Welcome to Laura's Blog, facilitated by her friends and family. We invite you to continue to honor Laura's life and her impact on you by posting stories, memories and messages for Judy and our community. [Scroll down to the end for directions on posting messages]

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Personal Notes to Laura: July - September 2006

Visit this section to view personal notes and expressions to Laura made from July 2006 through September 2006.


Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Thinking of you on this Beautifully, clear Friday morning in Alameda. I woke up to a blue sky, no fog, and I just wanted to wish you a glorious day.

May you Be Happy and Content,

Morning Poem by Mary Oliver

Every morning,
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches -
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead -
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging -

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted -

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have every dared to pray.

Love and Blessings,


Friday, July 07, 2006 9:57:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi Laura,

Welcome BACK... Great hearing from you on the blog and hearing how ALIVE and FULL you sound. It makes me jump for Joy. What a special gift you and the Otters are for one another.

There is celebration in this household also, as Clive and I finally got the toilet out of the living room and where it is suppose to be in the bathroom. As we are remodeling, it has been there for awhile and this weekend was the change over. I had my first visit to our new bathroom, what a thrill. Now that is a case for celebration.

I hope you and Judy are enjoying this blissful day. Clive and I took the morning and did some lovely hiking in Berkeley. It was just perfect to take a few hours and get some sunshine and a hit of the Mother. She is always there for us, and has so much to offer when I am awake and notice.

So my friend Laura, I am sending you lots of love and good feelings for this Sunday afternoon. I hope the Otter energy carries you forward wih much healing and joy of life.

May you have many moments of delight and wonder,
May you be healthy and strong
May your life unfold with ease and grace,

Love and Blessings,


Sunday, July 09, 2006 5:02:00 PM

Blogger Jon Benfer said...


So glad to hear you had a blast at Leadership and got filled up! Wishing you an easy road ahead and lots of fight when it's needed!


Monday, July 10, 2006 5:56:00 AM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...


Hi. It's been a while since I posted. I thought about you a lot during your time at the MT. I wondered how you were doing and how you were feeling. It sounds like you were *very* much held. I am glad.

Last week, I was on vacation and spent a lot of time bringing beauty & order to our home (esp. the basement) and the barn. What a lot of junk! Going, going, gone.

I grew broccoli for the first time. It seemed like the most amazing miracle. I can't tell you how many times I walked to the garden just to look at them! We ate the first bunch tonight for dinner (tuna mac salad, morningstar farm corn dogs and broccoli). I brought my juicer up from the basement and have been experimenting with some recipes. I hope you can say more about juicing and veggies at some later post.

Here's the link to an interesting new blog from a good storyteller, a new leader and someone you know. Enjoy!


Love: Jeanne C

Monday, July 10, 2006 6:31:00 PM

Anonymous Linda Schnabel said...

Originally posted Monday, July 10, 2006 10:54:30 AM

Dear Laura,

I met Alexis Phillips in Toronto this weekend. We were two of the four ORSC assistants. Alexis told me about your current battle with cancer and pointed me to your blog as a source of solace and encouragement. I'm grateful for her recommendation! You see, my incredibly healthy and robust husband received diagnosis in February of stomach cancer and our lives have taken an about-turn we could never have imagined.

Yet, somewhere between panic and disbelief, new and welcome leadership skills have begun to emerge as we edge our way along this rather tenuous path that is anything but a straight line. As primary caregiver, a privileged opportunity is extended to demonstrate these newly aquired skills each time a call arises to "step into darkness" again -- such as when a new sympton develops or a new protocol is prescribed or a new emotion must be faced. It's not always easy to take these steps but I'm learning, along with my dear partner, that a solid foothold seems to materialize when we least believe it will.

Please accept our heartfelt encouragement and support. And a thousand thanks for the incredible insight that you share in this remarkable site.

Linda Schnabel

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:16:00 AM

Anonymous Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello dear one:

How wonderful to read your post about our fabulous "Ottahs".

They really are a wonderful bunch. . .been loving surfing their email waves.

It was a pure joy to dance with you sweetie. ..my favorite thing in the world.

Can't wait until October!!!

Love you,


Tuesday, July 11, 2006 10:47:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

Our Breville juicer arrived this week. We are loving it...a toast to You!!


Sharna & Kim

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:11:00 PM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

I'll share with you a koan I made up to deal with my own anxiety/negative thoughts. It is:

What is the sound of the other shoe never dropping?

One thing that I like about it is that it makes me laugh. But actually, the best thing is that, in my deepest heart, I know that I *do* know the sound of the other shoe not dropping. Maybe this "koan" will help you in the dark part of the night.

THANK YOU for the vegetable/protein info. I will get that book and look forward to hearing more. Last night I had mashed turnips from my garden, with a cup of rosemary butternut squash soup (with a blob of cottage cheese in it...strange but true) and salad from my garden.

Laura, I will be sending extra healing, peaceful thoughts to you this weekend...

Love: Jeanne C

Friday, July 14, 2006 3:51:00 PM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hi, Dear Laura -
It's turing out to be a busy summer with swimming lessons, drama lessons, nature summer school and other goodies for the kids. Busy, busy, busy little bees. And in the midst of our busy-ness, I paused today to ponder the 1st anniversary of my sweet Daddy's death. And I've been in a funk all day, as have been my siblings and mother. It's hard to believe he's been gone a whole year...it seems like yesterday that I was kissing his warm cheek and hugging him tightly. I can hardly wait to see him again. And I alos pondered that this week my best friend celebrated 5 years of being free from cancer. What a blessing that is.

And life goes on for all of us.

I hope and pray that you continue to heal and live fully. Those are my wishes for you at the moment.

Lots of Love, Maria Garza-Lennon

Friday, July 14, 2006 8:59:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Day Laura!

It was great to hear what you love about leadership. It was the first time I read something about leadership that was so clear about what it's all about. The Otters will have fun...they are lovely creatures.

You are a constant reminder of how important food is...this after a weekend of food poisoning and gastro intestinal infection...not fun!

I want to read the book and the one thing that is holding me back is will it force me to transform what I do and thus make 'eating' something that seperates rather than unites...something for me to ponder as I go out and order the book :).

Wishing you much joy...laughter...love Parool

Monday, July 17, 2006 8:26:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Howdy Laura,

Hope you are enjoying this sunshine, maybe a little too hot today, but lots of good Vitamin D.

I was up your way this weekend, the coven had a 50th Birthday Celebration at Maya's for our Sister Jill. We had a blast, and enjoyed one another and I even got to see Judy at the flea market on Sunday. I was with a number of other folks and we had to get back to the bay on Sunday so we did not give you a buzz, but we were sending you vibrations of love and good thoughts for your healing.

I look forward to seeing you this week and doing a little celebratio of Life and another wonderful Birthday.celebration for Bev.

Glad you are still feeling pretty good and Judy tells me you are hanging out in the garden these days soaking up the energy from Mother Nature ... I am sure that is part of the healing.

So sweet lady, sending love, hugs, blessings and joy until I can hug you in person.

Love and Light,


Monday, July 17, 2006 5:45:00 PM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

I've been reflecting a bit on the "juice,veggies,fruit" post of yours. I have had rheumatoid arthritis for almost 20 years and had a heart attack two and a half years ago. My doctor (western medicine/but also interested in alternatives) has suggested that I try to eat in a way that cuts down on inflammation in my body. Here's what that means to him: No wheat, no dairy, no red meat, cut out most sugar, no alchohol. When he started to talk about my coffee...I said "No way". :)
So, for the most part, I have given up wheat, red meat, and alchohol. Still working on the dairy. I'm eating alot more vegetables and fish. And, I'm feeling better. The thing I noticed right away, is that my hands and feet are not swollen anymore. I'm also sleeping better.
I obviously have a body and system that gets inflammed easily. The hope is that I will be able to stop taking so many medications. And you know what? I'm thinking that it might be worth it.
I'm about to sit down to salmon and asparagus...yum!
I think of you lots---drove by your place yesterday on the way to the Mother Tree.

Be well,

Monday, July 17, 2006 7:38:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara Swanston said...

Dear Laura

Thank you for this blog and sharing yourself with us. Each time I come here I am reminded how precious life is. To be ALIVE no matter what twists and unexpected obstacles appear on the path.

My daughter has come to Vancouver to work over the summer. Her home is LA but she heard there was lots of film work here and she has been working a lot. It is such a joy to have her here. On Sundays we walk the dogs in a nearby forest park - oh so lovely - saw an owl eating a mouse or something the other morning, then off to the local farmer's market to buy gorgeous organic produce and sheep cheese.

We saw Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, and we were so moved and inspired to do more to save our beautiful planet.

You are in my heart, Laura, and silver energy is flowing to you. Love B:}

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:23:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Hi Laura,

I just did an oops, and posted to the wrong thread. I will repost here!

Hi Laura! Quick post from the road. Hope to hear good news from you soon from your tests, appointments, and whatever actions you decide to pursue in your very intentional fight.

Much love,


Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:36:00 AM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

I'm here and saying hello.

My image of you sitting and walking in your gardens is now firmly fixed.

XO Jeanne C

Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:51:00 AM

Blogger Jon Benfer said...


I will be thinking of you, saying prayers, and wishing you peace and healing over the coming weeks. I will also call on my community to do so as we gather for ten days in sanctuary to create more peace and more healing in the world. Thanks for the reminder of how these two are intertwined. Cheering you on for each minute of those IVs and imagining each drip is forming a cool mountain stream that washes away cancer, toxins, and all else that doesn't serve.


Friday, July 21, 2006 1:37:00 AM

Anonymous Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello dear Laura:

Just dropping by the bog before I start my day. I'm glad I did. . .instinctively, I"ve been feeling the energy building. The make or break time.

Know that I am praying for you every morning. . . I have a picture of you on my altar along with other who I'm wanting to remember each morning. . . Boaz, Raed and the Medicine Wolves. My dad. Eileen Kozel.

It is a gift to ME to send prayers and well wishes to these I love. It fills me and starts my day in a place of wholeness. Thank you.

I've been so sad lately by the state of things. Soldiering on as I do . . .and. . .just sad.

And it is a glorious day at Dillon Beach. I have you to love and to care about. I get to read your bog about how I should "Eat my vegetable". And I get to tell you that I have.

To love and be loved. .. .that makes the state of anything feel bearable. It balances out that which is hard for me in the world. So thank you for that too.

I missed being with you and the A team like crazy!



Friday, July 21, 2006 9:41:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura:

The news does not seem to be good and I sense through your postings a subdueness, if you will. And, you are accepting the fact that camping is out and you will be losing some of your freedom. You are in my prayers, my dearest Laura. I'm sure you know about the power of prayer even anonymous prayer. I will write your name in our prayer book at church this Sunday. There'll be about 500 people you'll never ever meet praying for you.

Love, Pauline

Friday, July 21, 2006 4:49:00 PM

Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hey Babe --

I loved reading your description of what leadership is all about... hard to put into words, but boy you did a splendid job...

Your posts also reminded and jogged me to get back to reading the China study... which I started and then put down a month or so ago... so, back I go. It is so important...

I just want you to know thatI think of you every day, you and Judy are in my heart.

Sending love and hugs,


Friday, July 21, 2006 8:25:00 PM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

I just spent 90 minutes at an appointment with my rheumatologist at Kaiser--I know that no one will believe that! We talked mostly about the China Study and coaching and bike riding and Mt. Tam. I got six cortisone shots into my wrists and more good advice regarding my diet. I feel blessed to have a doctor who is knowledgeable and experienced and not afraid to think outside the box. Together, we are working on a goal of cutting my medicines way down by January 2007. He's really pleased that I have a "fitness and nutrition coach". He wishes more of his patients could have a coach....here's where things get started...great conversations.
I think of you so often...and Judy(I would like to meet her) There are several times in a day that I speak your name and talk about you (mostly to incoming students at CTI) and this amazing work you have created.
Your life is a prayer.


Friday, July 21, 2006 8:52:00 PM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hi, Dear Laura - Touch, touch, touch :) Ah, the power of the human touch. I am sorry to hear about the cancer in your leg. It must be painful. And a little scary. Yet, I didn't sense any fear in your latest posting, and that made me smile. You are a strong and resilient woman. I hope you have a marvelous weekend with your friends and soak up every bit of love that I know will be in abundance at your gatherings. I 'll check in again soon. Lots of Love.

Friday, July 21, 2006 9:35:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Hi Laura

After I read your latest post I sat for a while watch the sprinkler oscillating back and forth across my small, glorious garden. I heard the water from the sprinkler and the waterfall in our pond and I pictured it as healing, loving energy washing over you. R4 came to mind and the wonderful healing circle!! That energy is still with you.

You wrote about touching and a Neil Diamond song came to mind. This is for you:

Warm touching warm,
Reachin' out, touching me, touching you
Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Love B:}

Saturday, July 22, 2006 7:45:00 AM

Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura,

Good to hear your spirit shine through today. You've been much on my mind since I read posting number 4 from a couple of days ago. Today I'm off to a wonderful music festival (just a short bike ride away) and I will bring you in my heart. Music is so good for healing and raising spirits! When I sing along, I'll sing for you. When I dance, I'll dance for strength in your mighty leg bones. And when I laugh, you'll feel it in California. (my laugh does carry!)

OH! And about those vegetables! I'm LOVING what you've got to say about all this! I've been eating mountains of veggies for the last 4 months (one of the ways I've lost 25 lbs. and gotten my FIRST "WOW, Great Liver and Gall Bladder" report from my naturopath in over 4 years!). Just read some great stuff about veggies in Yoga Journal (June 2006 issue) the other day. They were right on board with what you've been writing, and they also talked about antioxidants, their importance, how they work etc. You may have too, but somehow reading that article helped me get what they were and why they mattered in a way I hadn't gotten before

Antioxidants - what they do:
"They neutralize the free radicals our bodies produce, which can damage cell membranes, cause inflammation, and render us suscenptible to accelerated aging and other problems."

Antioxidants - short lived:
"these antioxidants get into your blood stream within an hour or two of consumption and most of them are gone within 12 to 24 hours"

"that's why you not only need ot eat your seven to nine servings of fruit and vegetables every day, but it's a really good idea to eat them throughout the day."

Then there are the phytonutrients. Each type helps prevent disease in a different way. This is where you need to pay attention to COLOR. Eat EVERY color. David Heber, who wrote "What Color Is Your Diet?" "...divides phytonutrients into seven color categories: red, red-purple, orange, orange-yellow, yellow-green, green, and white-green. The darker the hue, the more antioxidants! Heber suggests we eat something from each category every day.... Nuts and herbs contain phytochemicals, too."

"CHOOSE ORGANIC whenever possible..... On average, organic produce contains 30% MORE antioxidants than non-organic fruits and veggies."

That seems important!!

Now... off to that music festival!!

Much love, music, and antioxidants to you on this Saturday,


Saturday, July 22, 2006 8:43:00 AM

Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Hello dear Laura - I'm so glad that you share your results, thoughts and feelings with us so readily - we can be with you through every shift and turn of events.

It was almost one year ago - August 18th in fact - that you sent out your email announcing your blog and asking for support, encouragement, and help. As you said, asking for help was not part of your normal repetoire! AND look how good you are at it now! AND look what has been generated as a result.

It feels like a corner is being turned for you right now with your results confirming what you had already intuited. I sense a bit of a new landscape, in spite of your familiarity with the proposed treatments. Rather than mountain passes, it's more like bald ass prairie in my mind's eye. What comes up for you?

