Welcome to Laura's Blog, facilitated by her friends and family. We invite you to continue to honor Laura's life and her impact on you by posting stories, memories and messages for Judy and our community. [Scroll down to the end for directions on posting messages]

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Personal Notes for Laura and Judy

Please use the space to share your thoughts, wishes, and reflections for Laura and Judy.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the email i just wrote to the Kokopellis...i thought i would share it.

As I sat down to do my taxes just now I decided to read Trudy's email first. That lead me to Laura's blog, which lead me into experiencing Laura's journey over the last few years. I was moved to NOT work on my taxes, but rather, to jump in and splash around in the brilliance, fierceness and HUGE dedication of Laura Whitworth. She was literally leading until the end.

At some point I needed some connection to Laura, so I called Trudy (who was resting in bed) who gave me some of that connection (thanks Trudy). The only reason I know Trudy and all of you, is because of Laura. Thanks Laura. Leadership is still one of the top 3 experiences of my life.

As I read her comments, all I can say is I was moved to think about my Stand (do I still really have one?) and what impact do I want to have in the world. Is helping lawyers be better business developers, with small amounts of personal growth thrown in (since we can't overtly say we want to help them have better lives) the impact I want to have? Not to minimize what I am doing, but I am here for a limited time. Is this how I want to spend myself?

It makes me want to ask - are you all having the impact you want to? What have you been putting off for someday? What needs tending to?

The good news is, the Kokopellis stand out as a group of people who are having a huge positive impact on the planet. And we all owe some of that impact to Laura and the Leadership course.

On another note...to tell on myself...In one of her posts she talked about "going away" and how it is hard to be with people who are in this situation. I am guilty of going away. She was my coach and my leader, and I never wrote, reached out or connected. I wanted to. I thought to. I planned to. But I never did. And this is not the first time in my life I have done this. I regularly THINK of doing some good deed or reaching out, but sometimes that is as far as it gets. I resolved to be better about that.

The other thing that strikes me as I am reading her words, is that she is still leading me. Leading me to think what my stand is, what impact I want to have, what will be different as a result of me living?

And right on the heels of that I remember the stand that I am - "Helping People Create the Life of Their Dreams." Not to Settle. To get into action and create what they want-now!". I then reflect on the impact that I have had on friends, clients and people in recovery. I have made a difference. And i am not done. In fact, i am gaining momentum.

I guess that's it. I love you all and am blessed to have met such a great group of people.


David (Heartman)

Thursday, March 01, 2007 6:22:00 PM

Anonymous Vikki G. Brock said...

My first direct experience of Laura was when she allowed me to interview her for my PhD dissertation on the evolution of coaching in early 2006. Being such a pioneer we ended up having two lengthy interviews about the early days. Laura was genuine, gracious, humble and very generous as I came to know during my interactions with her over the next year. I attended The Bigger Game workshop she co-led in mid-April 2006 and my admiration grew for her as a human being and true leader. When the cancer flared up again and Laura was not able to make the August 2006 Coaching Summit in Vancouver BC, she sent the following note to be shared:

"The profession of coaching came into existence to fill an unmet need. A hunger, a something, that was wanted and needed, yet not articulated, until it was. Over the last 18 years we have been in the beginning phases of meeting that hunger, that need. And we, as an industry, have done well. Don't you think so too? And for awhile now it has been past due for us to consciously evolve. Not to eliminate what has been created, because that need still exists in a large part of the population. But there is another need(s) that you have probably been articlating over the last couple of days, and I am probably restating it here again. An example of another need(s) is for a profession that loudly invites leadership in those who have been sitting on the sidelines, waiting to be invited. Another need is the creation of coaches that intentionally walk beside those who know they need to 'show up' in the world, to have a grounded and balanced voice, and to use it. The other need(s) is for a profession that takes a moral stand, to enable everyone to perceive their soul's desire to contribute to peace, safety, health and awareness. Another way of saying this is that coaching needs to take a stand, and to articulate particular types of coaching offerings. Not just for the client to see what else the client can do for self, but for the client to see how well fed they are when they contribute to the intentional evolution of the world around them. And how much better off the world is when they show up. So I share with you here a simple vision of what I see the need to be. If there is a chance that you all have not been looking far out into the future for this profession, well, actually for this planet, then I beg you to do that now. Because there are many answers to this question. What are your answers to the questions: What is the unmet need? I wish you great success and creation during this Summit. And I hope that as an organization, a gathering, that you have been able to walk the talk of what is needed in our world today. I wish I could have been there."

