I am convinced there was a reason you came to mind just when you did and I was able to connect.
There is much ground to cover, I'd say, so I won't take all the time on this first message to try to cover everything. I was totally intrigued by the work you are doing, and I am so very proud of all you have accomplished.
I am living in Sutherlin (small town), Oregon. Married to Clyde. My son, Dave, lives in Sutherlin as well. He just turned 32, hard to believe. I and my brother are caregivers for our mother, who will turn 89 in November. I don't know if you remember, but she was diagnosed with Parkinson in 1969 so has had a long road with that. She is total care, meaning we have to do everything for her, but she is easy to please and stays in good health other than the P.
Well, Laura, is that enough news from me for the time being? I loved seeing the pictures of you. You look great. Was that Leslie your sister??? I wouldn't have recognized her. Tell me how and I will put a pic of me next time. This is my first real Blog!
Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope this brings a real big smile to your face, if it doesn't knock you flat.
Love, Emily
ecblakely@cmspan.net
Tuesday, September 06, 2005 11:50:00 PM
hi laura,
i hope brazil is treating you well in so many different ways. i hope john is/was able to work his healing with you for your spine and liver, removing those pieces that really don't belong there, have come uninvited and we ask to leave you. your words you write resonant with me in many respects and i feel the living message that you speak. i feel i've wanted to have many conversations with you that don't involve carpentry or jobs, but rather consciousness and sustainable living, the things of mind and matter and mystery. i know you have tapped so many shadows lately and felt the dark that forbodes and scares. i feel there's a lot of that in all of us and we learn so very much about the impermanence and transience of life/death/life cycle through these interactions with the shadowself. i hope to see you soon after you return and hear what happened in brazil. may you and judy live the happiest and closest you ever have in the coming years... all my love, case
Wednesday, September 07, 2005 8:49:00 PM
Hey Laura:
Know that I am sending you healing energy, white light and positive thoughts to heal and to continue to call forth that which is best in you.
Having recently had yet another visit to "Club Med", aka the hospital, I am acutely aware that as much as we try to control things, ultimately we are limited in that attempt. Surrender (as opposed to acquiesce, give in, give up, etc.) has been key in my survival strategy. Face what is so and go from there. Whether one is in the process of living or dying the game is the same. What is also true is that we are alive until we're dead. As always, you are a wonderful model for raising the bar on living and life!
I want to second Sam's suggestion about taking a neutriceutical. Anything that works on whole body issues is bound to be helpful for healing and for creating strength to fight the cancer. While I have no particular experience of it myself, my intuition tells me that it can't hurt.
Also, should you want to explore any clinical trials, let me know and I will do the research for you. All I'll need is your path report and your treatment history to see what clinical trials you might qualify for. I have a friend who was on the edge of death from Leukemia and got into the Gleevec trial and she's been cancer free for two years now. Not everyone is so successful but there is always that possibility.
If there is anyone who is as committed and stubborn enough to lick this dread disease, it's you.
Keep up the good fight and relax into all the love that surrounds you. If the amount of love and positive change that you have initiated around the globe counts as points with the initiator of souls, you've certainly have a huge edge over cancer's score.
Much love and continued healing,
Judith
Thursday, September 08, 2005 3:30:00 PM
Dear Laura; Well, looks like you've received lots of love, light, good wishes, heart-felt emotions, etc. You said your mantra was more fun, more life, more often. Norman Cousins claimed that humor helped him cure his cancer so I'll give it a shot:
"Don't you wish that you could just give your emotions a day off?"
"Life is very deep, try and stay in the shallow end".
I'll send some more as soon as my brain wakes up. Love ya' Carver
Saturday, September 10, 2005 9:34:00 AM
Laura, dear friend,
I see what you are recieving now is a whole lot of love to swim in-- what good medicine! Please accept mine with all my heart and admiration for you as a strong and gifted woman---a person of amazing vitality and optimism. May it all contribute to your healing.
Much love, Maya
Saturday, September 10, 2005 11:02:00 AM
Dear Laura & Judy,
I sure hope this finds you healing sooooo quickly there in beautiful Brazil... basking in the light of John of God. I hear he is quite the miracle worker, so spare no miracles on you; that's an order!
I am so very touched in reading the messages from you, and from your community - wow! what love and deep feelings I feel as I read - tears too. Live Strong and Openheartedly... comes through so very beautifully.
In the Spirit of sharing my joys, I just returned from 5 restful days at Tahoe, watching the jays feed on peanuts and flying from branch to beautiful branch of the pine trees outside our window. The Lake was gloriously blue, reflecting the blue skies above...
One of the things I took along to read spoke to me exactly what I needed at this moment, and I'll share it here just in case you need to hear it too (I doubt it, but... - it's part of a much longer article)
"If a person keeps choosing to play the role of the entitled victim, time after time, it doesn't seem like a choice anymore. To them it becomes who they are.
"There is another way that can work. We speak about awakening. We can awaken to the fact that there is a choice that we are making, and that we could make a different choice. We could find that place in ourselves where we have chosen what spirit we will express... to be characterized by the spirit of the creator that we are... (so much so) that it hardly becomes a choice anymore. It is just being who we are.