The camping trip that we were so looking forward to can still happen - only it'll be a virtual trip. I'm sure that somewhere on the Net I can find a site that has scenes of cottages on a lake, birds chirping, fish jumping, no insects buzzing, alpine flowers for you to enjoy. Even an RV if you prefer! Does anyone out there know of such sites?

Huge hugs and much love to you and Judy on this sultry July morning.


Saturday, July 22, 2006 8:55:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

I just sent Stacy a picture collage to post on the blog, so look for it soon. The first two are of you and me at the BG in May, the rest are going with me on a walk into Rock Creek. I mentioned it in a message way back, that it is my favorite place to go. You were talking about savoring and I shared that with you. What I wrote as one of my savorings I am working into a poem (which I have never written before). Here it is for you today and I hope you can connect it with the pictures when you get to see them.

Rock Creek.

The air is fresh, the sun is warm.
I meander through the creek picking up rocks
colored red, blue, green and all shades in between.
A deep pool, salmon hang in the shadows,
suddenly they dart into the open then are gone.
Eyes must be quick in order to see them.
I am awed by the landscape.
To see the tiniest flower,
giant trees and huge rocks,
the design of it all.
To the designer I give thanks.

I have been learning some Chinese exercises, Qi Gong, that are beneficial to all areas of the body and in particular, organs. I think of you when I do them and wonder if they would assist your body and organs in this fight. The movements are slow and deliberate but have great power.

Cheering you on in the fight, sending love and prayers.

Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Saturday, July 22, 2006 1:42:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura (and Judy too!)

Sharna and Kim here, just reaching out and saying hello. We're still here and thinking of you and sending you our prayers, good thoughts, and healing energy. AND, thought you might like to know that we spent time with Sharna's family in Colorado over the 4th of July. We were quite into our vegetables while there, which we think they might have thought was a little weird. Especially since they served meat (and beef) at almost every meal. : ) HOWEVER, Sharna reported this week that her sister Suzanne, and Suzanne's 13-year-old son Sam, are now having competitions each day to see who can get their 9 fruits and vegetables in FIRST during the day.

So your reach continues to extend... and we thought you would like to know.

Love and BIG cheers to you both!

Love, Sharna & Kim

Saturday, July 22, 2006 8:50:00 PM

Anonymous Mary Baker said...

Dear Laura:

I've been reaching out and touching and sending you all my healing energies this weekend. I hope this weekend with special friends is truly revealing and enriching and even more...Thinking of you and wishing you PEACE...


Sunday, July 23, 2006 1:48:00 PM

Anonymous Pat Obuchowski said...

Dear Heart,
Just a quick touch to let you know you are in my prayers daily. I read part of your blog on leadership to the Sharks, my tribe, and it brought us all back to purpose and inspiration. Thank you for continuing to point us all to places we would not visit left to our own devices.
Thank you also for the reminder of the importance of what we eat. So good for our bodies and even better if we buy locally...so good for our world.
Loving you and sending you good stuff from an island on the Peninsula!
Pat O

Sunday, July 23, 2006 5:17:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Got a message today from Stacy that she will be out of the office until 8/14 so the picture collage I mentioned in my message 7/22 won't appear until after Stacy is back. When it does appear I can remind you then of the small poem I wrote so you can connect the two then.

We are sweltering in Oregon. Usually it cools off at night but in this heatwave it is staying pretty warm even then.

Sending you cool thoughts!

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Sunday, July 23, 2006 9:39:00 PM

Anonymous Caroline Hall Otis said...

Darling Girl--I adored your description of our leadership program. It is important work and exquisite work and I thank you all the time in my heart for your role in creating it.

I am loving you and Judy something fierce here in Irvington, Virginia. Your well-being and your impact are the focus of my prayers today--and lots of 'em.

It's a beautiful green day here and I started it by rowing my little boat and looking at birds. Saw hummingbirds and thought about your bird-feeder. I hope you're enjoying them right this minute.

Much love--Caroline

Monday, July 24, 2006 9:05:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Thought about you all weekend, and sending much love ... hope you managed to stay cool thoughout this HOT weekend. I know you were surrounded by lots of love and good friends.

I read your note from Friday, thanks for the update and so sorry to hear about the cancer in your leg, and so glad you are going to be getting more information and now you know what is to be done, to clean this cancer out of your body. So on with the fight, lovely lady, you know I have you in my heart which is the safest place I can keep you for now.

I am off to Connecticut to be with Mom on Thursday, back on August 9. So I will touch base when I return. I will be sending you hugs from Bridgeport, CT.

Love to you,


Monday, July 24, 2006 12:30:00 PM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Good morning, Laura.

I know the feeling....better to know and have choices flow out of that knowing. So I'm glad for your knowing and choosing.

Choosing life and aliveness again and again here on the blog, here with this cancer...just as you trained us to do last year as Earthquakes. Wasn't life/aliveness what we chose from the top of that crazy tree with the grinning face? And the peacefulness afterwards!

Same then...same now.

My healing thought for you now is to to picture a wrap of powerful aliveness around your leg.

Love: Jeanne C

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 4:26:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Hi Laura,

I cannot imagine wrestling with the challenges you face. And it is so incredible to see how you choose to live in the heat of it all.

I notice that when we are working together, I don't have the same "I don't know what to say" feeling as I do when the focus is on real life and the possibility of death. Well, at least not as frequently :-)

I also notice that when I am working "with you", I don't check in as often here. I wonder if the same is true of others. And yet I know how important this space is, where it is all about you, and life, and how you choose to be with the big challenges, the big questions.

So, I will try to come here more frequently again.

Every night that I am home, and I get to tuck in my 3 year-old, we say prayers. And we run down a very long list of family and friends, and at the end, we say "and everyone at work, at church, at school and everyone in our neighborhood. And everyone that needs Your love. And then Erin says - "and everyone on airplanes", because she knows that I sometimes go on airplanes. I love that we love so many people. You are part of that group, sometimes explicitly, and sometimes implicitly.

Lots of love and prayers, and positive healing energy, and fighting energy, in case you need some,


Tons of love, and healing to you.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 5:25:00 PM

Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Hey Laura and Judy:

It's been a long time since I have checked in here and, I want you to know that I check in every Monday morning to see what is up because I notice that you like to write on Sundays..or so.

It has been since April that we have been talking about a visit and I would still like to come see you both. I would like it to be like it was before. We sit, we talk, we drink a little red wine, we get to know each other. Laura asks these questions that take me deep inside myself like the masterful coach she is. Judy smiles and shows me the land and takes pride in her creations. We look at copies of "Co-Active Coaching" in RUSSIAN and I gush over Laura's celebrity status and we talk about the possibility of Oprah. We explore and analyze new teachings and our history together in the Council Guide Tribe.

And now, I wonder still, as you fight, and get test results, and feel good and feel crummy, and decide on protocols, and are hooked up to iv's, do you want my visit? Do you want the human touch? Do you want my human touch?

My edge of course is vulnerability and I cannot imagine having others see me in mine as you are allowing others to see you now and you put it out there regularly. You are vulnerable and asking for love, and touch, and prayers, and how in the world do you do that?

With a bit of hero worship and many blessings to you and Judy,


Tuesday, July 25, 2006 8:05:00 PM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Hi Laura, I talked to Rick last Friday as I was driving down to South Bend to visit my dad. He said you were waiting for test results. So before going to my dad's house, I first stopped at my favorite place, the Grotto, on the U. of Notre Dame campus and lit a candle for you. I'm frustrated for you about the results - you are working so hard to do all the right things. And I know you will continue. And I will do my part to continue to hold you in my daily prayers and ask God to be right there with you. Love, Susan

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 9:32:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura

It is the end of the day. A nice day and a nice summer day ending. I am not eating as many vegetables as I need to. Maybe that will be my honoring of you - eating more. I can eat these things and honor you.

My garden is full of zukes and green beans and the tomatoes are starting. I love to go out and forage and then eat what I find. A gift of this season.

You are in my thoughts every day. I have your name up on a card with a burning candle and pictures of children in my life. Doing my best to hold up my end of things for you.

With love,


Thursday, July 27, 2006 5:10:00 PM

Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hey sweetie...

Thinking of you lots today. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT... keep up that FIGHT! There's a little surprise on the way to remind you of the fight and who you are in the middle of the night if you lose your way in the dark...

OODLES of love to you...


Thursday, July 27, 2006 7:23:00 PM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hello, Dear Laura - I came by to check on you and see how you're doing. I cringed when I read about the PIC line problems because I remember the 3 times I went into the hospital to have a baby, what I dreaded the most was having that IV inserted. Ouch. I love your memories of Childhood summers and sleeping outdoors. I have similar memories. My dad used to have an old pickup truck and we used to lay some blankets in the bed of the truck and sleep under the stars. To cool off further, we would shower outside with the grass sprinkler right before we went to bed. It was magical! And I remember feeling so safe knowing that my dad was right there by us. He could protect us from anything, so I thought. I have never felt that safe again. And so many days I wish for that feeling one more time.

Big hug to you. Know that I think of you every day and pray that all will be well soon.

Thursday, July 27, 2006 9:59:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laura (jen L here),

Oh damn what a ride you are having. I keep thinking of your leg and the remark about not wanting it to break. As part of my collection of new aches and pains over the last year, I get these unexplained shooting pains in my legs. And so, it's strange to say, but you know strange is my specialty, but every time I get one of those pangs my thoughts go to you too.

I notice I want to say cheerful loving hopeful, fight fight fight words. But I also want say damn, damn, damn. And swear like a sailor. This sucks.

A little word about the fight. As you may recall, I've been struggling with fatigue for a while now and so over the last months reading your fight words, I just couldn't relate. I didn't think I had much fight and I was grateful I wasn't where you are because I probably wouldn't be fighting. Or so I thought. Then I got something conclusive, finally, from one of the many tests I have been taking, (high triglycerides) and my Dr said, "Well this is bad enough that I can prescribe Crestor for you right now before you try and fix it with lifestyle." And I felt like crap and said yeah, OK, and then I got some free samples to tide me over along with a paper prescription.

And then I thought, "Oh now wait just a minute..." And then I got on the web and started reading. Because I thought you know this drug would just be the first drug, and then I'd be bought into the whole silver-bullet drug syndrome and I'd develop a close personal relationship with the pharmacist.


More swearing.

You know, for me, anger is a good thing. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, and thank you for forgiving me for most of those times (grin), but in times like this it's really helpful.

So, NO to Crestor, after a little research, and YES to vegetables, and to daily walks, and to Omega-3s, and to Niacin, and spirulina, and good supplements generally, and to joining the health club and actually going, and to spending quality time with my dog, because happiness is the best drug of all!

FIGHT, damnit, FIGHT

Ok, so I get it now.

Takes me a while.

And, now that you mention it, nothing against my Dr, she's a good egg, but why in hell does she have samples of Crestor in the cabinet and not samples of vitamins that would do the same job. Yeah, so I know the answer is not simple, the whole medical system is complex and I'm not going to go all nutso on supplements and negative on prescriptions, it's just that, shees! shouldn't we try the well-tested, proven-with-research biologics, with their much shorter list of really undesirable side-effects, first?

I think so.

And I have been happy to find excellent sources on the web. U of Maryland has a great site, easily searched, wonderful writeups, and so does the Mayo clinic.

And I've been thinking about vegetables since you asked. Because yeah they have all this good stuff in them, which you listed quite nicely thank you. But as I make my salad, I'm not thinking about how good it all is for me. I just notice how the tomato just looks so alive, and so yummy. And I think of my ex's grandparents who grew tomatoes in their yard in Medford, Oregon. How when we broke up I wanted, somehow, and unrealistically, to retain rights to his grandparent's tomatoes. Because those were the first REAL tomatoes I had tasted. Man those two could grow tomatoes. Sweet? Juicy? Fleshy. So soft and full you had to hold them in the palm of your hand or they'd break open. And other red things, like radishes. Where would we be without radishes? Crunchy and spicy. I'll bet they have something good in them too. I always think of this little Greek restaurant in London that would serve radishes and green onions with their hummus. Damn that was good! And red bell peppers. Oh my god. I can't even imagine life without red bell peppers. Fresh in salads or right off the cutting board. Or strips roasted in olive oil and garlic and they never make it to the fridge I just eat them right off the baking sheet, holding them, hot, in the tips of my fingers and blowing on them to cool off and then they're gone.

And that's just the red vegetables. I could go on. But the point is my fingers and eyes and taste buds have an opinion about vegetables and are clearly nourished by them in ways that cannot be explained by their nutrients. So is my spirit. Just wanted to share some veggie love...

Oh dear Laura, I wish you, again, many good things to fill your days. Visits from friends and fans, time in the garden and in the sun, cool night breezes. And no more fevers, no more shake and bakes. And I share with you the spirit of Fight. You are worth it, I am worth it, life is worth it. And radishes make the ride just a little more wonderful.

Much love,


Friday, July 28, 2006 1:43:00 AM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Hi Laura

You spoke of being touched by people reaching out. We sometimes forget that most people 'want' to reach out.

I was driving on a country road last week and passed my turn. I did a U turn in a driveway and failed to notice a culvert - okay the road was dusty, the grass was dusty, the culvert was dusty. My front tire slid over the edge and I was stuck. I figured I'd need a tow truck. I got out and walked up the lane to the farmhouse. There were 2 strapping (and very cute) young men who immediately agreed to come out and have a look. When we got to the road 2 cars had pulled over seeing my dilemma. In less than 2 minutes - 5 men, one other woman and I had lifted my car out of it's dilemma, and everyone was smiling and happy - especially me. I had an adventure that was 'made' by people only too happy to reach out and touch someone - me.

There are so many opportunities to do that in life. And tonight, Laura, I am reaching out to touch you and Judy. Sweet dreams. B:}

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:41:00 PM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

In addition to reading your own notes, I love to read the all the many postings of your community.

What a story there is all around you! What a lovely, strong web! What beauty, what a bounty you have created from your fight!

In CS Lewis' "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", there is an island where travellers who are attempting to reach the end of the world can stay while deciding if they have the courage/fight to go on.

Each night, a grand table is set with a magnificent feast by birds that appear to fly out of the sun itself. Each morning, they return to clear it away.

Your blog is like that island. A place of incredible, magical nourishment (vegetables and all) on this journey that we all are making together and alone. A place of inward and outward searching. A place of decision, over and over again. A place of touching and healing -- yours and ours.

This coming week is my annual week with my two nephews. I will be savouring it as never before. Last year before I was a vegetarian, we ate hot dogs every night of their visit without exception. Hmmmmm. This year we'll be roasting ears of corn and other veggies over the campfire. I'll let you know how it goes....

With love and gratitude....

XO Jeanne C

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:47:00 AM

Anonymous Heather Diddel said...

July 29, 2006
Upstate New York

Hey that' Laura woman of power, might and fight - -

I've been thinking of you often, sending you love and massaging touch from afar.

A weird thing happened the last time I left a note for you: mOved by what was going on for you at that time, I wrote a long, long note to you - - and absent-mindedly posted it in the area reserved for your personal postings ( which I love reading and thinking about)...I felt a tad dumb, klutzy, embarrassed, and tried to find a way to fix it - -to no avail. I figured that you would know that it came from a place of love, even if it ended up in the worng place on the blog...

Lo! and behold, when I checked back several moments later, there was no trace left of my visit to the blog..."no trace" is excellent when you're leaving a camp ground, or White Eagle's new digs in Colorado, but somewhat surprising and a bummer in this instance...Am hoping for better karma tonight. Most of all, I am aiming to let you know that I am holding you close in my heart,sending love and loving touch to you, Judy and your A team, loving your spirited quest as you navigate these waters, and always grateful for who you are and how much more alive the universe is just from your being here in your own inimitable way.