Laura and I kept in touch with our last exchange being an email from her on Valentine's Day, 2007.

"My thanks to you babe for keeping me in your thoughts. It touches me deeply and reminds me of the every and always Bigger Game Player that you are. I am in Mexico now doing my best to nourish my immune system and to just plain get better. Hoping to see you in Long Beach. No promises, as always. Love and hugs, Laura"

Laura will be with me and many others in spirit, not only in Long Beach at the ICF 2007 International Conference but every step of the Bigger Game we all play, thanks to her.

Laura, you will be missed - Vikki G. Brock

Thursday, March 01, 2007 6:38:00 PM

Anonymous David Balser said...

I hope that Laura can now look back on the last 59 years of her life very proudly, for she deserves the highest praise that one can give to a person whose life was incredibly meaningful and helpful. And that's because Laura was perhaps the most meaningful and helpful and remarkable person that I have ever met.

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:04:00 PM

Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Dearest Judy -
I am surrounded by the photos of you and Laura from your trips up here - your radiant smiles amongst the trees, the gardens and on the ferry - your laughter and excitement reverberating. These memories help to soothe my sadness for losing a friend who was such a part of David's and my life over these past 11 years. I will write to Laura in a while but know that she and you are being held closely in my heart.

Judy, your love and dedication to Laura these past years was a gift to us all - we were given more time with Laura and look how many people she has impacted - and around the world. Thank you dear Judy for being an amazing goddess of love.

And huge baskets of love and gratitude to the A team and Isha who have been there supporting both of you from the get-go. The incredible caring and community that arose to support you both is a testament to your hearts being "as wide as the world".

I'll close here Judy - I just want you to know that we are here for you and love you very much.

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:42:00 PM

Blogger J said...

Dear Laura and Judy,
I knew Laura only through recordings and The Great Book; no not that one, the great book entitled co-active coaching! Laura's empathy and connection on the recordings has had me in tears and right now, without knowing her personally, she has touched something deep within that I am trying to understand. All I know is that by the strength of my reaction to the passing of someone whom I didn't know that well she is trying to let me see something really big.
With compassion for all those close to her and admiration for a life lived 'on purpose'. Love Jamie Hill

Friday, March 02, 2007 3:47:00 AM

Blogger K'duite said...

Thank you all, Leslie, Judy, Isha, A Team, for posting the pictures and the sharing of the precious moments there with Laura. The saying good-byes, the image of serenity, peace.

I know the grips of sorrow that you now face, that many of your moments will not feel calm or serene except as your thoughts flee to memories that will chase the sadness, gifts Laura has left behind. I know how difficult it can be to deal with the details and tasks at hand, but you were all there for Laura and now you will be there for each other.

Blessing to you for this day.


Friday, March 02, 2007 7:29:00 AM

Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

I sit here in tears of sadness and joy - as I have so many times since hearing the news of Laura's passing on Wednesday. I was on my way out the door to an organic soup supper, where a local "bigger game" family would share their love and care for the earth, preventative care and homeopathic treatment of their dairy herd, how they make natural compost to cover their fields, and how their shepherding of their plot of land, including a swamp on their propery, has impacts downstream all the way to Chesapeake Bay. I knew Laura would have enjoyed such a talk, and I felt that this was a good way to honor her. Later on Wednesday evening, perhaps as many of you gathered around Laura, I shared phonecalls and sent e-mails to others in my IBM and Bigger Game communities that love Laura. Tears flowed on and off all evening.

As I started to receive return e-mails yesterday, and returned to the blog, I began to picture Laura returning home to loving kindred spirits, who were welcoming her with fireworks, kudos, and gratitude and praise for a job "well-done"! And all of us here carrying on - taking her work forward (and our work) and touching more people with co-active coaching, leadership and Bigger Game - paving a path of loving, joyful full engagement and connection with others, spirit, heaven and earth. I see a huge, knowing, peaceful, and still impish grin on Laura's face - moments of "aha", awe and an overwhelming sense of wellness. And gratitude for the journey, and the fellow travelers that we all are.