"...if you're making choices to experience yourself as an entitled victim, you can always arrange the facts to back you up.... we've seen situations going down the drain, and we've seen things moving in a creative spiral. We should know with absolute certainty what creates each and where that place is in ourselves that is the point of decision that makes things go either down or up.
"That is the antidote, being true to ourselves --not true to our little selves, not true to our personality selves, but true to the creative spirit that is the reality of who we are." (all from David Karchere)
And, dear ones, you sure do have that creative Spirit, and know how to express it! So, keep Living Strong. You go, girls!
I love you both very much, and look forward to seeing you in October - your faces bright and shining with health!
Namaste, Joanie M.
Monday, September 12, 2005 2:55:00 PM
Hey Laura -
I'm thinking of you and sending my love and energy as you travel in Brazil. I'm looking forward to our chat on the 21st and intend to spend more time speaking about you than me!
Much love, Ted Bayer
Monday, September 12, 2005 3:46:00 PM
Hi Laura,
Adam is a 19 year old healer from Vancouver who healed Ronnie Hawkins from pancreatic cancer and his OWN mom from MS. Here is his webiste: www.dreamhealer.com. This is his visualization for cancer: Fire Visualization:
* Imagine intensely hot flames roaring throughout your body. The force of the fire rips the problem from its rooots.
* Focus on the area where the problem exists. Some people find it easier to be totally engulfed in flames.
* Feel the heat and see the problem turning to ashes right before your eyes.
* Incinerate it and watch it disintegrate. The ash blows away with the wind.
SEE the flames
FEEL the heat
HEAR the crackling
SMELL and TASTE the smoKe in the air
MAKE IT REAL
Monday, September 12, 2005 5:55:00 PM
Hey there Girly Girl,
Can you and Judla feel me thinking and loving you each day you are in Brazil? I keep trying to picture you in this new place, new country, changing, and being changed. Healing and being healed. This Blog is a good thing. I cannot possible know what you are experiencing in Brazil, but I try all the time to picture where you are, and what you are doing. I can't wait to sit at the Meadow House and listen to your stories, to your truth.
I read the postings here and I cry, crocodile tears. You know how the tears of joy are heavier, fuller, more round than the tears of despair? The despairing tears just flow down the cheek, while the tears of joy, emotional overwhelm, are fuller and just fall down the face? Well, when I read of all the prayers, light, energy, thoughts of healing, the acknowledgements of who you have been and what you have accomplished already in this lifetime, I cry crocodile tears.
We are so blessed by the people who love us, who hold our souls as true.
Its funny, I wonder that there is no way that you and Judy will not come back "changed", and will I still be okay in your esteem? Will you have seen the light of God so clearly that my blemishes and shortcomings will be glaring? Or maybe you will be gentle and just share with me new possibilities.
Either way, here we are, on an unbidden road:
"The Journey", by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
thought the whole house began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations --
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little, by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Loving you, Breeze
Monday, September 12, 2005 8:04:00 PM
Laura,
Just wanted to connect with you today and send my silent prayers for you and Judy on your Brazilian journey.
I so know you resist travelling, but sometimes there are journeys that we need to be on and obviously this one compelled you. So I wish you strength, and more importantly hope.
Its obvious from reading this blog that you are surrounded by a loving community and I know it is heart-warming and comforting for you, and as well for the rest of us. We do feel helpless at times and not sure the best way to support you - so I'm glad this is an avenue for that.
Brenda starts her chemo today and her journey as well. You have much to provide her in way of demonstrating strength and knowledge of her own abilities in the process.
Looking forward to hearing from you more and talking with you when you return. Big hugs xoxo Brenda Goehring
Tuesday, September 13, 2005 10:05:00 AM
Dear Laura,
Lora Banks told me of your request for information. I know of a young woman who had colon cancer spread to her liver and she is now cancer free. I contacted her to get any information that might be of help to you. She said she went to the Block Center in Illinois and saw an oncologist and nutritionist there early on. They helped her with diet, vitamins and supplements for her particular cancer cell. She is still taking the supplements. Their website is www.blockmd.com. She says that she ate not just to eat but to fight the cancer. She became a vegetarian, cut out dairy and sugar and quite a few other things. She also said she had a massage every week to release tension and walked everyday no matter how she felt during her chemo. She said that prayer for herself, friends and family was also very important. The traditional treatment was with Michael Sherman, in Walnut Creek and he worked with UCSF. She hopes this information will serve you and so do I.
You will be in my prayers,
Terri
Tuesday, September 13, 2005 3:10:00 PM
Laura and Judy:
Please read the info above from my sister-in-law Terri Holmes. You have asked for resources for treatment and here is one. Terri is in the health care business. I think she runs the MRI machines at a hospital in San Mateo. Anyway, read what she wrote.
Wow, how exotic, traveling to Brazil on your healing journey. I read your report Laura on John from God and I looked up his stuff on the web. How are you feeling? What is the impact on you? Do you believe in psychic surgery?
Jude - Congrats on your retirement. I am amazed at how smart you are girlfriend. And how is your healing journey?
I am off to Denver on Thursday for the second in the Systems Coaching series. I will meet with Burke and get the skinny on the latest CGT ceremony. Looking forward to more posts, more info.