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 85. He died three years ago, during the weekend when the Kimsey-Carrington-Diddel-House women all gathered together to do the three day Avon breat cancer walk in cold, rainy, upstate NY. It was his time to go, I knew then and I know it now. I'm missing my in-the-flesh dad tonight, though , and am warmed as I read your words and recognize in them the gutsy, loving, heave-ho fight for life my dad had. He had a passion for life and people, and successfully fought cancer when he was in his 60's. A tough row to hoe, but like you, he kept choosing life...

I read an article about an intriguing woman journalist who said she had inherited her Japanese mother's attitude toward life. She uses the Japanese word - -ganbaru - -to identify it and explains that it means "never give up, even if there's no chance of winning" . And of course, when we refuse to let go of the dream, often "no chance" gives way to a bigger truth and makes room for miracles to happen...

Here's to ganbaru, love and the life flame that you are. And to VEGETABLES, GLORIOUS VEGETABLES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! More on that later....other than to say that discovering the beauty of lots and lots of vegetables several years ago has been life changing....as was my time with you at Leadership. Your words and messages to me continue to resonate and change the shape of my picture of what can be and who I can be in any given moment. I ma so happy that you and KKH are co-leading the otters. Lucky people...

Mucho love to you, Laura - -


Saturday, July 29, 2006 9:01:00 PM

Blogger cjeanneb said...

Hi Laura
from the farm and Canadian summer hot days and long nights. Remembering last year this July Sunday last day of R2 at the Mother Tree with the Earthquakes and you and Henry and the learning that I experienced and continue to experience.
Right now I am in the process of being conscious of my rituals and what they mean and creating new ones that celebrate life and keep me in a state of gratitude and wonder.
Reading your blog is one of those rituals I do at least every week. Those long nights are the most difficult because in the aloneness of evening I often allow the brown shrouded figure of loneliness inside me to speak. That is when i make my way to visit you and others in the world and see the heart of life that is always there.
Blessings to you
Jeanne B

Sunday, July 30, 2006 8:54:00 AM

Anonymous Breeze Carlile said...

Hey Babe,

Thank goodness for this blog. I was with you through some of this past week, and even then didn't know half of what was going on with you, or going through your head. It is a good thing that here you have a place to share, to be heard, to be loved and appreciated.

I've been lazy, or busy, but I have not posted to the blog nearly as often as I have wanted to. And now I see that although you have my complete love to call me at any time of the day or night, you probably will not, but you will go to the blog, so if I posted here you would get to touch in with me, at any time, any hour. I'm committed to being here more often, for you and for me.

Some random sharing:

I'm reading/working my way through Gerald Jampolsky's "Love is Letting Go of Fear". My ego says "crock" and my heart says "peace". It's a challenge for me to turn my thoughts constantly away from what I percieve as reality, threat, possibility, towards thoughts of peace, forgiveness, now-ness. I believe in the concept but the -- what-if I really did need to heed that threat, or deny that person, or not take that action -- ego's desire for existence is strong.

I've been struggling a lot with my desire to receive versus unconditional giving. I'm actually more peaceful and content when I am creating work and play for me and mine. And yet, the gremlin yells "what am I getting"? Who is giving to me. Well, when I turn away from the strident voice, I can see that I receive plenty and a lot and generously from a multitude of people who aren't necessarily the same bunch that I am giving to. Giving and Receiving aren't circular, me/you, you/me, but chaos theory. We are get and get and get and give and give and give, to whatever and whoever shows up in our path. Keeping a score sheet isn't useful here. Tear that up, and just keep accepting/receiving/giving to the people and things that show up just now.

So just now I hear my mind say that I am getting fearful about what the future holds for us, for you. Oh yeah, whats the title of that book? "Love is letting go of fear". So fear less and love you more. Love you more. That's an easy one. Love you always.


Sunday, July 30, 2006 8:08:00 PM

Anonymous andy denne said...

Dear laura
I am sending you love and prayers and thanks from over here in France.
My two daughters - Amelia and Anglike are 5 and 3 years old now...How time flies huh!
We took them into the wilds of the pyrenees last week for their first ever camping trip. Just one night away, on top of a mountain plateau, surrounded by wild horses and cows with cow bells that kept me awake all night.
We went with donkeys - the girls rode the donkeys, and the donkeys carried our stuff...so Isabelle and i could simply walk. Well, i say the girls rode the donkeys - Anglike decided she preferred the ride of daddy's shoulders to that of the donkey...
In fact, given one of the fuels for the hunger in the word i am activited by is "fathers time with his children"...i was a happy sweaty, back sore daddy by the end of the trip....

next time we will go for two nights, and keep on adding wilderness to their growing up experiences....

ANd thanks for the posting about veggies - you can be sure i will be bringing my daughters up to be organic veggie nutters!!!

with love healing and prayers swirling your way on the winds of mother earth and in the sound of birdsong....

Andy Denne

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:31:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura

It's been a few weeks and I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes just not knowing what to write...and damn it the truth is I am sad to hear what you and those loving and caring for you are going through right now...

...love and energy to you, Judy and your amazing A team. May you and them receive everything you and they need to continue living well at this time.

Love from over the pond

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:19:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

While in my yoga class on Saturday that just past, the instructor put forward...'is there someone you would like to dedicate your practice to?'...my thought was yes...you...so on Saturday Laura, my yoga practice, which is my spiritual practice in many ways, was dedicated to you and your healing...love Parool.

Monday, July 31, 2006 6:25:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,

Since you liked the part about vegetables, here is some more. In my last posting I said I would eat more vegetables so I have been. All weekend when I pass by the vegetable garden, weeding or just going by, and would stop and pop a cherry tomato into my mouth and think, "that's one more for Laura." I also ate a cucumber and green beans and a peach (do peaches count?) with you in my mind. I made easy 9 vegies if you count the cherry tomatoes separately.

That I could heal you by eating right and thinking of you as I do so.



Monday, July 31, 2006 7:37:00 AM

Anonymous heather said...

August 1, 2006
Upstate NY

Hey thar', m'dear - -

Happy first few minutes of August 2006! Hot and muggy here in NYS; how is California celebrating the beginning of this new month???

I just thought I'd stop by and let you know that I'm thinking of you. Loved the thought from Lynne that by eating our fruits and veggies and thinking of you, we are helping the healing process within you...so, I sit here plopping a strawberry into my mouth, thinking of you, and sending love and healing and gratitude for the incredible flame of life force that you are - -

With a hug and loving touch or two or three --

xoxox - -Heather

Monday, July 31, 2006 9:28:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

To the real Wonder Woman,
Hey, Laura. That night light sounds so neat and what an inspiration to greet you if you waken in the night.

No Wonder Woman night light for me, just a flashlingt! Next week I will be away at our church kids' camp, so will have to get caught up here when I return. I am used to checking in each night and will miss that.

Not long afer I return from camp, my brother and I are leaving on a trip to family reunion in Okla. We are driving and will be gone at least 3 weeks. I plan to take my laptop with me on that trip so will be checking in each night.

I just want you to know that I love coming here, and sharing in what you are experiencing and to let you know I am here, that you are in my thoughts and prayers often throughout the day. Praying that the toxins will be diluted and that you system will be strong to handle the shake and bakes!

A kiss for your forehead!

Love, Emily

Monday, July 31, 2006 11:57:00 PM

Anonymous Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello Miss "eat your fruits and vegetables" Laura:

My satallite got knocked out by high winds and haven't been able to get on the blog for 4 or 5 days now. . .Missed it. ..you. . . .all.

Still not internet but we finally bought an external modem for one of hte computers. . .those things are slower than hell. How did we every do it??

I laughted out loud reading about your new gift from Art. It is so good to have someone to talk to in the wee hours and I think Wonder Woman is just the gal for you!

I have absolutely nothing profound to say except that I love you so, so much Laura. . .I'm sending lots of "good liver juju" as Andrew would say, for that faithful, hard working liver of yours.

And to let you know that I'm eating more fruits and vegetables these days too. . . and when I do, it makes me smile and thing of you.

Muchos love,


Tuesday, August 01, 2006 7:26:00 AM

Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Dear Laura - I just love that you and Judy slept out on the grass and under the stars. On top of all the veggies you are eating, the feeling and smelling of grass has to be a fabulous source of Vitamin G (goodness)! And to have a Wonder Woman greeting you especially at night makes me smile to think of you getting your Vitamin W (wonderful warrior)supplement on an ongoing basis.

I just came out of a 4 day silent meditation retreat (my first)- the stillness was like velvet - you were with me as I tried to walk and eat mindfully - thinking of you walking with your IV attached or eating when you are feeling nauseous.One step at a time, one bite and chew that could take forever it seemed. I loved the slowness and the silence and the focus on THIS moment and how full it could be if I focused on sending loving kindness to you, Judy and others. How moments would just evaporate into oblivion when I wasn't paying attention. I loved the feeling of 40 women sitting together in silence - it was powerful. Kind of like the feeling I get from sensing the enormous community that is out here supporting and loving you.

We're heading out to the mountains today for some camping. I'm making room for you and Judy to come along with us in spirit -I'll tell you all about our adventures next week.

Til then,
Love, love, love

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 8:01:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

Wanted to thank you again for giving me the opportunity to be with you in May at conference. I am grateful also to have faces and personalities to connect to some of the names that appear here. Even some that I have never met that have pictures posted here I feel as though I know them a little just by seeing their likeness. I especially enjoyed the Morning Poem by Mary Oliver that Shekinah posted at the beginning of this segment of the blog. Good thoughts to go to sleep on.

Good night my friend. Give the wonder woman a wink if you see her tonight.

Love, Emily

Thursday, August 03, 2006 12:01:00 AM

Anonymous Hope Langner said...

Hi Laura,

Just stopping by to say a quick hello. I think of you often, and haven't written much lately--I've been recovering from a pretty intense back injury that had me off my feet for several weeks. LOTS of learning there! More on that another time.

Reading here about veggies is inspiring me to really step up the amount of fruits and veggies in my diet. You are making a difference in so many ways.

It is hotter and muggier than usual here in upstate NY--I am off to Boston later today to lead a course--my first time back on my feet since early June. Looking forward to spending the weekend in a nice cool space, with Fulfillment everywhere.

I will keep you close by all weekend, sending you lots of love, bouquets of healing energy, and incredible strength.

Live (this is me typing Love three times and getting Live instead)--
Live, Laura, live strong and live well!

Love, Hope

Thursday, August 03, 2006 6:53:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thursday, 8/3/06
Upstate NY

Laura m'darlin'- -

Just popping in to say hi and sweet dreams...BUt first, some local news: Sam and I have joined White Eagle's newest cgt group out at Shining Stone in New Mexico. Just got back last week. Amazing time. I know that you and Judy were active participants in the Medicine Wolves for a while ( and probably have remained members of that tribe even as your battle for life took precedence ) and have wondered what it was like for you. I have been thinking of the "gifting" tslagi dance that we now do every morning in our sweet summer scented back yard, and that you and Judy will be the "love targets" of that dance for now.I think of it as a morning gift of love and healilng energy...

I'm sending you love even as I type inbetween mouthfuls of fresh salad, tomatoes and summer squash -BE WELL,OH BEAUTIFUL VEGGIE AND HEALTH PROMOTING WOMAN! And know that we are holding you tenderly in our heartminds and souls, with deep gratitude for your hot love-filled burning presence in this universe - -

xoxoxox - -Heather

Thursday, August 03, 2006 6:46:00 PM

Blogger Helen House said...

Hi Laura!

Have you seen that the US Post Office has stamps with vegetables on them this month? I thought of you yesterday when I bought some. What fun to buy stamps that I can stick on anything I need to mail that tell people to EAT YOUR VEGETABLES. As my bills circulate through the massive piles of mail at the post office I picture them rubbing against millions of other letters and spreading subliminal messages across the land creating an 'eat your vegetables' epidemic! After opening their mail, people around the world have a sudden urge to munch a carrot or stir fry a little bok choy. People working in mail rooms install juicers by the coffee machine. Vegetables will be on the brain world wide.

You never know... crazier things have happened.

I just have a minute as I'm packing to go back to our cabin in Canada today. My daughter and I were already up there for 10 days when I came back to get my son, Isaiah. You know, when I began my journey with CTI (and you) he wasn't even in preschool. Now he's 5'8 or 9", has hair down past his shoulders, a hint of a moustache and braces. He'll be starting to drive this year!! As he would say, "Holy crap!"

Why do I tell you that? It has something to do with miracles and magic and noticing and that weird thing about time flying and standing still. It also has to do with appreciating what's here in the moment and not rushing past the things that matter. I will savour my drive with him today (8 hours) and I will savour this last week of vacation with both of my kids and other bits of my wonderful family. I will savour it all the more because of you and what you continue to teach me everyday. This life we're living is precious! And fragile. And worth fighting for.

I love you, Miss Laura. Give a squeeze to Judy and have her give you one back from me. Will touch back on my return.


Eatin' her veggies even on vacation HELEN

Friday, August 04, 2006 2:36:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

I'm here reading about everyone eating their veggies and fruits as I am waiting for the finished baking of a chocolate pecan pie. Boo-oo-oo hissss everyone says! Yep, and it is near midnight, but that's the time to bake....while it is cooler outside. This pie is very unique and promises to be an all-time family favorite. Actually, this one I am fixing for a dessert auction so I hope it does well.

I am hoping the weekend will bring you pleasant sunshine, fresh breezes, sweet sounds, warm touches, rest, no shake and bakes, strength and fight, fight, fight!

Love, Emily

Saturday, August 05, 2006 12:03:00 AM

Anonymous Isha said...

Addendum to Art's nightlife gift:

Wonder Woman Lyrics
- by Norman Gimbel & Charles Fox

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.

In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.

Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.

Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.

Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds, and change the world.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.


Saturday, August 05, 2006 1:12:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura, I've been thinking of you lots lately. Then I read your endorsement in my new copy of The Anatomy of Peace. It was good to connect with you in that way. It's hotter than the dickens in Texas these days. This afternoon storms blew up somewhere close and the winds off the storm cooled us by 10 degrees in a matter to minutes. Its always amazing how blessings show up when your not expecting them. I hope the winds blow cooling comfort your way. You are in my prayers and surrounded by my love. Sara Smith

Sunday, August 06, 2006 4:25:00 PM

Anonymous Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello dear:

Just a quick note to say that I love you before I lay me down for a bit of sleep.

Henry and I are heading out tomorrow at 3:30 am (IN THE MORNING!!) to fly to Canada for two weeks at the island and then off to Europe for several weeks. I'll be back in 'Merica on September 20th.

Will be thinking of you and sending you love from "across the pond" as our British pals say.

Love to you,


Sunday, August 06, 2006 9:49:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Fight fight fight! Keep on fighting.

The latest vegetable news from the world of Sharna & Kim is that I did my first juicing a few weeks back (previously Sharna had done all of our juicing). In doing so, I realized "Damn - that's a lot of vegetables!" So what did I do? I ran straight to the computer and signed us up for a weekly vegetable delivery from Planet Organics (www.planetorganics.com). Now, this is something that Sharna has been trying to convince me to do for YEARS. Finally, Finally, FINALLY... I am on board. And now we have so many great organic veggies - delivered to our house - that I'm really going to have to really work to keep up!!

Thank you. : ) From me, and from Sharna. Thank you for teaching us to eat our vegetables.

You just keep on fighting!!!