Love to you Laura, and peace.

Love to you Judy, Laura and Judy's family, the A-team, and peace. Well-done.


Friday, March 02, 2007 8:55:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


From the CTI Co-Active Coaching Network - as of March 2, 2007 at 1020 am

In Memorium.

We have lost a friend, a teacher, a visionary, a fighter for life, hers and ours.

After a long and dedicated battle with lung cancer, our beloved co-founder Laura Whitworth died today, February 28, 2007.

We grieve her passing at the same time we celebrate her extraordinary life. That, after all, was what Laura was all about: Life. Fully lived. She was fierce for that and unrelenting. And with that stake she changed the world, yours and mine. If you are reading this you are one of thousands around the world whose life is different because of her.

We will post more information about ways to honor Laura’s life as information is available. For now, please feel free to respond to Laura’s blog: http://laurawhitworth.blogspot.com

With deep sadness,

Karen and Henry Kimsey-House

Dear Fellow Coaches:

I write this email with a heart that is both heavy and full. As most of you know, our beloved co-founder Laura Whitworth has been battling advanced lung cancer. With astonishing courage and commitment, she has fought a good fight, calling us all forth to Fight for Life and to Live Strong.

Over the past few days, Laura’s condition has worsened and the doctors have said that she is in liver failure will be passing over in a matter of days.

Currently, Laura is in Mexico with her life partner Judy. They are working to get Laura transported via helicopter to San Diego and then on home to her Meadow House in Sebastopol.

Please join me in holding an intention of peace and ease for both Laura and Judy.

The family has requested that they not be contacted directly by phone or email at this time. Instead, I would invite you to visit Laura’s Blog http://laurawhitworth.blogspot.com for the latest information or to post messages of love and support.

With deep sadness and awe at the Great Hoop of Life,



Dear Laura,

We never met in person, but I feel as if I know you so well through my classes at CTI, through the Leadership Program as a Dragonfly, through both books on Co-Active Coaching, and through the leaders and teachers you taught who have taught me and changed my life.

Your love and your life continue through us - and I know we will meet again.

For those who you leave behind, especially your dearest friends and family, I offer this poem that has helped me so much when someone I love has passed on to their next adventure in Spirit.

My Mother gave this to me in the 70s and I read it at her funeral in 2002. The title is "Death is Nothing at All."

It gives my heart such peace, which is what I am sending to you.

With Love & Peace,


Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way that you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near…just round the corner.

And all is well.

Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral


While I did not know Laura, we have all been blessed by her choices, actions and insights. I will hold her, Judy and all her loved ones in my prayers, knowing that all is well, and that love knows no boundaries of space or time.

I tried attaching a beautiful song written by a local artist, Meg Rayne, called, "Only Love Is Real."
[It was too big for the website. If you email me directly, I will send it to you.]
Here are the lyrics.


Only love is real
after the illusion fades
Only love stands here
when the smoke is clear
and the world is blown away

Only love is real
not death not fear not hate
the only thing that's true
when everything is through
Love remains

Look into my eyes my love and remember
everything we knew from before the before
from now until the end is our time to surrender
and believe we can live like this once more

Finally when we ask our faith that lies in waiting
for the call that will open the way
from out beneath the ash, the phoenix comes rising
with the grace in the dawn of this new age

Only love is real
not death not fear not hate
the only thing that's true
the only thing that's true
when everything is through
Love remains

Only love is real
Only love is real
Only love is real
Only love is real
Only love, only love only love is real

Kat Jaibur
Coaching to help you get from where you are
to where you want to be...and have fun with it!


Dear CTI Community Members,
Laura's light lives on in us all. It's wonderful to share this connection with you, this thread of her creation of the CTI curriculum that runs through us all.

I miss Laura with intense depth. I feel inspired by her in a capacity that is beyond words. May we each rise to create the ripple of healing and insight that she did in her lifetime.

With gratitude for Laura's beauty, grace and courage,
Otter Tribe


Dear Karen,

I have been following the messages about the evolved male energy and I wanted to say what I was thinking. I couldn't quite put it together until you sent us the disheartening news about Laura. I wrote the following poem today as both a tribute to her, and a comment about my perspective of what is important to me regarding being a human being.