Much love,
Lora
Tuesday, September 13, 2005 9:03:00 PM
Dear Laura,
I recognize the reflective space, the journey you are now on. The familiarity of it had me go back to my journal/notes which I kept online also, as Dan was going through his stem cell transplant.
Since you have shared (and thank you for doing so) the philosphies of the Spiritists, I want to share part of my spiritual journey. And cancer is a catalyst (a gulp) which can lead to the boldness of exploring spirituality in a deeply personal way. Or perhaps it simply wakes us up to our hunger to know "why", or "for the sake of what". So here goes...
Note that this was actually edited from a response to an e-mail from a friend and supporter with more traditional religious views than my own. That note was also a catalyst, as it sent me to a "no - not that" place, and had me begin to articulate my own evolving beliefs.... Perhaps we could start a new thread out here - "What do you believe...."
***********************************
I believe that God, or the Divine, or whatever we want to call Him or Her, reveals himself in many ways. For many, the Divine is revealed through the Bible, and through Jesus. I believe Jesus is one path, and I believe there are many. I believe the Buddhists, the Jewish, and all the various traditions have found their own paths to the Divine. These are traditions that seek to explain
the unknowable, and each has evolved through a tradition of seeking. Each is approximately right.
The parallels across the many faith traditions are what I believe in. That there is Divine energy, with many names, and they
are all referring to the same Divine energy and "being". And I must remind myself that each of us has our own personal path. (including those who do not believe in a "personal path" :-)
One thing that speaks to me is the 72 Angel tradition, as described in a recent book "Birth Angels" by Terah Cox. Terah, a friend of our mutual friend, Peggy Clarkson (a.k.a. Spirit), had the privilege of drawing from a recently excavated set of writings that had been literally walled up during the Spanish Inquisition. The 72 angel tradition is intriguing to me. It resonates with me. It is multi-traditional, cross-denominational. It allows each person to define a personal path. It happens to put a language around some of my own beliefs, perhaps in the same way that certain Bible passages speak to others. I also believe that there is a greater plan.
I also believe that we are all given certain gifts, and that it is our responsibility to use them well during this lifetime. I believe that these are God-given gifts, or gifts from the Divine, the source. And if those gifts include intelligence, and
perseverance, we should use them as much as we pray for divine intervention, because these are the gifts of God or the Divine within us. In any situation, if we dig deep enough, we can choose our response.
...this personal challenge with Dan, this battle with cancer, this ability to grow and be intentional in the face of cancer calls me forward to the next chapter in my life.
I have an emerging belief that I was chosen for this particular journey with Dan for a reason that has something to do with my life purpose, and my gifts, which I think go hand in hand. We are given tools for our own personal path. We can choose to develop and nurture these tools, or gifts. It is also our free will to ignore these gifts, and what they call us to do. I am very much a believer in free will.
I know through personal experience that it is possible to "find the gift" in cancer. And to also "share the gift". (Laura, this is what I see you doing this time! Thank you...) I know from my discussions with doctors and nurses, as well as with others who have cared for cancer patients that this "gift" is something that some find on their own, intuitively. But for so many others struggling with "why me", perhaps we can offer another perspective. We've been through "why me", and realized that - perhaps - "why me" is not the overriding question. Perhaps the question is "what now" or "how will I live more fully now that life has changed"? Perhaps the gift is having the permission of "cancer" to finally focus on what we have always wanted, but not pursued. Or to figure out what we truly hunger for!***********************************
Laura, you have so very many divine gifts, and you share them so generously, widely, and passionately. You "see" so deeply. You connect dots. So, for the sake of what has this been placed in your path? How is it evolving you? What's possible from here? So many questions... and my coaching certification supervisors have told me "slow down, one at a time, leave space" (and I smile, knowing the truth in that, and yet also knowing that you are already asking yourself these powerful questions at an even more breathtaking speed and frequency!).
I do feel very connected to you, and yet I miss you, and long for a deep conversation. So please continue to share, and let us evolve with you...
My love, our love, and great healing to you,
Melissa
Thursday, September 15, 2005 8:55:00 PM
Hello Dear Laura
I want to tell you that I think of you often and am sending you healing love and light on a daily basis, and you are also named in our church community prayers - know that a powerful network of prayer and healing is coming your way! So the good vibes are reaching you from Down Under too - can you feel it?!! Yes, this is a truly global healing experience!
You have had an extraordinary impact on my life and from me out to others that I touch with my work and living - I am forever grateful for your gifts to us all, and now you continue to lead us as you face this latest challenge in your life. Your spirit is indomitable, you are an inspiration to us all.
With my love and prayers - Jane Weber
Saturday, September 17, 2005 6:31:00 PM
Hello Laura,
Greetings from the sunny island of Singapore. Since I heard about your dance with cancer I have lift you up in prayers every time I attend daily mass. Laura, you have true courage and you are creative, resourceful and whole. You have touched my life with Co-Activity. And I am a better person because of you. I know the journey that you are going through now is tough and know that you are not alone and you have friends all over the world praying for you. I am with you in thought and sending healing through to you. I love you. I want you to live strong and live well and blast away all the cancer cells from your body.