Monday, August 07, 2006 10:35:00 AM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Dear Laura, well I'm back from a week of R&R, visiting friends and my dad for a couple of days and just read your latest blogs. Damnit!! I don't know what to write, I don't know the inspiring words to say to provide you with encouragement. At the tail end of my vacation I stopped in South Bend on the way back to Chicago and retuned to the Grotto to light another candle for you. I just want you to know that there is a candle burning vigilantly for you that carries prayers of healing and love...I love you Laura, Susan

Monday, August 07, 2006 1:44:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Dear Laura,

Wow... more crazy scary hairy stuff. And yet you live on, teaching, loving, inspiring. I don't have any advice - other than trust your heart, what do you want in your heart? What do you believe in your heart? What's compelling now?

I love you, and will continue to keep you in my prayers. I also want to thank you - for being the creator that you are. The synthesizer of human experience into something inspiring and within reach of us mortals. The co-active coaching model, the Bigger Game model. I cannot imagine my life without the wisdom and learning in these models. And I cannot imagine life without you holding out the torch for all of us, as we venture forth in the exploration of humanity and our conscious, intentional evolution. You are a true explorer, a pioneer. Brilliant, bold, loving, pulling, pushing, challenging, and loving again.

My love,


Monday, August 07, 2006 8:14:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

P.S. I had 5 veggie servings and 3 fruit servings today! And Dan just put together a family "strive for 5" contest - with bonus points for eating more than 5 veggies and fruits. The family member with the most points at the end of the week wins. There are penalties for unhealthy snacks too! And $$ to the weekly winner!

Live well! Love well! And be creative so that your family can do the same!


Monday, August 07, 2006 8:23:00 PM

Anonymous Linda J. said...

Hey you have requested another ditty, you must be mad, but here goes:Ditty No. 2

There are Veg and IV’s and Wonder Woman too,
These friends are around to take care of you

Love in disguise…………

Life wears a smile and gives a big sigh,
When it sees how willing you are to try

To Live full on………………

And now you have some key decisions to make,
How can we help and what will it take

For you to know……………

There is much to consider, and it not like buying a hat,
It’s more like, oh no not this, and oh no not that

Is there a new range…………..

"So you are saying I can have some of this and some of that too,
And you now have buckets of love for that brew"

"I’ll take that one……………"

You have made a good choice in choosing today,
This brew full of love that will show you the way

And it’s on tap…………….

I know I am teasing and playing with you,
And every now and again that’s what I need to do

To touch a dear friend


Linda x

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 4:29:00 AM

Anonymous Barbara said...

Hi Laura

It's a glorious day in a delightful summer here in Port Moody BC. I just read your latest post and it was hard to read. And I think you should follow your gut feeling and do what feels right. You are so in tune with your body.

I want to share an Earthquake story. My in-between R2 & R3 pod called ourselves the "Intentional Intimates". Our calls and connection were delightful, loving and intimate. We were looking forward to being together at R3 and discovered that there was going to be a full moon the second night of the retreat. We committed to meeting on the deck and dancing to Van Morrison's song Moondance. I thought I'd send you the lyrics and you can hear it in your mind and image some Earthquakes dancing with great abandon on a gorgeous night at Mother Tree and howling at the moon. Hope the thought makes you smile and maybe even dance a little. Love and prayers and healing energy to you. B:}

Well it's a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
You know the night's magic
Seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight
Seems to shine in your blush...

Can I just have one a' more moondance with you, my love?
Can I just make some more romance with a' you, my love?

Well I wanna make love to you tonight
I can't wait till the morning has come
And I know now the time is just right
And straight into my arms you will run
And when you come my heart will be waiting
To make sure that you're never alone
There and then all my dreams will come true dear
There and then I will make you my own
And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside
And I know how much you want me that, you can't hide...
Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?
Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?

Well it's a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
You know the night's magic
Seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight
Seems to shine in your blush...

One more moondance with you
In the moonlight
On a magic night
la, la, la, la, there's a moonlight
On a magic night
Can't I just have one more dance
With you my love?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 8:42:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Vegetable Coach!

I just wanted to add to my post from yesterday that I visited my doctor for my annual physical, and she about fell out of her chair when she looked at my cholesterol this year vs. last year.

Last year: 168
This year: 143

Yahoo!! I was training for the Napa Marathon at the time of my last checkup, and my running has decreased slightly since then, so it can't be exercise. I told her that I've had a vegetable coach for the past two and a half months and that I'm taking fish oil and I think THAT must be the reason for the change. She was VERY impressed.

So henceforth, I officially declare you to be my Vegetable Coach! Hope you don't mind!! : )

Wishing you well today!


Tuesday, August 08, 2006 10:51:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura dear--I just watched the almost-harvest moon set from my front porch and am now on the back porch watching the sun rise and the geese fly over the creek. Over the last week, I have been sleeping outside in the high desert in new Mexico, watching the cycles of the sun and moon, clouds, and my own body. During the whole time, you have been a constant in my heart and very much on my mind, as well. I'm appreciating your huge contribution to my life and also thinking about your sweet, fierce, immensely huggable body--and wishing I were there for the hugging part, the the feet in the lap part, right now. Would that you and Judy were sitting on this porch (though I know it' mighty early for you) so we could watch the sun rise together.

thank you for the vegetable talk. Who ever ssaid breakfast had to be eggs and cereal?...Veggies and quinoa make for a mighty fine morning meal.

Here's a poem that cracked me open in a recent leadership retreat:

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear.

You, sent out beyond your recall
go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame.
and make the big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you:
beauty and terror
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.



Wednesday, August 09, 2006 3:48:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just catching up...that's a tough decision to make...can't offer any pearls of wisdom i'm afraid my love...mind you after all the decisions you've had to take on this fight and all the research you've done, i can't imagine anyone better informed to take the decision than you, judy and your a team.

Sending you all lots of love
Zoe xx

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 9:42:00 AM

Anonymous Maia Zohara (Otters) said...

Dear Laura,

I am in the Giant River Otter POD with Wendy and she shared your live well blog address with us during our last meeting. In reading your last entry I felt moved to write this poem/song. It is actually inspired by a chant that was sung to me during a challenging time for myself. That experience did help me gain the clarity I needed at that time. I attached the file for you to download.

In my lifetime I have had the good fortune to love and support 4 people facing a diagnosis of terminal illness and no hope. My mother with an inoperable brain tumor, my sister with breast cancer, a mother in my preschool with matastisized bone cancer and my girlfriend's baby daughter born at 21 weeks. All of these people are vibrantly alive, all of their capacities in tact and active today, some 20, 15, 10 and now Baby Fiona Pearl 6 years later. I share this with you because I know each of these people found hope, encouragement and strength from these kind of stories.

I have been feeling your pressence and thinking about you alot since I have been at Mother Tree. My initial inspiration was to snail mail you a package with a string you could encircle yourself with, a candle, a journal and a tape of me singing this to you. It seemed more timely to your need for input to send it now.

Song for Laura

In this circle no fear,
In this circle deep peace,
In this circle great happiness,
In this circle safety,

In this moment no fear,
In this moment deep peace,
In this moment great happiness,
In this moment insight,

In this Laura no fear,
In this Laura deep peace,
In this Laura great Happiness,
In this Laura healing,

In this body no fear,
In this body deep peace,
In this body great happiness,
In this body wisdom,

Body, what do you need
To completely HEAL?

Laura, Declare sacred space! Take a string, encircle yourself lying, sitting, standing, free from all things to consider.....Breathe Deeply. Imagine this circle embracing you, holding you, supporting you. Within it, realized answers come easily to you.

I see an amazingly wonderful woman radiant with her realized next step....

With love,

Maia Zohara

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 4:08:00 PM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Hi Laura,

Just wanting to send love again, and also to let you know that you are here with us in Dallas, lots of IBMers gathered. A little Bigger Game work, around IBM's Innovation that Matters to the World Compelling Purpose. See that through the context of the model. Some shifts, light bulbs, hunger. Your work continues, expands.

Cried a little with Susan this morning - as we talked of you, and how challenging this all is... Felt hunger in the BG Certification call this evening - for your healing. You were in the middle of that circle.

And the greatest of these is love,


Wednesday, August 09, 2006 9:13:00 PM

Blogger Shirzad Chamine said...

Dear Laura,
I just finished attending CTI’s Retreat 5, one of your latest works of art. I think it is a masterpiece, the most beautifully crafted learning experience I have ever been a part of. I feel such a depth of gratitude for you and need to express it.

I came to CTI 4 years ago thinking I understood what it meant to be a leader. I had all sorts of previous titles and degrees to prove it. Your works of art, both the workshops you co-created, and the company and community you brought together, have been working me and changing me ever since. It took a while for my arrogance to melt and for me to realize that there was a lot to leadership that I didn’t know, and that leadership was a sacred choice. It wasn’t until the R5 experience that I finally understood what it really meant to be a leader in the world, and actually claimed it.

You have changed many lives Laura. I just want you to know that I am one of those many. I don’t know how aware you are of your connection with spirit. The body of work you have created would not be possible without that deep connection, as it feels “channeled.” I pray that, even in the midst of your current lonely pain, you can feel deeply in your heart the sacred being that you are. You are a beautiful daughter of spirit, held in love, adored, and cherished.

with love, gratitude, and prayers

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 9:31:00 PM

Blogger Stacy Parson said...

Dear Laura,

Ahh...decisions. I don't have any thing new to offer, but I woke up early this morning thinking about you. Thinking about how whenever I'm stuck or swimming in too much information, trying to sort it through, you always have one question for me (sometimes the words are different, but the essence is the same). That question is "what do you want?" I'm always struck by how new the question seems. By how it invites me to move closer toward clarity. How profound it always feels. I'm not sure if this question is helpful for you now, but I wanted to offer it with the same wonder, possibility, and belief that you always present it to me.

There's another thought that I want to share with you. With the arrival of Jorin, there have already been several decisions we've had to make. Decisions that aren't straightforward. Decisions that don't provide immediate feedback about whether or not you made the "right" one. So, what Kim and I have used as a gauge is: What is it that we can live with? What decision do we have the most alignment with? - even if it's the most foreign or uncertain path. Again, I'm not sure how helpful these thoughts are, but they showed up as I was thinking of you this morning and I just wanted you to have them.

I love you, and am looking forward to our next conversation.

Love, Stacy

Wednesday, August 09, 2006 10:02:00 PM

Anonymous Sue said...

I was on a teleseminar for an energy healing technique called 'The Healing Codes'. I have no idea whether it will work or not, but I would be remiss not to have at least shared it as these codes have helped other people eliminate the stress in their body so that their body could heal itself.

In a nutshell - you state a prayer/intention, do one of the hand positions over one of the four healing spots on the body while saying a mantra to yourself. I know it sounds deceptively easy. I've included some notes of results obtained from a woman diagnosed with MS and an MD diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease - who are both disease free after doing the healing codes - that were shared on a teleconference call in November 2005 The site is www.thehealingcode.com (The story of how the healing codes were discovered and used with depression is on the site.)

Here are some of the notes from the teleclass call I was on:

What happened 6 weeks later changed everything. A patient said - I don't remember telling you that I had MS. Why are you asking me this - I said. She said - because I just came from Vanderbilt hospital and I don't have MS anymore. I said - you got to tell me how you did this? No - it's these things you've had me do. He said - it could't be, those are for emotional things. From the very first one my symptoms started getting better.

~ February 2003 Dr. Ben was diagnosed with Lou Gehrigs disease. Only 20% survive 5 years and handful survive 10 years+. Went to a seminar with Dr. Loyd and it meant scientific sense. Lots of wonderful testimonials of people who had been helped - but being in alternative medicine for so many years only take them with grain of salt. He had the science. I knew I had nothing to lose as standard medicine or naturopathic medicine (frequency machines, herbals etc) had nothing to offer those with Lou Gehrig disease.

Did healing codes and within 2 months my symptoms had resolved. Decided he needed to know more about this and wanted to be part of it. (Note - Dr Ben was on this call with Dr Loyd - which was November 2005).

I have the notes from the call if you want them.


Thursday, August 10, 2006 11:19:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Friday earaly a.m.
UPstate NY

HI there, sweet-being - -

I'm just checking in to let you know how touched I am by your honesty, your way of stretching yourself and stretching all of us who love you fiercely and who know that you are one of the Big Gifts in our lives. I don't have any ansswers to the questions you're facing other than that there is no one better to pluck an answer out of the air than you. I'll be back for more verbiage over the next day or two. Just wanted you to know that the way you continue to live your life makes me live mine in a bigger, more genuine, make-a-HUGE-difference way. With love from the bottom of my heart - -Heather

Thursday, August 10, 2006 11:40:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hey Laura,

Last time I wrote I was leaving for youth camp as a helper at the nature center. I made it through the week and welcomed my greeting at home by all the pets. At camp we hat six kittens but not all of them were adopted and I ended up bringing one home. It was one of three that were not very tame, making them a little more difficult to adopt out. My three grandaughters were at camp and had a ball. It was fun seeing them running up and down the paths, calling out greetings to me.

Enough about my adventure. The lower dose radiation sounds better to me and I will be cheering for you all the way. Praying too!

Colleague / friend / acquaintance....Interesting thoughts you shared. I think actually that colleague and acquaintance are more easily defined than friend. To me friend is a word with precious meaning, great value......sometimes we tend to use it too lightly but it is apparent to me that you are surrounded by friends, numbering many, whether physically near or not.

Thank you for giving so much insight and information as you dig and study and weigh the pros and cons.

Love, Emily

Friday, August 11, 2006 11:20:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura:

Been keeping up with your posts and I relate to your comment about friends. This is something I've been exploring while being "bored". The "bored" part is something that you had recommended a couple of months ago, remember? It seems like ages ago!
And, where does the fight come from? I watched someone very close to me fight to the nth degree. It can be scary, I'm sure for the fighter. And, it has a definate effect on those around the fighter. I'm trying to put words around it, but somehow I the words don't adequately describe the emotions, etc.
Godspeed in Mexico. We keep praying for you here in Lakeville, MA.

Love, Pauline

Saturday, August 12, 2006 4:27:00 AM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Dear Laura,

I will be praying for safe travel and new healing. You have so much courage.


Saturday, August 12, 2006 11:07:00 AM

Blogger Stacy Parson said...

Hello Laura,

I'm fascinated by the two explorations you're in around the fight and the nature of the relationships in your life. I'm particularly drawn in by the question of what is it to stand with the fighter, and all of the places that the House episode is having you look (I know exactly which episode you're talking about).

I know that earlier in our relationship it was important for me to understand how you viewed me - as a casual acquaintence?, a close acquaintence?, a nuisance?, a colleague? A friend? I think one of the reasons it was important for me to have this information was because then I would know what was 'appropriate' in terms of how much to insert myself into your life. I would know more about how much to offer, to assume, to risk. Even as I read your Aug. 11 post, I found myself wondering, that as you are exploring these definitions and mapping them to what your needs ( and maybe even expectations) are, how would I be considered? What if one of us viewed our relationship as a friendship while the other viewed us as close acquaintences? What if there is a disconnect? A misalignment like on House?

Whatever the label, what I know is that you make my heart smile, and I dare say that I do that for you too. We spark and delight each other intellectually. We invite each other further and further into our respective worlds. We respect and honor each other. We explore together. We want significant and precious things for the other. And at some level, I suspect we want even more from each other. For me, I'm not sure what label would be the right container for all of this. For me, whatever the label it would shout out the sacred, sweet trust that I experience. It would tell of the joy and deep well of gratitude that the thought of you evokes in me.

What I think I know from our time together is that if I was to do it over, I'd be less careful/cautious about letting my affection for you, my love for you show up. I would depend less on the label of the relationship to grant me permission to extend, open, and offer to you.