My Final Thoughts

If I have time to contemplate in my final few minutes of life,
I hope not to wonder if I could have done more or better
Or wonder if I could have been more
Of a man, son, husband, brother, or father
Of a leader, follower, teacher, student, or friend

I want to neither regret my failures
Nor take pride in my contributions or accomplishments
I hope not to wonder if I reached my greatest potential or
If I’ve lived my life fully, on purpose
Or with passion, grace, or happiness

I was what I was and I did what I did
That is all

I will ask myself just one question:
Did I remain appreciative?
Through the pains and losses
Through sickness and struggle, wars and injustices
Through growth and challenge
Through the suffering I caused and endured

When disappointment and anguish prevailed
When hope and promise were silent
When anger and sorrow billowed loudly
When righteousness and fairness were cowards

Did I remain appreciative?
For the light that enriched my eyes with shapes and colors
For the sounds that tickled my ears with music
For the tastes that drenched my mouth with sweetness
For the smells that filled my nostrils with aromas
For the touch that soothed my skin
For the breath that nourished my body

For the thoughts that sparked my imagination
For the emotions that lifted my heart with laughter or
Weighed it down with tears
For the ability to express myself
For the joyous beauty of nature
And all the loving connections

Oh, what a lovely world this is
That I love and shall miss too much
As eternity quickly and quietly again approaches
I will be comforted by this thought:
I am what I am and can let go knowing that


Dear Laura,

Thank you for all the love and commitment. I have meet you through the teachers you teached and through that I send my love. May the ripples you started expand for all the world to see and every soul to feel.

Friend in heart


Dear fellow CTI'ers:

Though I never met Laura in person, I feel like we all got to meet her heart and soul through being guided by her, Karen and Henry in our certification program. Every time I listened to her speaking on our CD's, I cried with joy out of what she showed us is possible from coaching, the impact we can have just by being brave, authentic and truly listening from the heart.

There is grief that we have lost an amazing leader, role model, human being, etc. and at the same time, relief that she is no longer suffering.

I was one of those crazy certification students who asked Laura to be a 15 minute practice client. Laura took the time and energy to email me back and said she was thankful for my email and my courage. Even though we didn't get to do the coaching session as her focus was on healing, her acknowledgment meant the world to me.

I am sorry never to have met her and yet I remain completely certain that she continues to share her light and wisdom with us.

My heart goes out to the entire CTI community and all her friends and family.

Love to all,

Annie Gelfand, MBA, RRPr, CPCC
Certified Professional Co-Active Coach
Executive/Personal Coaching, Healing & Wellness Services
Centre For Life Essentials
(705) 742-7475 or (416) 238-7213


Karen…Thank you so much for keeping us posted…it’s comforting to know what’s been going on, even if we don’t like what’s going on. In the short amount of time that I knew Laura, she made a tremendous difference in my life. All I could imagine is that there must be something big going on “up there” and they needed her. Warmly, Susan Samakow (Earthquake Tribe)

Susan Samakow, CPCC, PCC
Certified Business and Life Coach
Susan Samakow Coaching, LLC
301-706-7226/tel 703-472-7690/tel 301-365-0394-fax
"When you Change the way you look at things the things you look at Change."



Thank you for posting this message.

I have not met Laura, yet what she has co-created and been a leader in has had a huge impact on my life - specifically Coach training, the Leadership program and the Bigger Game.

Without any of these I would not be who I am today. In fact I can't really imagine how or who I would be. I'm not even sure I would be here now.

Then I look at the impact on other's around me - former clients, family, friends - it is huge.

So perhaps this discussion thread can also be a place for us to share the impact that Laura has had and is continuing to have in our lives - either directly or indirently?

A way to honor Laura's impact in the world, as well as posting messages of love and support for Laura on her blog.

With love,



Dear Laura, Judy, Karen, Family, Friends.... and .....

My prayers are with all of you. !!!

gr. Maggie


Laura...sincere, deep and heartfelt thanks for all you gave the world, and all you gave the world of coaching.

Everyone who has ever asked a client, "What do you really want?" owes you a debt of gratitude.

Your passion lives on in all of us.

We will continue the work you started.

But we miss you already.

With gratitude and towards a world of bigger games.