Anna Leong
Sunday, September 18, 2005 7:44:00 AM
HI Laura and Judy-
i have been following your trip and more importantly your healing journey! I know you are healed-- i just know that for you.
A small reminder of inspiration. My Brother Keith was told he had 3 months to live 15 YEARS AGO by doctors in NYC. he has now been in remission for 13 years.
REMEMBER TO LIVE STRONG!
and so it is!
love you both deeply-
Rick Tamlyn
Sunday, September 18, 2005 5:25:00 PM
i've been visiting online and in my mind so so often. your story as it unfolds is full of diamonds...hard-earned diamonds, but diamonds nonetheless - you are seeing with new eyes and choosing to open, open, open and ask the good questions. always asking the good questions! thank you so much for inviting us to come be with you, support you and learn alongside you. there isn't anything i wouldn't do if i knew it would help or bring a smile. but all i have are words that can't capture all the healing and kindness i wish for you, so cyber hugs and kisses will have to do!
(photos to come)
still we share the meadow...
love always,
jenn
Sunday, September 18, 2005 6:37:00 PM
Hello, Laura and Judy. Thanks, Laura for your wisdom and pointing for our leader days time together. I can hardly imagine your not being there...so I'll just imagine you there...joyous, well, strong and, as always, 100% engaged!
I send love to you both along with my prayers. I know you hold one another well; please remember that we are all out here holding and loving you both, too.
Those are my words. Elaine
Monday, September 19, 2005 9:03:00 PM
Laura,
Thanks for your words of wisdom from someone who is dealing with allopathic care. Why is it that so many of us (I include myself in this), smart, vibrant people, go numb and dumb when it comes to Western medical care? Well, there are many reasons, and that's not the point of my blog posting. I just want to thank you for reminding us to remember what we know and to stay true to ourselves.
You are such a salty dog, that pic of you and salty Don is PERFECT! At Leader Days starting Wednesday, we will be smart, remember what we know, question EVERYTHING, and love bigger than what the rules allow. I figure you would like this, you old rule-breaker you.
I'll miss you at Leader Days. Yeah, you'll be there in spirit and blah blah blah, I'm just a bit crankier because I can't pat your REAL butt in person, I have to pat your SPIRIT butt instead, and it just ain't the same thing.
Love,
Jeff
Monday, September 19, 2005 9:37:00 PM
Dear Laura;
Welcome Home. Katie Bryron says "Whenever you argue with reality, you're wrong, but only 100% of the time". My promlem is, whenever I try and close the door on reality, it sneaks in the window. Peace, Carver
Wednesday, September 21, 2005 3:40:00 PM
Laura,
If it's true that life as we know it is the smallest part of who we really are, is only a moment in our journey, then you have used this moment with so much vibrancy and courage that it enflames the rest of us to let go of our fucking, short- sighted, neurotic tunnel vision and open to a much bigger game. If we only have a moment in this form, then let's burn with it and live it strong and well. If there is a message in the cancer, perhaps it is that it propells you to the depths of your heart and soul and then in your love for life and others, you take us with you. I choose to believe that you are playing the biggest game possible in the only way it COULD be played. Thankyou! YOU ARE the gift. My heart is with you every day holding you in my arms and prayers as tears run down my face and inspiration burns in my being.
Elana
Thursday, September 22, 2005 6:54:00 AM
Welcome Home! I've been reading your comments and feel so lucky to know what is happening on the inside of you. It is a gift that you share with us, your friends and I thank you for it. I am happy to hear of your journey and the magic that your time was filled with along with the silence. I sent Lauren off to school and John was up at Mendocino giving a course and the house was so silent. For a time I was thinking that I was feeling lonely because I am so used to having less time than I need to do what I want. But after a while I realized that I needed to re-define how I felt. It was spaciousness. That must seem like a limited commodity in your world right now. But what I really want to say is that it took me a while to recognize what I was really feeling. This life is a Big Game and each moment can be misread to make us live a much smaller existence. When I thought that I might be feeling lonely , I felt fear and when I re-defined it , I felt peace with what was. Perhaps this is part of how we Live Strong. Becoming alert to the really large part of our lives no matter what the circumstances bring. Kind of like finding the doorway in the darkroom, instead of feeling trapped. Anyway, I am sharing my love with you and imagining your perfect well-being right now! I am glad that you will be in Reno with the doc! Give Babs a hug from me. She is quite a lady. Love to you and Judy, Bonnie
Thursday, September 22, 2005 8:43:00 PM
Laura, love your looking at what living well is now, and realizing for you, it is about being your full, passionate, fiery, loving and sometimes angry self! I am curious, what's your most compelling purpose now? Is it still "they just don't know how..."?
I see you playing BIG, choosing to walk through the gulps, choosing huge gulps. And it's a bigger game. It's way bigger than living longer, isn't it? We want you here with us, leading us, challenging us, probing us for a very long time! Don't get me wrong there! And it's bigger than living longer...
My love to you, prayers, healing energy, and gratitude....
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,
Melissa
Saturday, September 24, 2005 4:41:00 AM
Well, Well, Well,
What a powerful way to share your journey with all of us...