I hope I can keep this wisdom present, and be with you - stand with you - with this knowing.

I love you more than I can explain - more than I can understand, and the mystery of that is beautiful to me.

Love, Stacy

Saturday, August 12, 2006 2:27:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara said...

Hi Laura

I used to read bedtime stories to my children every night. We all loved it. So when you asked for veggie stories I thought how fun and this story came to mind. Okay the bedtime story bit at the beginning was a digression.

My daughter, Jen, became a vegetarian about 5 years ago. Sounds like a good move - but it wasn't. Because she didn't like to cook or shop and wanted her food 'fast' - not worrying too much about nutrition. She didn't actually like that many vegetables and she ate a lot of processed junk. She had asthma, ear infections and bronchitis as a child and these began to recur. Needless to say she was sick a LOT.

Fast forward to about 2 years ago. She was beginning to like to cook a little but was still very unwilling to expend too much energy. However, she realized she need to do something. When she was visiting us in Vancouver I took her to naturopathic doctor - a young woman with a great way of relating. She had a 1 1/2 hour session with the doctor who took an in depth history and did some tests. Jen returned a week later for the results and 'words of wisdome'. The doctor told her many things but the one thing that really resonated and stood out for Jen was that she should eat vegetables and fruits of as many COLOURS as possible each day.

Jen took the advice to heart and when she returned to LA, where she lives, she began to change her ways. She is still a vegetarian and now she knows how to eat well. She grocery shops, cooks (and enjoys it), buys mainly organic and is MUCH healthier. And I am breathing a sigh of relief.

Good night, Laura. Sending you love and healing vibes. Love B:}

Saturday, August 12, 2006 6:45:00 PM

Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Hello Laura -we're back from 5 days camping across from Takkakaw Falls (the second highest falls in Canada)- we hiked and hiked and David took about 600 photos to show you where we hiked - every step of the way, I'm sure. The beauty of the Rockies, the rivers and waterfalls, and lakes ( I swam in one with my friend Shelley - perhaps you could hear our shrieks chez toi?) - the beauty was replenishing to our souls - and you and Judy were there with us- in our hearts. You would have enjoyed looking out from the tent at the falls and hearing its roar all night long.

Now you are leaving for Mexico and we will be leaving on Friday for the Queen Charlotte Islands for about 10 days. You and Judy will be with us in our hearts there as we walk the wild beaches and explore the dense mossed forests with decaying totem poles.

All I know is that when I think of the distinction between friend and aquaintance, it's the energy flow from our hearts that lets me know -and sometimes a good friend can feel like an aquaintance and sometimes an aquaintance like a dear friend.

And you, dear Laura, make me smile when I think of you, and so does Judy. That's my heart speaking out loud.

Our love and hope and tons of hugs are with you and Judy during your sojourn in Mexico.

Saturday, August 12, 2006 7:05:00 PM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Hi Laura, I felt your peace of mind as you wrote about your decision to head to Mexico for treatment. I'm just sorry you have to deal with all the new hassles with traveling because of Thursday's events. Although I imagine you trying to make sense of it all as you journey to Mexico. Sending you love and light and healing and working computers...By the way, I love the cheer....Lots of love, Susan

Saturday, August 12, 2006 10:41:00 PM

Anonymous Linda J. said...

Hi there Laura

I just want to say yeahhh to Lisa's rap. It captures all the things that are hard to put into conversation. A rap can do it everytime :-)

Go cut that new edge in Mexico.

Linda x

Sunday, August 13, 2006 1:07:00 AM

Blogger Leslie Eveland said...

Hola Laura,

Sending my love to you in Tiajuana.
I hope the trip down wasn't too bad, and I pray the radiation goes well.



Monday, August 14, 2006 12:14:00 PM

Blogger Leslie Eveland said...

Hola Laura,

Sending my love to you in Tiajuana.
I hope the trip down wasn't too bad, and I pray the radiation goes well.



Monday, August 14, 2006 12:14:00 PM

Blogger Leslie Eveland said...

Hola Laura,

Sending my love to you in Tiajuana. Hang in there!



Monday, August 14, 2006 12:15:00 PM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

Just in case the computer is working, I want you to know that you are held and loved. There is a whole community here that is loving you.


Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:46:00 AM

Anonymous Mary Baker said...

Dear Laura:

i'm wishing you lots of love and courage in Mexico. I loved seeing you on Sunday and you looked magnificent - lavender becomes you! I pray that the radiation takes care of the tumors...I'm so impressed by your diligence - man alive!! You are the dog that aint gonna let go of that bone!! An inpiration and a gorgeous woman...Keep on turckin' honey...

Love from Mary

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:54:00 PM

Blogger nancy ratey said...

HI! Well, it only taken me A YEAR to read how to post a comment! guess i needed you to kick me in the butt my dear! oh boy..............
anyway, i think of every day and have you in my prayers!
I was going through photos 2 weeks ago and found one of you and i when you visited boston! as soon as i figure out how to scan it (yeah, yeah, it wont be a year!) i'll get it posted!
OH! OH! john's oldest daughter got married 3 weeks ago- she is 27! remember her? when you met she was 13 or 14! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW FAST TIME FLYS??? LOVE YOU- NANCY

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 5:06:00 AM

Blogger nancy ratey said...

hi laura! FINALLY! YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAA i learned how to post! it only took me a year to figure it out! guess i needed you kicking my butt! hee hee
i think of you every day and have you in my prayers!
guess what? i was going through photos and found some of you and i when you were visiting boston YEARSSSSSS ago! i'll scan and post (sooner than a year!)
also, can you believe johns oldest daugher, jessie got married 3 weeks ago? remember her? she was 14, or so when you met her! she's not 27! YIKES! time flys!
love you! i hope this gets posted! more coming soon!
xoxoxo nancita

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 5:12:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hope all is going well with the treatment and lisa's cheer is just fantastic :)!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 12:03:00 PM

Blogger Helen House said...

Hola Bonita Laura,

Drip...... drip........... drip.............

That's the sound of things working.

zzzzt...... zzzzzzt..... zzzzzt..........

so it that.


that's relief.


Either a good hug or a tasty vegetable.


The sound of my waiting plane.

I'm complete........

The sound of the end of Fulfillment in Boston this coming weekend.

I think I'll lead this one for you Darlin'. You were the values woman. Still are, it seems. So, as you honor yours by persistently choosing life and learning and connecting and inspiring through it, I'll get a wee bit passionate with that group this weekend and call them (or kick them?) towards the ol' radical act. Seems that choosing magnificence shouldn't need to be so radical. I'll think on that one.

Love you loads,


Thursday, August 17, 2006 6:08:00 AM

Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Well, you know it is all made up and, are you sure you are not just making this up so you and Judy can keep on trekking south of the border and do cool work with miracle workers.

Let's see, you make up cancer, Judy retires, and you two go on adventures all over the place meeting cool people and contemplating really cool questions. Not quite sure why you make up IV's and fevers but must be something.

For me, I am making up more child custody battles and have spent all this week in court fighting the same fight we have been fighting for ten years. Now, why do I make that up? Don't know but been doing it for ten full years now.

And you are right, the perspective on the fight changes, and morphs, and gets scary and we feel defensive, and then we feel strong, and we are optimistic, and we feel defeated and we are confident and then we are not. It all goes along with the fight and I, like you, continue to look for the learning.

Many, many blessings dear sister and a big hug to Judy, she soooooooooo deserves it!



Thursday, August 17, 2006 10:33:00 AM

Anonymous Isha said...

Dearest Laura and community of blog friends,

Whenever doubt or fear arises, here is the place to rest your thoughts and revive your courage:

from the current issue of Ode Magazine:

According to the British medical magazine What Doctors Don’t Tell You (Jan. 2006), spontaneous remissions occur much more often that we think. This has been documented for many years.

The American Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS), which conducts research into consciousness, studied 1,860 cases of spontaneous remission. The conclusion: One in 20 cases of infectious and parasitic illness, hormonal disturbance and immune problems heal by themselves, as do 7 percent of all cancers of the digestive organs, bones and soft tissues. Twelve percent of all cases of skin and lymphatic cancers and 19 percent of reproductive and urinary cancers also heal spontaneously. In addition, IONS suspects the number of spontaneous remissions is heavily underestimated because they are rarely reported in the medical literature.

A strong belief in a particular treatment—known as the placebo effect—certainly plays a role in such spontaneous remissions. The reverse also appears to be true, according to research. People who resign themselves and give up helplessly in the face of a life-threatening condition die more often and sooner than “fighters”: This is the less-publicized “nocebo” effect. Meditation and a drastic change in lifestyle apparently also have an effect on the outcome.

This shouldn’t be such a surprise, that the body is capable of healing itself with medical intervention. After all, our bodies do this all the time with minor ailments and injuries. Given the time and a positive mental framework, the body is often able to heal itself under serious circumstances. It is, in fact, a miraculous thing…

Saturday, August 19, 2006 7:15:00 PM

Anonymous Hesteah said...

Buenos Dias Laura,

Hope your Mexico treatments are treating you right and showing those cancer cells the "exit" sign.

My veggie story for you:
Back in my single days I joined a farm coop that delivers organic local vegatables to the city (I was living in SF) you get a box of whatever veggies were picked each week. The fist day my veggie box arrived I excitedly opened it and examined the contents with awe as most of these I have seen and cooked before, but one vegetable was a complete surprise. I called my friend (who also gets the box) and asked what was the name of the vegetable that looked like a green alien flying saucer and how did one prepare it. When she got done laughing at me, she patiently gave me good advice on how to cook patty-pan squash. I have similary fallen in love with new and unexpected vegetables as I continue to recieve my weekly boxes and am amazed at the variety, colors and tastes that Mother Nature conjures up.

Sending love and happy thoughts...may your veggies never wilt.

kisses and hugs


Saturday, August 19, 2006 7:30:00 PM

Blogger Judy Pike said...

Hello All- My sweetest heart got home safely thanks to her wonderful sister, Lesley who picked her up at the airport. I was really glad to see them both, really, really glad to see Laura. I knew she would be taken care of in Mexico and I needed some time off. I had a wonderful week with friends and got my tank filled up again ready to be back in the fight with the love of my life. She is the strongest person I have ever known, and she mine. Isn't that nice. Thank you all for your posts and your humor and love . It means alot to me and I know it means the world to Laura. With love and respect. Judy

Sunday, August 20, 2006 7:34:00 AM

Blogger Judy Pike said...

Hello All- My sweetest heart got home safely thanks to her wonderful sister, Lesley who picked her up at the airport. I was really glad to see them both, really, really glad to see Laura. I knew she would be taken care of in Mexico and I needed some time off. I had a wonderful week with friends and got my tank filled up again ready to be back in the fight with the love of my life. She is the strongest person I have ever known, and she mine. Isn't that nice. Thank you all for your posts and your humor and love . It means alot to me and I know it means the world to Laura. With love and respect. Judy

Sunday, August 20, 2006 7:34:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Laura--Lisa's rap song is AWESOME and sounds exactly like you both. There is not a day that i don't fire light and heat and love your way--and Judy's. I just got a hummingbird bird feeder a week ago and sit in my hot tub waiting for them to alight. Three days ago, the first hummingbirds came...and reminded me of your deck and your grouchy hummingbirds and your dear selves. Deep, fierce hummingbird love and prayers to both of you.


Monday, August 21, 2006 12:29:00 PM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hi, Sweet Laura - Welcome back, Brave One. And the battle continues, as it should. Why not? You are fighting for that which is most precious to you and those who care about you...your life, your choices, your unfulfilled dreams. Fight on, Brave One. Take a breath, and fight on.

Love you.

Monday, August 21, 2006 5:09:00 PM

Anonymous Pat O said...

Dear Laura,
Welcome home. Home...what a lovely word and what a lovely place to be. Be...just to be...
One of the lessons you've taught me through this blog is to 'be' in the present and the importance of savoring that.
And in that being to ask why...and then ask why not...and then ask why...and then ask why not.
Keep looking...and just for today (as I do live one day at a time), I am savoring in this moment the life that wants to happen and turning up that dial that you have us look at and turn it up...waaaaaay up.
Can you hear it? It is beautiful, sweet flowing music.
Loving you and sending you loving thoughts.
Pat O

Monday, August 21, 2006 6:52:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi Laura,

Welcome Home Lovely One,

I hope your Mexico trip gave you just the boost you needed. I am visioning your body totally healed and ready to move mountains really soon. I just got back from a wonderful three day retreat in the mountains of Colorado with a new team that I am working with The Third Zone, I have found a wonderful community of powerful coaches who are really playing Big and I am a honored to be a part of their Bigger Game. This entire team of people are awesome and I am so grateful to be a part of their Vision, I will tell you more when I see your wonderful self. I know you will be excited at what we are up to.

I have come home with a renewed awareness of the power of Thought, Belief, Intention and I really get Your Fight in a way that I haven't before. So Sweet Laura, I know that you are healing now and each and every day you are getting better and better ....

Your Life will Explode with Renewed Energy and Renewal for the wonders of your own healing and the power of who you are. I am confident of that ...

So Dear Sister, I am here seing that strong body as it heals and moves forward in life and I look forward to our future together as we Rock the World with the gifts of Passion and Love and Healing.

May It Be So,

Love and Light,


Wednesday, August 23, 2006 11:34:00 AM

Blogger Zoe Windsor said...

Welcome Home Laura!

And thanks Judy for your posting. It is lovely to hear from you.

Sending much love
Zoe x

Thursday, August 24, 2006 4:32:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura, surrounding you with lots of love from Charleston! sounds like you have been busy healing that body of yours....I loved reading about the IONS research and am a believer of the power...what a resource this blog is to all that partake...another way you contimue to bless our world with your presence. Bless you forever and always for who you are for me and for "us".
Tom is taking Kate back to college this weekend, Tommy has already started his senior year, I'm still unpacking boxes from the move from CT to SC. Interesting feel in this part of the US...lots to create from!
Loving you with this newer energy too! Peg, Tom, Tommy and Katy

Friday, August 25, 2006 9:39:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura
Still here, still thinking about ya, and sending strength and energy from me to you.
Jeanne b

Friday, August 25, 2006 1:57:00 PM

Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

Checking in to say hello from Vermont. Fall is in the air in the Green Mountains and the blackberries are at their peak. I've been on a work sabbatical this month, an plan that came straight out of R4. I miss you, Laura. I think of you almost every day and say a prayer for your health and happiness.

XO Jeanne C

Saturday, August 26, 2006 5:51:00 PM

Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hey Laura sweetheart...

Welcome home from Mexico...

Fall is already in the air a bit here in Boston... John and I spent last week in a little rustic cabin right on the beach in Truro... just below Provincetown on Cape Code last week. It was luscious to roll out of bed, make a cup of coffee and step right out onto the beach. And very nice to have a week of relaxing.

I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of love... (and some for Judy, too). Keep that fight going strong.

Love you,


Sunday, August 27, 2006 2:16:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Dear Laura,
I have been on the road a few days and this is the first chance I have had to get online and see what all has been going on here on the blog.
It was good to hear you were back from Mexico and I hope each day you are feeling strength and light and hope pouring in, into your being.
My brother and I have driven from Oregon to Oklahoma for a family reunion. It is great to see aunts and uncles and cousins. I enjoy meeting people along the way, they can be such a delight.
I will enjoy reading all the posts and catching a glimpse into the hearts and minds of your friends as they each speak to you.
Catch you again soon.
Love, Emily

Sunday, August 27, 2006 8:57:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Dear Laura,

It was wonderful to learn of the validation you received from Dr. Stritter. That is a big wind-in-the-sail! Let that knowledge flow to all the cells that break down the cancer and carry it away, let it make them more hungry in their work.