Friday, March 02, 2007 4:46:00 PM

Blogger caseyandjenn said...

thank you thank you thank you for posting about the ritual you all had wed night. it sounded beautiful and as i pictured all the flowers and candles, my sadness diminished just enough for a smile to appear, at the thought of such a loving ceremony, the circle of you all singing and being there with laura. i know she loved it and felt it as it carried her forward. thank you so much for sharing it with us.

judy, i am so, so sorry. my heart is with you. your love carried laura so, so far. i am so grateful that you both invited casey and i into your world, and for the time we got to witness “the laurla and judla show”. it was a time that marked a deep impression on us. you were and are family. i love you and if there is anything we can do...ever, you know case and i are always here for you.

laura, i love you and will do what part i can to honor your spirit and work to answer those hard questions (you know, the ones i love to avoid, but know i can never outrun). as countless others are saying, my life is richer for having known you. and now, while there are many wonderful meadow house memories, i have one more, the precious one of you dancing wildly at my wedding, tossing that cane aside, waving your arms in the air and shaking that booty. oh what a joy and gift that was to see!! thank you laura, for being you, and for being you fully. and for your goodness. and for your dedication to a world where we all live our most fulfilling life. i will miss you.

judy, isha and the a-team, i am inspired by your strength and support of laura through her illness and for celebrating her with laughter, tears, dancing, teddy bears, rose petals and the hundreds of unseen ways that took place during this journey. sending hugs by the millions, comfort and love during this sorrowful time.

Friday, March 02, 2007 5:19:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Jude,

It's hard to know what to say, but I know I want to say something to you, and to all who have stood by Laura during her amazing healing journey. I'm just really sad that it wasn't possible for her to stay in her body to complete it -- and she sure did try, harder than anyone could have. What amazing courage and strength the two of you have! And I have such gratitude for all that the "A" team have done to support you two - it is a great honor to know such giving and loving friends. Our world needs more like you all, for sure!

I am so deeply touched by Laura's powerful messages over these many months; many tears flow as I read them now, and look at the beautiful pics from the birthday party. So many learnings from such a wonderful and wise woman.

I can't imagine what might be going on for you now, and I reach out my arms to hold you, dear sister, as you process the changes. My prayers are soooo with you and your families. I'd love to come visit you if and when that fits, and also want to honor the request for no phone calls, etc. Please call on me if there is something I can do!

Finally, know that I love you very much, as I did Laura, and hope to see you very soon. I treasure my memories of times we have spent together over the years.

With big hugs, Joanie M.

Friday, March 02, 2007 5:34:00 PM

Anonymous Heather Diddel said...

Upstate New York
March 2, 2007

Dear Judy, A Team and Other Friends and Loving Ones - -

I am touched to the core. Weepy. Heart-warmed. Grateful. Sad. Awash in thoughts and countless Dreamtimes memories of Laura... Laura curling up kitten-like against Henry during a Dreamtimes retreat, batting her baby blues and purring… Laura scaring the bejeezus out of me my first few hours at retreat one, challenging me in no uncertain terms to get real, to throw off all my safety blankets of defenses and get emotionally intimate with a whole crew of new people, to awaken my wanter, to claim a stake and plant it boldly before me, to wake up and live!live! live! Laura’s proud declaration of how she tumbled into love with Judy, after years of being a “confirmed heterosexual”…Laura’s ability to see through me and, with a few words, to plant a seed that would shatter years of “safe” small living patterns…and on and on and on. Laura’s intolerance of bullshit. Her relentless search for the bigger game, for what’s next, for what’s needed now. And now. Her life-changing teachings of intimacy/ in-to-me-see with

I am one of countless people holding a Laura vigil, with candle and blog, tissue and a full heart. It will continue as I look for ways to continue carrying the torch she passed on to all of us.

Dear incredible A Team, Judy and other friends, I am grateful beyond words for the magnificent and heart-filled way you all held and said good bye to Laura this week. It took me several read-throughs of the note on the blog to fully understand how you had all gathered and celebrated and grieved and said good bye to Laura in the Meadow House. I am haunted by the tenderness, love and sweetness of your last few hours with Laura. What a remarkable group of loving people you all are. Your gentle and heart-felt love and good bye to Laura have fed my heart and soul, even as I weep.