Seeing you in my mind's eye, I see you fighting, laughing, questioning, eating, thinking,
May this moment be a moment you once again choose to live strong, live well,
Breathing deeply I send you love,
Hesteah
Sunday, September 25, 2005 7:58:00 PM
Parool Mehta said...
Laura,
Your voice has been ringing in my ears since R2. I am mezmerized by your strength, beauty, vulnerability and sheer sexiness. You inspire me to be more and to be me.
You are the mother of earthquakes. Of a 22 richter scale earthquake of healing, health, love and longevity behind you. Sourcing all that is well. Sourcing life, love, fun, joy and laughter - the kind that brings tears to your eyes, makes you want to go pee and hurts good in the belly.
I sit here holding you in my heart because one day we will be celebrating your recovery.
Much love...Parool
(originally posted 8/24/05 at 6:18a)
Monday, September 26, 2005 2:19:00 PM
Laura, Well it took THIS to get me to a blog. Yes, its me, the technically obsolete IBMer...committed to never blog. Its way too complicated - like taking pictures with a cell phone or doing something else with a blackberry besides making a pie! At least those were my excuses for being an AWOL friend. Ah, but I'm here and learning the blessing of the blog. In your notes I can hear your voice. Sometimes its quiet and reflective. Other times, not so much. :=)
With this note I join the cloud of friends and aquaintances who surround you with love like a favorite blanket. As I read the notes I kept saying, "yeah, me too!" I join Sam H. in acknowledging the wholy unique place you've created in my life and my learning. I share with Karen K-H the dance of the healthy LeLe. And I grow in my awareness of the possibilities of the universe through your reflections on John of God. I find more and more I don't even know what I don't know.
This is the part of the note where I wish you...what do I wish for? What I really wish for that next conversation we will have.
All I can do is to pray for you what I pray for myself...to work hard, to play hard, to laugh out loud until it hurts. And to live every day as though its the greatest gift you've ever been given. You have my love and my prayers. I'm part of the cloud and I love you, Sara Smith ssmith1@us.ibm.com
Monday, September 26, 2005 2:57:00 PM
Laura,
I want you to know that you continue to be in my heart, my prayers and I continue to source that the cancer leaves your body. I believe so much in the positive energy that not only is being sent your way, but that you feel in your own heart. My aunt was diagnosed with liver cancer 15 years ago and was told that she had 6 months. She just celebrated her 80th birthday!!!
I want you to know how much you have touched my heart and my life and how much better my life is now because of you and living a coactive life! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...
Stacy Gorin
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 11:05:00 AM
Dear Laura:
You have been in my thoughts very often these past days. I asked for your e-mail and was directed to this site. Maybe you are reading this from that internet cafe next to the juice and tea bar in Brazil. I was in Brazil last March with my mom visiting the same healer as you. The long and short of it is I wish only the best life has to offer you. I know the learning can come in some pretty uncomfortable and challenging circumstances. Please know from me that you are in my prayers, thoughts and I look forward to continue to work with you on the course. I will be holding you in my toughts as you bask in the current room and crystal baths.
Love, Don Schramm
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 3:32:00 PM
Hi, Laura. So...past your surgery date and Judy's birthday..so only belated wishes are possible. And belated counts...picture love just hanging there in time so every time you think of that experience (now slightly past)you are caressed by the energy of it.
Leader Days were wonderful...you were missed hugely, and loved, and prayed over and probably your name was even taken in vain a couple times!
Thinking of you... ej
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 5:34:00 PM
Dear Laura:
I can't sleep so I'm working on our workshop. I'm thinking of you, Laura, right now as I write out the activities.
Your post about kindness has stayed with me and draws me to this part of a prayer for caregivers that I have stapled to my wall. (I live in a log home, so I can staple away, no problem.)
"Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light, for one another when the darkness falls."
I think of that a lot. All of us will take your turn, share your road, your initiation. I know that in your posts you have been (with great kindness) pointing to this for us.
Holly MB in an earlier post articulated something that I feel: I want to be closer to you, intended to call you after R2, and let myself feel put off by this cancer. But not tonight.
Love: Jeanne C
jeanne@kestrelhealthinfo.com
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 12:55:00 AM
Laura
I’m not sure what to write so I’m not going to think but just write. I have read your blog and your notes about your journey on the long and windy road, through the ups and downs, the straight and winding, the strange and familiar, and I am so moved by your honesty and your courage. I read this poem and thought of you:
You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
Love what it loves
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you about mine
Meanwhile the world goes on
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
Are moving across the landscapes
Over the prairies and the deep trees.
The mountains and the rivers
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
Are heading home again
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely
The world offers itself to your imagination
Calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
Over and over announcing your place
In the family of things
By Mary Oliver
I am holding you in my thoughts, sending bright healing energy and love to you and walking beside you with my hand on your back. Can you hear my orchestra? I hope so. Love B:}
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 11:53:00 AM
Laura,
I'm so glad that you have written down your thoughts on this journey. Reading them helps to take the strangeness out of your reality and give it a voice. That means so much! My mother died of cancer when I was 24 so it is a real thing to me. Unfortunately, I was not privvy to her thoughts choosing instead to handle the whole process by denying it. Now you have given us another gift - the one of your private thoughts while sitting with cancer yourself. Somehow there's a peace about it all when I read your words.