Thoughts come, questions, even fears come.......the mind, body and soul making assessment. Seems most likely to be a natural process not to be totally avoided but given only its brief moment.

Praying for the path of your healing to begin to grow easier, the light stronger, that you be warmed by many loving thoughts. Thank you for sharing the hug, especially for Karen and all of us.

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Monday, August 28, 2006 9:41:00 PM

Blogger Jeff Jacobson said...

Hi Sweetie. Thanks for what you said about your "shake and bakes," that they are good, that it's your immune system et al kicking in. Hooray! probably doesn't make them feel any better, but at least you know why they are there.

I am caught up with your comments. Man, veggies and fruit are running through my head right now. I just ordered The China Study online from the local library. I do okay with veggies, but I know I could do more/better. Thanks for bringing them up so much. Your repeated recommendations ARE having a great impact on me, so thanks.

Whether you and I are fab friends, Devil Wears Prada co-watchers (you too, Judy!), Tribe members, CTI colleagues, fellow coaches, co-buttkickers, or whatever, I want you to know that I treasure you, LOVE your writing, and am sending so much power through this keyboard to your immune system and for a healthy liver and yummy, healthy cells that my laptop is SHAKING (okay, it isn't really, I made that part up, except when I made it shake with my knees, which might be cheating, I think).

I love you, Laura, and am sending you a BIG WET SLOPPY ONE!

Jeffy J.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 12:38:00 PM

Blogger Jeff Jacobson said...

Hi Sweetie. Thanks for what you said about your "shake and bakes," that they are good, that it's your immune system et al kicking in. Hooray! probably doesn't make them feel any better, but at least you know why they are there.

I am caught up with your comments. Man, veggies and fruit are running through my head right now. I just ordered The China Study online from the local library. I do okay with veggies, but I know I could do more/better. Thanks for bringing them up so much. Your repeated recommendations ARE having a great impact on me, so thanks.

Whether you and I are fab friends, Devil Wears Prada co-watchers (you too, Judy!), Tribe members, CTI colleagues, fellow coaches, co-buttkickers, or whatever, I want you to know that I treasure you, LOVE your writing, and am sending so much power through this keyboard to your immune system and for a healthy liver and yummy, healthy cells that my laptop is SHAKING (okay, it isn't really, I made that part up, except when I made it shake with my knees, which might be cheating, I think).

I love you, Laura, and am sending you a BIG WET SLOPPY ONE!

Jeffy J.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 12:38:00 PM

Blogger Jeff Jacobson said...

Hi Sweetie. Thanks for what you said about your "shake and bakes," that they are good, that it's your immune system et al kicking in. Hooray! probably doesn't make them feel any better, but at least you know why they are there.

I am caught up with your comments. Man, veggies and fruit are running through my head right now. I just ordered The China Study online from the local library. I do okay with veggies, but I know I could do more/better. Thanks for bringing them up so much. Your repeated recommendations ARE having a great impact on me, so thanks.

Whether you and I are fab friends, Devil Wears Prada co-watchers (you too, Judy!), Tribe members, CTI colleagues, fellow coaches, co-buttkickers, or whatever, I want you to know that I treasure you, LOVE your writing, and am sending so much power through this keyboard to your immune system and for a healthy liver and yummy, healthy cells that my laptop is SHAKING (okay, it isn't really, I made that part up, except when I made it shake with my knees, which might be cheating, I think).

I love you, Laura, and am sending you a BIG WET SLOPPY ONE!

Jeffy J.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 12:39:00 PM

Blogger Jeff Jacobson said...

Just in case you all needed to read my posting today three times, I somehow managed to post it that many times. So. Read it. All three times. I'm sure it'll get more exciting by the 3rd time.
Postingly redundant,

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 12:42:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Thank you for your newest posting. It is good to hear that you are still moving in all the right directions. I loved hearing all your wonderful intutitive hits about your healing and getting a BIG STAR by an expert, YAHOO, I am sure that felt really good. She sounds like a wonderful person to validate your options with and someone who has a good sense of what you are doing and has the medical knowledge of both East and West ...

I am sending you my love and healing and want to also validate all that you are doing in healing youself. You are going for it Girlfriend... creating healing and strength in your beautiful body...

I see you healthy and strong and vibrant for many more years. May it Be So.

I am feeling very Joyful today on my Birthday, and I am sending Joy bubbles along to you and Judy.....May they Delight and Surround you Both with Warmth... and Big HUGS...



Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:21:00 PM

Blogger caseyandjenn said...

Laura! I dropped in, it's been so long and I know you know what I've been up to...oh what fun! And it has been, parts of it anyway! I've been getting updates on you along the way from all your angels, which has been so nice to have that link to you!

Super great to hear the latest with you and I bet it was so validating to hear you are doing all the right work! Case and I continue to visualize all of it doing it's job bringing you your new vibrant body.

Looking forward to seeing you, in less than 2 weeks now-yikes! Smooches to you and Judy-we love you.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006 1:58:00 PM

Anonymous Karen Kimsey-House said...

Hello dear Laura:

Back home from Pheonix tonight and glad to be home. Thanks so much for your love and prayers dear one.

I have never been more connected to the huge gift of LIFE and the desire to LIVE!! LIVE!!! LIVE!!

I can't make my keyboard shake either (isn't great how Jeff J can always make one smile) but I'm sending you as much love and passion and down right ENTHUSIASM as I can pump through my computer keys.

I think you of getting up tonight for a pee or whatever you get up in the night for. .. and visiting your Wonder Woman night light. Tell her hi for me and. . ..thanks. . . Thanks for the gift of this sweet life and for all the love that is out for me. . .for you! And for the gift of loving. . .the huge, wide FULLNESS of it just blows my doors off. ..it really does.

So as you visit Wonder Woman tonight, may you know how hugely and completely you are loved.



Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:37:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Dear Laura & Judy

I don't know Judy but I really want to acknowledge what an amazing, loving, 'just do it' woman you are. Thank you Judy! For being you, being with Laura and doing what needs to be done. I can feel the love in what Laura writes.

And Laura, I read your words and don't really know what to say except keep fighting. Know there is so much love and healing being sent your way.

Your blog is such a gift. Thank you. Love Barbara

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 10:00:00 PM

Blogger Jon Benfer said...

Dear Laura and All,

Continuing in the eat your veggies line, here is a significant new study on DRINKING your veggies: 76% less risk of Alzheimers in those who drink fruit and vegetable juices!



Thursday, August 31, 2006 3:15:00 AM

Anonymous heather diddel said...

Upstate New York
August 31,2006

Laura- m'dear -

So good to see you latest entries. I'm DELIGHTED that you and Judy have found Gwen. YOU GO, GIRL! Let's rocket that C stuff right out of your system!

Sending you thoughts of healing with ease...you've already done "hard", sweet heart;time for more ease...warm juicy blessings oozing over under around and above you...sweet clear white light wrapping you and Judy in love and peace and healing....

mucho love from your Upstate NY Fan Club

Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:44:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hey Laura,

I am on the road for a couple more weeks, but check in here regularly and wanted to let you know I am here, thinking of you, praying for your continued strength and fierceness of fighting.

A hug to you from me.....Emily

Friday, September 01, 2006 7:42:00 PM

Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hi Laura,

My thoughts are with you and your shakes and bakes... fight-on sweetheart...

I will be at a leadership retreat this week coming up , and then again in two weeks... so I'll be camped out in the pool house a lot this month --- I hope to give you a hug in person --

love you, and love to judy --


Sunday, September 03, 2006 7:30:00 AM

Blogger Helen House said...

Hi Laura,

Have been thinking about you a lot lately and keep hoping for another posting. No pressure... Just know that you are held and loved and missed when it's quiet here.

I'm envisioning you full of leaks. The good kind. Like when your water bill goes up, but you don't know why... there's got to be a leak somewhere you can't see. What's different about what I'm seeing for you is that you have cancer leaks. Spots throughout the system where the cancer leaks out and leaves you. No need to call the plumber because we WANT it to leak out and EXIT. And with these leaks, the bills go DOWN instead of up. Sort of a silly metaphor, but that's what I'm best at. :P

I'm off to Korea on Saturday with my beau! I'll lead an ITB there, but we're also going to travel and see the sights a bit. He's got aunties there so we'll hopefully be visiting with them. Andrew, my beau, says I'll be the tallest, blondest, loudest woman they ever met. Hmmmmmm.... should be interesting! I wouldn't be off on this journey if it wasn't for you and your persistent vision. I'll eat restorative kim chi in your honor!!

Lovin' you,


Tuesday, September 05, 2006 10:03:00 AM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hi, Dear Laura - I always get a little worried when a few days go by without hearing from you. I wonder what you're going through and what you're dealing with that's keeping you away. And I pray harder for you (so maybe that's a good thing? :-) I pray that you are comfortable and painfree and as productive as you want to be. And I pray that the healing continues as your body gains vitality and strength. Thinking of you in Texas, with lots of love!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006 12:52:00 PM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Dear Laura,

I talked with Karen Kimsey-House this morning and she said she had seen you on Saturday. She also said that you looked gorgeous! So, I'm just reporting a sighting for the rest of the blog group:) I echo the others who would love to hear your voice here again.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006 2:57:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura & Judy -

You two are so BRAVE. And what a beautiful example of partnership the two of you are.

Sharna is in Phoenix this weekend, training the Arizona Girls for a Change coaches. Laura - as you know, you will be there with her as she trains them in ways to support the girls who are going to work to create social change in their communities.

Me - I'm running a 21-miler on Saturday - the last big run in preparation for my October marathon. When it is hard and I want to quit and give up, I will think of my Vegetable Coach and push harder.

Love, strength, and FIGHT to you both,


Thursday, September 07, 2006 2:16:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

As you wrote in your Blog today, I am assuming that you did not get anymore Shake and Bakes on Wednesday, THANK THE GODDESS...... you had enough ! ! and she knew it. Three in 26 hours, OH MY, and you are still breating and fighting the fight and LIVING... YES A GREAT BIG YAHOO FOR LIFE. I will go along with that.

You guys are just awesome in how you are being with one another in your life and the fight, giving one another the space and love and caring that you both need.

I so enjoyed being with Judy the other day and sending you our love and prayers as we walked in Nature. You were not too far from our thoughts and love at any given moment. I am so glad that you were with people who could support you during the Shake and Bake. It sounds pretty scary just in the words you write, and to have to go through them physically and emotionally is asking a lot of your body.

And you are up to it Laura, we are all here for you as you keep fighting the fight and LIVING the moments....I am right here not more than a BLOG away, thanks for the updates on where you are at both physicall and emotionally. I know you have little energy and to still come to the BLOG to write, is a gift.

Loving you from Alameda,


Thursday, September 07, 2006 4:59:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura--3 shake 'n bakes in a day--oh, my Lord. I bet in some ways it feels like baby labor--just grabs your body and won't let go. I'm glad Ms. Jude is such an awesome midwife to your detox process. GET THAT CANCER OUT!!!

We had a huge storm in Virginia last Friday and lost trees--as well as power for three days. Tail end of hurricane ernesto. I was impatient because I want to row my little boat, which is mighty tippy under the best of circumstances and these weren't. Rowing is really rhythmic, and sometimes I chant pieces of Lisa's rap song as I go--it actually take my attention off the technical aspects of the stroke and improves it considerably. A sweaty prayer, this is.

I'm in Chicago now, and then in Mexico, but Art and I will be at your house on the 19th and I'm looking forward to hugs and maybe a hot tub with Judy.

The hummingbird feeder only attracted four hummingbirds. It also attracted 100 big scary hornets. Don't know what plan B is yet, but I look foward to seeing YOUR feeder.

Praying for you, darling. Always.


Friday, September 08, 2006 3:42:00 AM

Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Alive and Living Laura!

She Shaked!
She Baked!
and Holy MOLY She Ached!

But alas... with some love and good care... and INTENSE perseverance and commitment to LIFE...

She made it through and found time to visit us here on the BLOG. B.L.O.G. Big Love On Going.


and writing to us.

and inspiring us.

and letting yourself be loved by Judy and all the rest of us.

All good.

I'm in a bit of a mad dash to get ready for Korea tomorrow. Can't believe it's finally here! It's amazing how bogged down I can get with all the particles involved in going overseas for just two weeks. Being a single mom sure does complicate that process! I don't want to miss the thrill of this journey because I'm lost in all the particles of it. Savoring the space seems SO important right now.

When I think of you and your Fighting of the FIGHT, I imagine it would be really easy to get lost in the details of what it takes to fight. Yet you keep modeling for us how you remember to savor the precious space between all the detaily particles. Whether it's Judy's hand on your leg saying "Thank you for living"... or enjoying your garden... or time with friends... or just plain SUNshine... you seem to crawl in between the particles, shove them apart, and maximize the space. Thank you for that.

Must pack. It will take me two days to get there, so by this time on Monday morning, I will be fully immersed in the unfamiliar. For a lot of our leaders, that's becoming commonplace. For me, it feels like big stuff. I will bring you back a story or two to inspire you and let you feel your ripples reach across the ocean... across cultures... into the human heart - the one place I'll be while there that I am familiar with!

Much love to you and Judy today and always.


Friday, September 08, 2006 4:55:00 AM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Dear Laura,

I just read what Caroline wrote...I had the exact same thought about the "shake and bake" that you experience. It's a natural and common reaction after childbirth. It's actually the "fight or flight" thing. So much hard work and labor to birth the baby...lots of shaking after the birth.
So, I'm thinking this is your body's way of acknowledging your hard work, hard labor, fighting for your life.
I love hearing about how you and Judy support and love each other. It's an amazing gift.


Friday, September 08, 2006 9:32:00 AM

Anonymous cjeanneb said...

Originally posted
Friday, September 08, 2006 7:43:58 AM

cjeanneb said...
Dear Laura,
Some random thinking:
I think of you in the grip of shake and bakes and my heart reaches out to you and Judy.
Your writing makes me think of the miracle our body is, all those cells each with a purpose. And what a miracle our spirit is. And how sabatoging the old mind can be when it tries to dominate. And I keep being reminded (in the strangest times and places) of the strength there is in allowing ourselves to show our vulnerability. (possibly the most valuable lesson I learned from you and other CTI leaders)
It seems to me that real faith can only mean anything if we allow that we are vulnerable.
So keep faith - my prayers for you - Live Life!
Jeanne b

Friday, September 08, 2006 6:38:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Hi Laura

I didn't know Shake & Bake came in the particular and strangely malevolent variety you are getting. I wouldn't have thought it would sell - so I guess you are getting those annoying 'free samples' whether you want them or not.

Okay - bad joke - hope it made you smile :) Doesn't sound like there are a lot of smiles right now.

My heart is so full for you and Judy and the fight you are in. Sometimes as I read your words I find myself holding my breath. So now I am taking deep cleansing breaths and picturing you out in the woods at the Mother Tree with the Earthquakes as we did out best imitations of monkeys or bears or lobsters or Elvis (with our knees shaking!) up in the trees. And you cheered, cajolled, pushed, and 'LAURA-ed' us to succeed.

So Laura, right back to you. I've got your rope. On belay! Love Barbara

Saturday, September 09, 2006 10:07:00 PM

Blogger Judy Pike said...

Hello All-

Laura and I went to Jenn and Casey's Commitment ceremony yesterday at a beautiful retreat space high above the ocean. The fog eventually came in but it was a beautiful day and a wonderful ceremony. Jenn and Casey rented our little rental house, living together for the first time in a very small space. They were good friends and the best tenants we ever had and we were sad when they left on an adventure to Asia for 6 months. Casey proposed to Jenn on a beach in Vietnam. He had the ring made here before they left and waited for the perfect time to ask the BIG question. Casey and Jenn wrote a play that their friends performed at the ceremony and it was so delightful and sweet.