I awoke this morning with Laura on my mind and in my heart. I was filled with a poignant sense of Laura’s sweetness and the sweetness of her release from the final stages of her battle with cancer…I miss her already. I miss her from-the-heart truth-telling on the blog. I miss her bold living and her candid sharing. I don’t quite understand how the world will keep spinning on ikts axis, at its regular pace, without Laura in human form doing her bit to co-create a remarkable world….

Heart-felt thanks and tender kisses - -


Friday, March 02, 2007 8:38:00 PM

Blogger Rick Tamlyn said...

Dear Judy, A-Team and
Dear All Team Members of Beautiful Laura's Life-

Many many tears are falling around the globe this week--- tears of deep sadness and tears of amazing celebration---as we all personally and collectively process the loss of dear Laura. I have just arrived home from Madrid where yet another group was touched and woken up by the magic of the amazing insights of Laura Whitworth and her passion. There are literally hundreds of thousands of examples these days that we all could share--- and I know we WILL share them with each other in this community for many many years to come.

And an insight that hangs with me today and currently is my most favorite Laura-ism is this--how many times would Laura say to me in a challenging moment of a workshop-- "Remember Rick, they just don't know 'how,' and we, as leaders, can do something about that."

This week I lost a dear dear friend--
-a dear colleague
-my most favorite "waker upper"
-my business partner with The Bigger Game work
-someone I LOVE DEEPLY!

I woke up today with a hole in my heart wondering how will I ever learn some new deep insight into what it means to be human-- and then I heard Laura's voice in my head and heart say, "Look right there--and truly be at full permission with all that you feel-- this is where you will find the learning."
Oh, how I will miss that voice for real on this earth plane--- and the good news is that Laura's voice is deeply embedded for so many of us and we can remind each other along the way. Laura would like that-- to have us remind each other along the way.

Judy, my friend-- You are a Goddess of Love-- Laura knows this--- we know this!
My heart is so with you---there are no words to express my true feelings for you--other then THANK YOU for deeply loving Laura as you do! You are held right now by literally thousands of hearts from around the globe--

Dear A-Team--Talk about co-players-- please know you are so so appreciated and loved--- as Laura talked about on her blog -- you all are what it truly means to "show up and stay." Deep gratitude. Again, words do not get at the deep felt feelings of gratitude and love!

I have many many sobbing type tears right now as I post this to the blog--and I just read again the name of this blog-- "Laura Whitworth is Living Well"-- This is absolutely still true-- in our hearts and souls!

Deep deep deep deep gratitude to you dear dear Laura! Know that the torch is now held. The Bigger Game you played here is sustainable-- truly sustainable--and is going on and thriving!
I miss you wildly!

Your 100% co-player--and with so much love-
Rick Tamlyn

Saturday, March 03, 2007 9:30:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

FROM CTI Community Website:

I just caught this thread today and I find myself with tears streaming down my face. I have just experienced the tip of what Laura brought into this world and the impact is tremendous. I'm inspired by her passion and zest for life as I continue on my Coaching journey. I take solice in knowing that Laura's legacy lives on in everyone here. We will all share what we have learned and continue to change the world, because of Laura's contribution to our lives.

Laura, I never met you, but you are an inspiration to me!

Much love to you, Judy.

Take Care,

Saturday, March 03, 2007 10:07:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart has been tender since hearing the news of Laura's death. I am in awe of who she was - who she became through bringing her life's work into the world. Meeting her briefly in December I was inspired by everything she said (particularly that she didnt start this work until her forties!) but mostly by who she was.
I can only imagine the grief of those she had shared her life with - the family, friends, colleagues and students - I send my love to you all, known and unknown. Judy - I salute you, and the journey that you took with Laura - may you find deep rest now.

I awoke the morning after the news, with a snippet of a Mary Oliver poem running through my head. It occurred to me that it was good counsel, and also an accurate description of how Laura had lived her dying.

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

in deep sympathy

PS to find the whole Mary Oliver poem - In Blackwater Woods, go to http://www.panhala.net/Archive/In_Blackwater_Woods.html

Saturday, March 03, 2007 10:09:00 AM

Anonymous Linda J.T said...