I send you my love, my support, my warmth and anything else that might be useful. And, can't wait to see you in November.
All my love,
Faith Curtis
faithcurtis@comcast.net
2:43 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2005 7:16:00 AM
Elana said...
Laura,
Just letting you know that my love and healing prayers surround you daily. Thankyou for sharing your journey with us. It'an enormous gift and keeps our hearts and spirits so very connected to yours.
Much love,
Elana
7:34 AM
Thursday, September 29, 2005 7:59:00 AM
Hello Divine One,
I hope today is a good day for you. No, I hope today is the best day that you've had in months!
I just finished crying after reading your words on kindness. Through some workshops I've taken from a place called CTI I've learned that I am here to 'inspire kindness' and I question all the time how do I fully do this even when I am feeling not feeling so kind toward others or feel others are not being so kind toward me. I, too, have come to learn it is simply 'seeing' another.
I heard one time there is a country in Africa whose people, when greet each other, instead of asking "How Are You?", (and not really waiting or wanting to hear the answer, like we sometimes do), they say "I see you."
When I think of the impact of this simple statement "I see you" on another human being, and when I think of having someone say this to me, it simply takes my breath away. Like receiving a rose tatoo from a technician. I imagine a world where we say 'I see you' to each other. Simple Beauty...I embrace Einstein's principle that everything should be as simple as possible and no simpler.
Your writing also reminded me of a poem by Virginia Satir titled Making Contact
I believe
The greatest gift
I can conceive of having
from anyone
is
to be seen by them,
heard by them,
to be understood
and
touched by them.
The greatest gift
I can give
is
to see, hear, understand
and to touch
another person.
When this is done
I feel
contact has been made.
Laura, I see you. And because of you and your words, today I will tell someone something gentle, or loving, or acknowledging them. I will tell someone how I see them, and care about them. I will do something kind.
Loving you, Pat O
Thursday, September 29, 2005 11:49:00 AM
Laura,
I just received the link to your blog. I read all your notes at once and I feel so happy that I can be part of your journey. I have been thinking of you every day since R2, sending you earthquake energy and was wonderung how you felt. I am stunned by your strength. Even in this most challenging time you are 100%. 'Live strong' - that is you. I am grateful and blessed to know you and to have you as my leader.
Love,
Ute, an earthquake
Friday, September 30, 2005 9:05:00 AM
Dear Laura and Judy:
Sometimes I don't know how I know things but, I just do. And when I read about the liver spot being too small for the surgery, I knew that was a good sign. Of course, I read what you said Laura, boo hoo or hooray and it is most certainly a hooray.
And I suspect (and think I know) the power of intention and prayer and perhaps psychic surgery by John of God are at work in that body of yours. I see so many sending you prayers and healing energy and I remember White Eagle saying "pray for the healing not for the cure."
And..... the healing may very well be the cure. Why not? I hear the evidence of some things not so good, spots, growing tumors, 10%. Yet I am sensing much healing here and I know the lack of growth in the liver spot is the salient sign. Let us hang our hopes here in the days of waiting and see where that takes us.
Miss Judy, I am thinking of you and how precious your support and presence must be to your beloved Laura in these days. Sending you much love, many blessings, and once again, do call when you catch your breath and let's catch up.
Love to you both,
Lora
lora@TheCoachApproach.net
Friday, September 30, 2005 6:17:00 PM
Dear Laura,
Every time I tune in to your blog I find myself in tears. I am so deeply touched by your expression of what is going on, by your deep, deep looking, listening and truth-telling. You have opened so very very much over these past few years and, omigosh, recent months! And I wonder how Jude is doing through all this... I guess I've been a bit afraid to call, not knowing what to say and feeling a bit embarassed and ashamed about that... knowing that you both have a lot of support, and, well, would I have anything to add?
I'm really happy your trip to Brazil went so well... that is an awesome journey. I've heard nothing but praises about John of God's healing abilities, and know that they are working well on you, too! I am so very far from you all, sitting here at my partner Jack's friend's guest house (Vera's) in Kailua, Oahu enjoying the warm, sticky breeze (me sticky, I guess, not the breeze). The rains were fierce this morning; a threatened hurricane downgraded to a "tropical depression" so we can be thankful for that! As for sharing my joy, we have had a couple of beautiful hikes through rainforests here... and luscious swims in the ocean (one was a bit bumpy but who cares.) I feel like a school kid taking photo after photo of the beautiful flowers and birds. As if we didn't have any at home to love! It's also been really sweet being with Jack, lazing around the house doing a bit of email and stuff... and even watching TV. I couldn't believe all the stuff I missed in the 60's, that they showed in the PBS special about it last night. How the ground was laid there for so many of the things that are going on today in the news. Lots of pauses for thought! There really is some good stuff on TV from time to time.