It was an amazing day to see two people love and make a commitment to each with such love. Laura and I danced with many others and Laura looked so beautiful and felt so strong after having a really hard week. Everyday is a new day and I am happy, more than happy to be spending it with Laura. Even as crazy as life can be sometimes there are these pearls , days like yesterday that just make my heart smile. So glad Casey and Jenn are in our lives. And you too.

Love to you all and your families.

Sunday, September 10, 2006 10:15:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Dear Laura:

Kick butt!fight for Life THE ONLY FIGHT THAT'S RIGHT Woman !!

I am writing to you tonight from Toronto the night before the Team Training Intensive begins. This was a baby born in a leadership program with you as my leader my stake was for everyone to take ORSC - this is Relationship systems work oriented to workgroups and teams. You are the Mother of this endeavor as you stared me down and said "make this concrete" This is not an ad - we are sold out with a long waiting list. This is a place to thank you. Thank You - for being hardcore. My experience of you was not chummy or buddylike you ripped me a new #$$%^&*( in leadership essentially. So thank you for the kick in the ass you gave me the new and revised person that makes things happen - "make things concrete" - That was your edict and blessing to me..

May I give you back the gift in "Stay Alive Dammit!" You are not done yet!!! Fight through the illusion!
You are a strong, brilliant, empowered, woman who is undergoing a challenge. Breathe in the health and the sweet perfume of life. Breath out the doubt. Breathe in the love and appreciation of even those that havent expressed it to you have for you.
You make a difference
You still have so much to offer. Breathe into the healing. You can do it!
You are loved - You have a unique presence to bring that is yours. It is needed. Breathe into that. Breathe into the want that you have - you have a WANT - you get to have that want. Breathe into the luxuriousness of that want.
Fight Fight
Fight The Only Fight Thats Right!
The Fight for Life
You are loved for being you. Simply you! Fight! Fight for All Lives!

With love,

Monday, September 11, 2006 8:57:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...


I am back at home after being on the road for almost three weeks and eager to read the blog. I was able to connect while on the road sometimes, but the last few days I was not able to connect.

You are such a wonderful communicator. I realize that each time I come here and read your message. I appreciate all that you say and share. In particular, your search for a cause or connetion for the staph....I know how that goes....with my Mom....always questioning whether I should have done this or that, so it is easy for me to relate to your thoughts. May your nutrition, treatments and antibiotics overcome the staph, and your determination! Fight!

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Monday, September 11, 2006 11:06:00 PM

Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Dear Laura and Judy - I love the image of the two of you dancing at the wedding. Such a strong image of aliveness and freedom - I can only imagine the shivers of elation running up and down you both as you were able to be free of treatment for that period of time.

Thank you Judy for sharing that event and for sharing your thoughts and feelings. And gobs of thank you hugs for your huge heart and opening it up over and over again to Laura - meeting her need for care and hope in her trying times. I have an image of an ever growing garden when I think of you so courageously meeting each new request of love. And your sharing is a further gift to me - grounding me as to the wonders of a warm and caring heart. Thank you.

And Laura - I have an image of your Zorba soul laughing and dancing - freed from the duties of treatment, shaking your way to feelings of elation. Wonder woman with a difference.

Thank you you two for sharing that magical afternoon.


Wednesday, September 13, 2006 11:33:00 AM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hello, Sweet Laura - I just read your latest posting on the topic of death, and I found myself sharply inhaling. What is it about that topic that takes our breath away...and redirects us to other conversations about not giving up hope and keeping the faith? Is it fear? Fear of what? Is it control? What's behind our discomfort? What's behind the sharp intake of breath?

I look forward to more dialogue around this and the learning for all of us. And I continue to pray for your healing and wellbeing.

Loving you lots in Texas.

Thursday, September 14, 2006 10:50:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura

I just read your note from yesterday. Sometimes - often - what is happening to you scares me so much...

I have been thinking - and talking about - how I have to live my life as much being me as possible. Get out from behind myself and see what happens and what the world wants of me. And there is something in your fight to live that seems like the baseline of all of it. Fight to have a life, goddamit. Don't waste a breath, a heart beat, being anything else.

I am sitting here trying to write a proposal for working with a team and there is something here - something I want to say to this team - don't waste a heartbea, a breath, fight, fight, fight.

You know we have so little time.

I don't know what I am saying except that your journey is cutting it all down - everything way down - to what really truly matters. Live. Breath. Dance. Kick ass.



Thursday, September 14, 2006 2:47:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Just saying Hi! Reaching out and touching you right now. B:}

Thursday, September 14, 2006 3:50:00 PM

Anonymous Camilla said...

Hi Laura, Dear One,
I have a special deck of cards that at friend made for me. They are simple and beautiful, each adorned with a picture of a unique flower on one side, and well, something mysteriously fitting for whomever it is meant for.

I picking on right now that is meant for you; I'm asking for your higher self to be co-active with my higher self and channel as message for you. Here goes...

It reminds: "You are awed and inspired by the beauty of Nature."

Well duh, anyone that knows you, knows that's true! So, make of that what you will, but I sure hope you're getting enough of that which connects you to the Beauty of your Being. Soak it up, Love.

On a note to you as my CoachLaura, Guess what?! The UC Berekely guys will be here tomorrow to pick up my Dad's Far East Asian library! (Did I tell you of the dream I had where after I told him our plan to give the library to UC Berkeley, he lay back peacefully, resting his head on a shelf?!) May Dad truly rest in peace and may his legacy live long in the book stacks he loved, for scholars from all over the world to enjoy for years to come!

Thanks for holding the torch for a miracle in this regard. Know that I'm holding one for you now...the miracle of living...May you feel well and whole, and wholly loved.
With love and peace,

Thursday, September 14, 2006 7:59:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

I am eager to read what you have to say on the subject of death and/or dying. No real 'experts' to turn to....they have already gone. An interesting observation from Plato...."The purpose of philosophy is to prepare us for death".....That brings us to examine, What is our philosophy?

Sending you beams of light from what is in my heart.....for a strong FIGHT and an even STRONGER FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

Love, Emily

Friday, September 15, 2006 1:22:00 AM

Anonymous Mary Driscoll said...

Hi dear Laura and Hi dear Judy:

Just dropping by to say Hello to both of you...I wish you a beautiful day, finding in nature what you need to sustain you - I think of you often and send my love, my courage and my caring...


Friday, September 15, 2006 8:51:00 AM

Anonymous Linda J. said...

Hi there Laura

I have been hanging out with a poet called David Whyte the last couple of days, with other wannabee creative writers/poets like myself. I believed it had an effect because when I read your recent blog entry I couldn't help but be reminded of the language of 'The Prophet', by Kahlil Gibran. I see it as a simple old book offering an understanding of living (eg. talk to us of children, friendships, joy and sorrow etc). Your entry inspired me to track the book down and see whether it talks of dying, it doesn't of dying, but I was moved by what it had to say when looking at what is it to die. Just a snippit: 'for what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun'.

Although this whole concept of dying is hard to talk of I think there are many of us that would explore this concept with you. This could result in a beautiful tapestry (metaphorically speaking)of understanding. I think this poetry stuff is working:-)

Much love


Sunday, September 17, 2006 6:27:00 AM

Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hello, Sweet Laura - I just read your posting on the jazz festival and am contemplating your inquiry on Savoring...

Sunday we had fourteen 7-year old girls in my backyard as they gathered for their first girl scout meeting of the year. In my house, we had their accompanying moms deep in thought as we planned out the rest of the year for these precious creatures. Many times I found myself staring out the window as I heard their peals of laughter as they swung on our tire swings or as they whished by the window on their coltish legs or as they screamed at each other in their high, nasal voices because, let's face it, with 14 girls there is no such thing as a normal tone of voice. And I savored their freedom, their pure enjoyment, their abondonment, their endless energy. Did I ever run that much? Did I ever lose myself that entirely in an afternoon? As it was, their afternoon flew by whereas ours seemed to drag and drag...I think I'm finally starting to understand the theory of relativity :)

I also enjoyed the picture posted of you in the collage at the "reunion." God, you look beautiful.

Continue the healing and enjoy the rest of your summer. We have 2 more days left before beautiful autumn. Love you.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 1:07:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

On Savoring,

I was in San Francisco today meeting a friend for lunch. I did not take the car in, instead I rode the Bus to SF, Judy would be proud of me, then I walked from the terminal to 9th and Market which is about a 30 minute walk, and it was very savory. The day was beautiful, the wonderful people in the City are a joy to behold and watch and listen as the sounds of the City are surrounding me. It is life, people living Life in so many ways. I have been very much into Savoring these days as I am taking a class on Awakening Joy and finding the moments of Joy each and every day to savor. It has helped me be so much more mindful of the Joy that I have in my life as well as the moments when Joy is not there and what that is about.

Now about Death, the first thing that comes to mind is from my experience with Hospice and being present with many people as they were in process of dying and what I witness was how hard it was too die ... I remember one women who I sat with for many hours as she tried to STOP breathing, that is not an easy thing to do, It reminded me of a women who is giving birth and how hard it is for her to keep breathing and how her breaths come in short gasps, it is very similar in what I witness in the death process, letting go of the breath takes time and energy. It is an immediate reaction to take the next breath, I often wonder how you stop breathing. How does one know when that last breath will happen.

In the book by Joan Didion, the title is escaping me right now, but she talked about one moment her husband was alive and waiting for dinner and within one breath he had died. It always makes me think that I am only one breath away from my death. What will be my last breath and am I taking advantage of all the breaths that I do take. Breathing is such a natural thing, to stop is hard for me to comprehend.

I just know I have always been fasinated by the death process ever since I witnessed my dad dying. It was the closest I ever felt to him and our connection was heartfelt, it was the one time when he could tell me he loved me. Which I was so grateful for.

So that is what comes up for me right now when you talk about Death. I am sure more will arise as we dialog on this subject.

Right now Savoring is a good thing, so I will savor your notes to us right now in this moment and I am sending you much love.

In Joy and Gratitude,


Tuesday, September 19, 2006 5:28:00 PM

Anonymous Barbara S said...

Dear Laura

You really know how to strike at the heart of the matter without holding back. To get our attention and make us think about life and also about death.

Life is to savour and we are ALL dying. Yet we delude ourselves, ignore it, think maybe "I" can cheat it. But when death comes knocking at our door there is nowhere to hide.

So in the meantime, I come to your blog and learn each time more about how to LIVE - to be alive. Thank you Laura. Keep living and being so fiercely alive you prod me (and others too) to be more alive. What else is there?

Sending you love, energy and beauty. Love B:}

Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:02:00 PM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Dearest Laura, you continue to invite me to ponder and to look at things that I would prefer to keep in the background. Can I be honest with you right now? I have written and erased about 5 lines of this posting in the last 5 minutes. And this is what happens whenever I come to the site to post. OK, I said it. I feel really dumb and awkward. And this is what would happen to me when I would be with my mom when she was dying with cancer. I just wanted to reach out and hug her. I just wanted to tell her all the things I held in my heart -- that I was scared, that I didn't want her to go, that she was so important to me and I couldn't imagine my life without her, that I needed her to be here because I would have questions and fears and she was the one I needed to talk to because she knew me best of all. And with her gone, who would really know the deep parts of me? And accept me completely with no questions asked? The one who knew immediately what was going on with me just by taking one look at my face. She knew me. And right now as I am writing this tears are streaming down my face and I feel a bit weird about dumping this on your blog. But then again, you are such an invitation -- and I am accepting your invitation right now. Laura, at one point I went into her room alone while she was in a state of labored breathing and I yelled out loud at God. It was as though everything that I had suppressed myself from saying to her came out as anger toward God for letting this happen. You see I didn't say everything I wanted to say to her because she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want me to cry because then she would cry and it would make her weak. So I pretty much walked on egg shells around her for the last 9 months of her life. I didn't know how to be around her. I didn't know what to say to her. On the day she died she had gone into a coma and was in a state of labored breathing. I went into her room to be alone with her and hold her hand. My anguish got the best of me and I yelled at God for doing this. My dad heard me yell and came rushing into the room. He got so angry at me and told me to stop because he said she could hear me. Oh man I felt even more awful. I just couldn’t hold it all in anymore. I had suppressed my feelings and everything I had wanted to say to her for so long and now I knew it was too late to tell her. So it came out the way it did. But she gave me a sign that she knew how I felt about her and that she would always be with me. She squeezed my hand as she took her last breath. A true example of a fulfillment moment for me – the hardest damn thing but something I would never have wanted to miss – to be with her when she died.
So I feel pretty mucked up about this topic. I know I know I'm supposed to leave these things behind -- I'm the adult now and should be able to handle things differently. The truth is I want to say similar things to you. I don't want you to die. I keep wondering, how can I pray for you differently so that this time it will work --- as though I'm trying to find the right incantation to recite to create the miracle. The bottom-line is that I don’t' think there is one. But then if that is my belief then perhaps I won't be contributing to your healing. How can I, do I contribute to your healing? And have I done or said anything that might be taking any ounce of healing away from you? Have my infrequent visits to your blog impacted you? Can you feel my prayers and thoughts for you?
There are several precious moments I have had with you Laura since the first time I met you at Leadership in 2001 that will never, ever leave me. The most recent one occurred during our closure call with the CTI leaders when I truly felt like I was holding your hand over the telephone line and you and I were the only ones on the phone. I never had a mentor until I met you and many times over the last 4 years I felt as though I was taking up too much of your time. You really, really need to know from me that you have had a huge impact on my life -- really. And I wish I could be looking in your eyes as I say this instead of having to write it -- uh oh, here come the tears streaming down my face again...lots of them.
OK...I'm going to stop now. I am realizing that when I hit the send button, I have just exposed my vulnerabilities beyond between you and me. And I'm feeling this pull to want to go back and make everything I wrote more "appropriate." Oh well, as I said you're the invitation. You have been an invitation since this blog began and frankly long before that as well.
One more thing before I sign off. I would love to design something with you. One of us is going to cross over to the afterlife before the other and there is no reason that we have to stop communicating with each other when that happens. I want to have a conversation with you now to design how we are going to communicate and what signs we will use to deliver specific messages when we on different planes. Would you be open to doing that? I love you lots Laura and continue to pray for your fight, the one that keeps you gracing us with your life and love for longer and longer...Susan

Saturday, September 23, 2006 8:19:00 AM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

When my dad was dying, everything came quickly. He was sick---something was wrong---it was cancer---then surgery---and then death. One hard thing after another. But, we had him. There was talking and laughing and watching him sleep...and all of those things sustained us (my sibs and mom and his grandchildren). As long as we could know that he wasn't in pain, we could have gone on like that for a very long time...because we still HAD him. Even now, as I write this eleven years later, it is what I want most. To have him here as part of my life. Each year, more of my life has gone by without having him.

I'll come back to this later. I'm assisting Henry and Gwen today in San Rafael at a course called "Come Alive".
Interesting, huh?
Just wanted to reach out early this morning and touch you..

Saturday, September 23, 2006 8:25:00 AM

Anonymous Linda J. said...

Hi Laura

Such a blend of articulation, exploration of what is and then cutting to the chase to ask the questions. Do you realise what this does to a gal on a Sunday morning :-)

And I want to be here sharing concepts with you about death and dying, and I wonder what it is that makes it so easy to be here.

I think having been immersed in an extended close knit family has something to do with it. Growing up surrounded by so many people who love each other has been a joy, flip the coin and there has been huge sorrow in seeing so many of them die, including some very close to home.
I have become very familiar with what death and dying brings.

Flipping the coin back again I marvel knowing that when one person has died in our family another one has been born shortly after. Just this last 18 months my godfather and cousin died, and this year my brother and other cousin have new babies in their families.

I did it slightly different. On the day my third child was born, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. So I had this confusing experience of watching my mum disappear slowly,whilst my son grew bigger and stronger every day. It really brought me face to face with a life death life reality.

And it may of been this familiarity of life cycles that gave me the courage to give up a whole way of life that was no longer working for me a couple of years back. It really felt like a death at the time, because everything I previously knew disappeared, home, income, job,status,people. I shocked myself by the enorminty of it all. I can never know your journey, but this experience I believe helps me understand more easily the experience of life changing dramtically to accommodate a new way of being. I know you have noticed more the joy and appreciation of simples things in life, and this doesn't take away the fear and trauma of cancer - but it does make life more real (and less full of pretense and illusions).

I have one more concept to share that I came across when studying this year:

I have a body but I am not my body. My body may find itself in different conditions of health or sickness, it may be rested or tired, but that has nothing to do with my real self, my real 'I'. My body is my precious instrument of experience and of action in the outer world, but it is only an instrument. I seek to keep it in good health but it is not myself. I have a body but I am not my body.

(by Roberto Assagioloi - just an extract of a much longer perception.)

If we are looking to understand life, then death and dying are just the other side of the coin. Its no surprise then that it will have its say and time.

with love

Linda x

Sunday, September 24, 2006 4:38:00 AM

Anonymous Donna Krone said...

Wow Laura....your last post on the 22nd really called me out of hiding. I wrote to you the other day and then deleted it because it felt like I was writing to talk about death not to really benefit you in any way and it felt so out of sync with the other posts and maybe selfish. (that THING I can't be with) AND I wrote once before and it felt like a big TA DA! As though you read my mind I hear you giving permission today to have us just talk about death.

Anyway...for about three years I have felt a strong calling to do something to bring death "out of the closet" and am finally embracing that with a co-leader in my community project. GULP
We have lots of ideas as to where this could go but we are really wanting to stay open to where it leads us. This stage of the project is simply about bringing people's stories and experiences out into the light. You are showing me right here how important that is. When I wonder or am asked WHY I would want to concentrate on death I guess it is because it is the one truth that we all share and and it is the one thing we seem to know the least.

When I felt this pull three years ago it came in a powerful heart pounding way. I googled and purchased every book I could with death in the subject line. What I read brought more of a desire to move forward yet I sat with it for so long becasue it seemed so outrageous for me to to step into this arena...I didn't have a terminal illness, I was no guru, I didn't even have any real out of the ordinary experiences with death. What right did I have! ...funny how it feels so much like it is only for a few when it is really for all.

When I look back I realize I was looking at death from different perspectives at different times in my life. As a young teenager working in nursing homes and later in my short career as an RN, I saw death as a physical process. It was about caring for the body and helping the patient feel comfortable, not much more. Later I became a financial advisor and saw how people "prepared for death" with documents and insurance and organizing and trying to conserve assets...it was all about the "stuff" getting left behind. I noticed how people addressed it as though it wasn't really real it was all sort of a theoretical excercise..myself included. The part I didn't hear was what it meant to that person to think about their own death.

When I think about my own death the first thing I notice is that part about it not feeling quite real. What comes up the most as I try to get deeper in touch with it is a kind of seperation anxiety. Will I be abandoning my kids my family my friends? Will they know it is okay with me that I am dying and that they don't need to suffer over it. Will I have done enough, made enough of a difference, said what I wanted to say before I go. I was struck watching the movie flight 93 that when people called on thier cell phones the words were all the same...I LOVE YOU...I LOVE YOU..it seems there was not much more than that to say when it comes right down to it. And yet I felt the question inside...did that do it...did that get the job done? Did their families and friends really know they were loved? In order for me to feel "complete" that famous word we use at CTI, I know I would want the opportunity to say my piece to those I was leaving behind. Since I know that about myself and I don't have any control of when or how I go, I have written letters to my kids that my husband and friends know about. I also plan to write more to others and a general letter that could perhaps be read at my funeral. (making a commitment to do that right now) It may sound strange, and I know many feel it is a lot better to just say it all when you are alive and that also makes sense to me of course but it is just a piece of completeness for me to do it this way. It gives me peace and frees me up to know if I was about to die in a car crash that I had left some words behind.

I love how you described the different feelings that come over you when you think about dying at different times. It is ironic that I am drawn to this subject because I was the most fearful on the ropes course and have gone through life with enormous physical body fears. I can hear my mother scolding my siblings "leave her alone, she is just cautious!" I guess my body majorly fears death but my spirit has a different perspective.

When my Dad died it was an anguished death, he was fighting and clinging to life desperately, it was very hard to watch and when I tried to talk with him about it he denied that he was dying. The whole thing was so awkward and he was so medicated we didn't knwo what was him and what was the medication. I think that fuels some of my desre to do this work. AND at the very end when he surrendered to death I am told that the room was filled with amazing peace and love. Despite the fact that he had been unconscious for a couple of days he opened his eyes and mouthed "I Love You" right before he died. I will never know why I missed those last moments but perhaps the unfinished part of that death leads me to my current path. I feel him encouraging me.

When I did the relatiosnhip coaching course I proclaimed that I would work with people's relationship to death. When I think of death in the third entity excercise I imagine it saying..."I am not the bad guy you think I am...give me a break...I am so misunderstood!!"

You have deeply touched my soul Laura and have given me confidence to keep going with this. I have not had the pleasure of meeting you in person, I have only met you on my certification tapes, but can feel your prence so vividly through all your words. I send you love and peace and huge gratitude!

(I notice that I feel the urge to press delete once again...as though it is no use trying to put words to all this )

Donna Krone

Sunday, September 24, 2006 8:09:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

Your words of sharing are so appreciated. Did you feel like, WHAM...you hit the ice (being the topic of death) and it broke....allowing the flow (being conversation) to move?

You spoke of a friend in grief and what you said about allowing sufficient time, a year or more, is on the money, so to speak. Too often the tendancy is to cut the process off way too soon. Now about the asking WHY? I believe it is a vital part of the process...our mind and reasoning cannot immediately or even soon accept some realities like death, the death of a loved one, or illness, or divorce. I remember the first year of separation for my son and I from his father, that my son would ask the whys. It was agony for me because I had few answers, but I always treated his question as if it was the first time he had asked it. I never discouraged him from asking or tried to brush off the question. It was a process....he would ask....I would answer the same as always. It's like he had to hear it so many times before he could accept the reality and eventually the question came less and less frequently.

In a recent post someone made an analogy of death/dying to giving birth. I can relate to that analogy, although in a little different way, as I recall the striking realization of the power of the process of giving birth and that it was not me causing any part of it. As for dying, if it were in our power we never would, of course. That unknown that causes fear and trembling. My parents would speak of it as, "crossing over." I have seen them do exactly that and in a way that inspired me and gave me a deeper strength than I had known before.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sharing about the sunshine and music, and best of all, about living.

Arms around you for a hug.
Love, Emily

Monday, September 25, 2006 1:02:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Me again. We've been talking about the sense of the 'unknown' with regard to death and dying and I remembered something as told by my grandmother. She, as a teenager, was riding in a car with her mother when they were in a fatal accident. My grandmother had some sensations that she later vividly remembered. Although she was not aware of pain or the injuries she had suffered, what she did see was her mother moving upward toward a very bright light but she saw herself moving downward to a dark hole. My grandmother's life was saved, but what she had seen made a great impression on her. You may have heard other 'near death' stories, or from people that did actually die but were revived. Another person I know was taken to an emergency room with an acute heart problem and died several times but each time was revived by the medical team. He had no sensations or rememberance of what was happening to him. It is a mystery why one may experience something and another doesn't, but I do believe there is something beyond life as we know it. From what I have learned, there is considerable consistency in what different individuals have experienced, and the fact that they experienced something to me sheds some light on the 'unknown.' Just some food for thought.

Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 11:13:00 PM

Blogger Susan V. said...

Dearest Laura, your invitation is evoking stories and I would imagine as people are writing their stories some type of healing is taking place. It makes me wonder about the "formula" for healing and how God/Goddess/the Universe plans to provide healing to us when we ask for it. I am committed to trusting that there is an abundance of healing available to us all. The question I have is what is it to tap into that supply with grace and ease?

Blessings and healing to you as you sleep tonight and as you receive your treatments tomorrow. And a happy, happy birthday to Judy....Love, Susan

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 10:55:00 PM

Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura,

I'm back from the land of kim chi and cell phones - What an amazing journey I had! Thank you for helping to invent, channel, create, birth - whathaveyou - this work called co-active coaching into the world so that I might have such an experience. Life will never be quite the same!

I've been reading your postings and the responses with much interest since I returned. I'm finally recovered enough from jet lag that I can think somewhat clearly. When I read your latest posting about chemo, Judy's birthday, and that you haven't been thinking about death in the last 5 or more days... the first thing that popped into my head was your voice from my Process course 10 years ago saying - Be with what you fear and watch it disappear. I like the notion that as the topic of death gets some airtime and that we all get to let ourselves ponder it, write about it, talk about it etc, it loses its strength and can drift back into the ethers while the fight carries on.

I know you have R2 coming up soon with the Otters. I'm sending you loads of healing energy so you'll have the strength and stamina to lead that eager group. I know that leading will feed you like little else can. Take good care of you so you might play with your passion amongst the Otters again soon.

Thinking of you and pondering all you provoke.

Much love,


Thursday, September 28, 2006 5:22:00 AM

Anonymous Barbara Swanston said...

Hi Laura

I just got back from a few days north of San Francisco. It was my husband's 60th birthday last week and we have a friend, Diana, visiting from Ireland (Michael, my husband, is from Bangor N Ireland).

Diana and I went to California to visit a friend whom Diana had not seen since he moved to California in 1971. it was a sweet reunion. All the more so as he has AIDS. We talked a lot about life and about death. It was awkward and uncomfortable sometimes, and it was really intimate. I had just read your blog before I went and you were on my mind too. So I came to visit and I'm reaching out to touch you. And to wish Judy Happy Birthday. Take care, Laura. Love B:}

Thursday, September 28, 2006 10:23:00 PM

Blogger Leslie Eveland said...


Here's one of my favorite poems that has something to say about the topic of death.

Its Rilke's THE SWAN

This clumsy living that moves lumbering
as if in ropes through what is not done
reminds us of the awkward way the swan walks
and to die, and to die, which is the letting go
of the ground we stand on and cling to everyday
is like the swan when he nervously lets himself
down into the water which receives him gaily
and which flows under and after him wave after wave
while the swan, unmoving and marvelously calm,
is pleased to be carried, each moment,
more fully grown, more like a king, farther and farther on.

I think it is not only a poem about death but a poem about the flow we find when stop thinking we're our body, or some identity we have created and let our spirit guide us -- but mostly I just like the idea of gliding beautifully and effortlessly like a swan in its element.



Thursday, September 28, 2006 11:35:00 PM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi Laura,

It was wonderful to see you at Judy's Birthday Party. You really continue to look amazing, in fact you looked downright sexy on Tuesday night. I am so glad you took care of yourself and left the party early. We continued to party and dance and have fun. It was a great evening of food, companionship and celebration for a Wonderful Human Being, Judy Pike.

Today is Saturday and I am thinking of you as I sit looking out at this lovely day and wonder how your day is going, how the chemo has been this week and how your stomach is doing? You are on my mind and in my heart today, and I am sending my loving thoughts for your healing and continued strength as you fight the fight and keep your curiousity alive about living and dying and what it all means.

I will think of you next week as you enjoy the process of leading the Otters, as I know you are fed by the interaction of a lively group of people. Have fun and know that you will be thought of during the week.

Love and Joy,


Saturday, September 30, 2006 4:53:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Laura of the Dance!

I am writing to ask you something off topic. I make up it is off topic because it is about business yet I feel compelled to ask you because you have done this in your life. What criteria do you use for who you partner with in business and in life? I am making it up as I go along and would appreciate your insight. I believe you have allot to offer in this area. You are an amazing successful business woman in addition to your other successes.

180 degree turn.
On the topic of dying.
My insight around death is that some part of me dies every day the phrase " She who was is no more - she who IS is being born" is a mantra for me. I suffered from Lymes disease from 1988 - 1993 during that time I suffered many although not all of the challenges you are. I never thought life would expand again beyond the experience of pain and illness - it did and I wish for you the ability to look back years from now and know that it has become a part of your history not a primary part of your reality.

Love you - get the nutrients in - I know that nausea sucks AND get the good stuff in - however you need to!


Sunday, October 01, 2006 10:19:00 PM

Blogger Helen House said...

Hi Laura -

Just a quick 'Hello'!...

In Michigan's Upper Peninsula the fall colors are in their full glory right now. This is my favorite time of year here. Yesterday, I took my mother to the top of Mt. Marquette. It was one of those crisp clear autumn days with a bright blue cloudless sky. The view over Lake Superior, our beautiful harbour and town, and the incredibly painted landscape was breathtaking and breathgiving.

May autumn in your part of the world take your breath with its beauty and give you life with your savouring of it.

Love to you,


Monday, October 02, 2006 6:17:00 AM

Anonymous Hesteah said...


Wow. Death. How do I talk about it? My mother for six years fighting the recurrance of lymphoma. Each recurrance more invasive than the last, each chemo more agressive. The last chemo, this summer, just passed the experimental stage. Working? yes, the tumors have, once again, shrunk. Will they come back? Yes. When? Noone knows, noone is willing to ask let alone answer the question. And I want to know how much time do I have to see my mom, talk with her. Will this week's call be the last? Will my girls get to see grandma next summer? But death, death, is too intimate and too awkward to discuss. I am hesitant. I await her permission as it feels as though I'm denying her fight if I explore the topic of death. Wow. tender. heart ache.

Sending you gratitude for opening the topic. My heart is open and my mind is searching.

Love to you,


Monday, October 02, 2006 1:40:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darling Laura--I loved your description of the birthday road trip--there is so much freedom and adventure in it. As you know, Judy and I were born on practically the same DAY, so on my birthday this weekend in Minneapolis, I was thinking about Judy's birthday--and about yours dead ahead. My son took me to the theater Saturday night, then a friend had a party for my deareset women friends--many of whom I hadn't seen since leaving MN three years ago. And then I had a nice meeting with Pock the next morning. A poignant, rich, satisfying if somewhat bittersweet trip all in all--not even marred whena storm at O'Hare diverted us to Cedar Rapids Iowa for two whole days on the way home. I'm thinking about you this week at Leadership, doing the work you created and were born to do. And I'm sending love to your spirit and soul and to your precious body, too.

I'm off to Chicago again now. I'll be thinking of you--Caroline

Thursday, October 05, 2006 7:58:00 AM

Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi Laura,

Thinking of you much this week as you are leading the Otters in a week that will surely be blessed with much learning and edges. Have Fun ! ! !

Judy and I and Mary Brighid went on a wonderful hike up to Mt St Helena yesterday, it was a little drizzly and wet, but magical as the fog and the clouds came and went and every now and again, they showed us a hint of the beauty that was below. The beauty of the mountains and the vistas that are posible when you reach for the sky.

We thought of you many times as we were hiking up the moutain and were sending you lots of love and good vibrations .. Hope you had a great day with the Otters ... May the Rest of the week Unfold with Ease,

In Joy,


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