I do appreciate the challenges you mentioned about dealing with the medical establishments! I think back on the challenges my cousins had when daughter gave father a piece of her liver in a transplant... amazing family journey! and they are both doing so well a year+ later. His wife, too, after a double mastectomy several years ago...They both have medical backgrounds and know a lot about cancer, livers and stuff, if you would like to talk to someone really knowledgeable. I definitely believe in miracles, and that God(dess) guides us when we get out of the way... with far greater wisdom than I could come up with. I wish you vast, healing miracles...
I talked with Shekinah earlier, and am very much looking forward to the big celebration of her and Jude. They sure do deserve it! I planned my trip so I'd be back in time... I also really look forward to seeing you and giving you a toast... you are quite an incredible inspiration.
I guess I'll close now... with love and wishes of living strong: I love what you say about that. And, please wish Judla a belated happy birthday! See you soon, Joanie
joanie@pathwaystopeace.org
Friday, September 30, 2005 6:53:00 PM
Hi Laura
Did I tell you I was taking part in the Worlds Largest Coffee Morning(with coffee morning events happening all around the UK)? Well it was Friday and I made a real effort to make it a 'cool' coffee morning event - and it really was, and we raised some good money for cancer relief.
And I noticed something along the way. It couldn't be just any old coffee morning, it had to be a 'cool' one (in my eyes).
I realised that when asking people to give up their time, travel some distance, make a donation for cancer relief - I felt I had to make it worth their while.It was hard asking for something without giving something back in return. This asking for what you want/need stuff can be a bit of a stretch.
And it made me wonder how it is for you at the moment with asking for what you want/need????
Getting back to the Coffee Morning. We created some great energy that morning with sharing summer pics, swapping good books, telling life stories and eating Green and Blacks chocolate (it was a delight).
My story was about my friend in Sebastopol who is living strong and continuing to be an inspiration. You may have experienced a cosmic wrench as you took centre stage for your humanness whilst reminding us of ours. What better way to use your time :-).
Please keep asking for what you want/need. It may not show up in the way you expect, but it will show up.
with much love
Linda
Sunday, October 02, 2005 11:01:00 AM
Dear Laura:
Tomorrow, Elana and I co-lead our Earthquake workshop, "Living in the Presence of Mystery: A workshop for people touched by life-altering illness."
We have 12 attendees; the energy of workshop is powerful already.
Pauline and Jim are joining us. Please know that we'll be sending the healing energy/merit of the day to you. Nothing to do; we're holding you.
Love: Jeanne Cunningham
jeanne@kestrelhealthinfo.com
Wednesday, October 05, 2005 4:39:00 AM
Hello my friend,
Tried to reach you through this blog to see how things went in Reno. Can't wait to hear. The days have been exquisite here in Mill Valley although the earthquakes and floods and hurricanes are that much more difficult to comprehend. Today I heard from Martin Prachtel that New Orleans is considered the vulva of the US and that we have been throwing our toxins into her for a long time and changing her form(the levies) that the hungry spirits have called for something more in the form of the hurricane. I also heard someone call the hurricane the Goddess Katrina. Its amazing how we can format information so differently. I hope that the information that is coming your way brings a clarity for you. Many blessings, Bonnie
Saturday, October 08, 2005 8:36:00 PM
Laura,
It is a bleak, damp fall morning and I prepare to go out and do some last work with the pear trees before winter sets in. I paused to read your latest posting and stopped because now there is something I must do before I go further.
I am reminded by your committment to feed your body only organic, nourishing healthy food that the thoughts we feed our minds do the same thing. I think of how much hunger/passion it takes to make the choice to live well and stay with it. And that at times it seems to me as if it is the biggest battle, swimming upstream against a powerful, raging current.
And then I read or hear something, like your words, and I have to laugh, or cry, because I realize I have I've become attached to the struggle and lost sight of what I wanted. Of course all of it is there, all the time.
I go to Germany next week to do the workshop with Simone, then to the Bigger Game at the end of October and back to R3 in November. It seems amazing that I go to these places and do these things that still my thoughts go with me that I have in the pear orchard.
Laura, I often think of you and that makes my thoughts bigger.
And what I stop to do right now is to look at what I am seeing and see the organic beauty that is there and then that is what I take with me everywhere.
And more of course- you know - gobble gobble stuff
Love Jeanne B
Tuesday, October 11, 2005 6:37:00 AM
Hi Laura,
I thought you'd like to know that your powerful question of...'what are you waiting for?' has found it's way into my work culture. I asked someone here that question in a personal moment and he was compelled by those words. He has embraced them as a 'mantra' for initiating change...what are we waiting for?
I smile as I write this, wondering what will happen when he begins to ask that question over and over again to the various players. I smile wondering what their reaction will be...what change will occur however subtle...what the impact will be. I smile because it has Laura written all over it. Love having you here.
Much love...Parool.
Friday, October 14, 2005 8:19:00 AM
When I read this quote, I thought of you...
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I am with you kid Let's go!'
--Maya Angelou
Love...P.
Monday, October 17, 2005 6:06:00 AM
Laura,
I felt the magic at the lake. It brought tears to my eyes knowing and experiencing it through you.
I am mezmerized by how much courage and energy your healing involves.
As for the question...how could I not ask it? It reverberates in my heart and soul. I ask myself this question to source what I want and more importantly who I want to be in any given moment. I've taken some pretty big leaps and I must admit, they haven't always been how I thought it be. Henry said, hope your heart breaks everyday...well, the man got his wish. I'm not sure I like it some days and I am smiling as I write this...big. It sure does feel alive though.
Love Parool
Monday, October 17, 2005 10:45:00 AM
10/18
Hello Laura! Nothing much to say here tonight, other than thank you for being here, and continuing to share this journey. I am wondering about the system, what you are uncovering about that conceptually... I imagine you having "aha" moments, and maybe even formulating your learnings back into the BG model, or creating whole new conceptual models. Playing with the really big questions, like what is the purpose of this earthly life? And then what?! If there is such a thing as time (because if not, I guess "then and now" are irrelevant!!).
And maybe it's all about love, and not so very much else, because that is actually huge! If so, you are basking in what it's all about, and you're one of the biggest nurturers of love for fellow humans that I know.
So here's to love, to and from, in this space, in our hearts, spilling out in loving glances, words, touches, prayers, intentions, thoughts. And also to "tough love", to authenticity, to passionate outbursts, to mistakes, to healing.
My love to you,
Melissa O
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:57:00 PM
10/18
Hello Laura! Nothing much to say here tonight, other than thank you for being here, and continuing to share this journey. I am wondering about the system, what you are uncovering about that conceptually... I imagine you having "aha" moments, and maybe even formulating your learnings back into the BG model, or creating whole new conceptual models. Playing with the really big questions, like what is the purpose of this earthly life? And then what?! If there is such a thing as time (because if not, I guess "then and now" are irrelevant!!).
And maybe it's all about love, and not so very much else, because that is actually huge! If so, you are basking in what it's all about, and you're one of the biggest nurturers of love for fellow humans that I know.
So here's to love, to and from, in this space, in our hearts, spilling out in loving glances, words, touches, prayers, intentions, thoughts. And also to "tough love", to authenticity, to passionate outbursts, to mistakes, to healing.
My love to you,
Melissa O
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:57:00 PM
Hey dear Laura,
Here's your song, custom made for you...
To the tune of "LOVE was made for you and me" (or something like that, just go
with it :-) The words in parens should be sung like a quick rap.
LAURA
"L" is for the way you Love so much (and Laugh, Look, Lean in, Lean on, Listen, Learn
and Lure...)
"A" for Always having a fierce and gentle touch (and Advocating, Appreciating,
Actionating, Astonishating and Awesomating)
"U" for being Ultimately super, savvy, loving and a challenging lady (and
Understanding, Upstanding, Undertaking challenge making, Undaunted, never
haunted - oh yeah!)
"R" for Rigor expecting, calling forth and appreciating with such vigor and no
rejecting (and Rich, Razzy, Rallying, Regenerative, Right ;-), and Rightous)
"A" for All the things you bring to all those leadership rings
"A" for Asking us to do such hard and wonderful things
"A" for "yes, Anding" all and helping us meet and make better calls
"A" for Action now - even if we don't know how!!!
That is Laura, although only a brief overview.
She's all these things and so much more, this is so true...
She's a special lady, love her so much it could make you crazy,
She's a fighting one, she won't be ever underdone...
Thank you Laura for the gifts you bring
They're so much better than 5,000 diamond rings
You're a gift you know, all that magic it just makes you glow,
Laura, Happy Birthday to you (and many many many more...)
Laura, Happy Birhtday to you (and even more after that...)
Laura, Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Love you Laura, keep on trekking!
Hugs, Anese
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 2:25:00 PM
Laura -
It has been a very long time since I have posted here, but that does not mean that you have not been in my thoughts, prayers, and dreams.
I am still awe-inspired by your courageousness and spirit, having just read through all your postings, and am glad that your sometimes good/sometimes bad tenacity seems to be serving you well, so far, in this adventure.
Words seem so inadequate to convey what I feel and wish for you. I desparately would love to effect some sort of tangible improvement in your plight, yet am not sure that I am equipped to do that. I offer you and Judy love and support in whatever form you need that to manifest. Just let me know....
In the meantime, know that you are in my heart and our aquaintance is a blessing on my soul.
Love,
Roberta
Monday, October 24, 2005 4:52:00 PM
Laura,
We haven't heard from you in a few days......Just wondering where you're at right now.
I've re-read your messages at least three times and I'm hungry for more; for more of you. I realize that there are lots of others who would like that too. Its OK, we can share. We want to share you.
Love, Pauline
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 9:39:00 AM
Hi Laura,
it was my pleasure meeting you in Armonk in January this year. As much as I associate you with The Bigger Game, I can fully understand how big a game you have been playing with your health condition.
My father did not play it big, so his cancer got the "bigger" of him instead. He battled with it for 2 years.
You are a bigger game player in your own rights, so nothing gets bigger than you, not even cancer.
There are still many people in this world waiting for you to inspire, and so you will, I am sure.
Thank you, my best wishes for you.
Roy Chan
IBM Singapore
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:25:00 PM
Hi Laura,
I have really enjoyed checking in on you each day via the "Blog". I am so excited that your journey has delivered you to walking in nature and enjoying the weather...love that....and I know you do too!
Sending you all my love via the "Blog"
0X
laura h.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:46:00 AM
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