I woke early this morning with Laura tugging at my sleeve, well so I imagined, encouraging me to blog. It’s a conversation we sometimes had, “it’s such a public thing to do” I would say, and occasionally I got persuaded. Tug no more Laura I can do this last blog through the eyes of a fellow traveller who valued deeply our friendship.

I know when Laura was diagnosed with cancer it coincided with a time where she said she had lost much of the passion and fire in her heart and some of her voice.

In its strange way the cancer and the blog gave back to Laura the fire and passion for life that she loved. The cancer may have ravaged her body but it did not ravage her soul, the circumstances made it shine ever bright. She talked about fighting the fight so she could have her life back and do the work that she loved to do. I saw her doing the work that she loved to do every day of that fight with the freedom and creativity that she had found by being truly herself. It also heightened her love of all that was precious, Judy, her home, her family and friends, her A Team, her health, her life, her care of humanity and her love of simple pleasures.

When I didn’t have the words to say, I would sometimes make up silly ditties to make her smile. The one below came after a serious ‘shake and bake’ incident, where she thought she had seen a small gap into another life. In a bid to see you smile again:

Whilst you were there you peaked through the crack; yep, it was an interesting place but you had to get back.

You knew it was good to see how the other half live, but you know what you want and who to be with.

With the sun on your face and your feet on the ground, you’ve reclaimed the place where you want to be found.

So I see every day how you dance and stay with it, and I celebrate the strength of your full human spirit.

Laura maybe it wasn’t just any old gap, but the door home. Thank you for loving us and loving the world enough to stay as long as you could.

Linda x

Saturday, March 03, 2007 11:07:00 PM

Anonymous Mary Butler said...

Dear Judy,

I sit with a heavy heart of grief for the loss of a woman so vital to the world. Laura touched my life in many ways, some obvious and others not so. She was a force to be reckoned with, someone driven to challenge the status quo with a commitment to moving life from an ordinary experience to an extraordinary one. She leaves this world a better place through her vision and commitment to making a difference. Her legacy ripples around the world and will for years to come. I am grateful to have worked, played, and learned from such a strong, powerful woman - a firecracker who sparked personal choices in me that changed my life.

Judy, you are one of the most loving, compassionate, generous human beings on this planet. Your gift of patience, love and support gave Laura sustainability for as long as her soul needed to stay in physical form. AND, although she is flying freely in a new realm, her spirit and the memories you created together will live forever in the heart.

Love and blessings,
Mary Butler

Sunday, March 04, 2007 1:00:00 PM

Anonymous Sally Jo said...

The woodstove flames warmly, Amanda kitty curled beside it, toasting her backside. Grandmother clock tick-tocks a steady pace, and December's scarlet poinsetta still leans towards the window sunshine. Yet my heart hesitates, not sure how to match the gentle stability around me. Laura is gone.

I'd not met Laura. For that matter I hadn't met Gandhi, or Jesus. Yet her impact touches all I am, all I do. Since Laura, there is more of me to share with the world, and since Laura I hear more of what the world shares with me.

I understand that pendulum clocks placed in the same room tick in harmony, each one enhancing the beat of the others. When a clocksmith has a clock struggling to stablize in time, it serves to place it in a room full of clocks.

Today I join voices with others in honoring and grieving our beloved Laura. It's a selfish act, designed to synchronize my ticker with other loving souls, to steady my heartbeat so I can more clearly hear what the space is calling for. She leaves a big gap. I'm curious what we will choose to fill it with.

Sunday, March 04, 2007 2:49:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura
What I see is there is something beyond space and particles ...an energy field created by a unique alignment of an individual with their purpose. Laura you are that rarest of rare thing - a master teacher... More powerful than any thing you could tell us you give us the gift of living, breathing and focusing your energy on being what you know to be true and so making it possible and available for everyone one of us. I know this is true in life and in the act of dying and I have faith it is so in beyond ... Thank you, bless you, love you
Jeanne b

Sunday, March 04, 2007 3:35:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Poem by Mary Oliver

Monday, March 05, 2007 9:40:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura and her beloved Judy,
I heard the news just as I was leaving to go out of town last week and have been trying hard to process the news ever since. I still remember Laura leading our first IBM Process Workshop and taking one of our IBMers down the tube and the other 29 of us in the room simply being in awe of Laura and how she so connected and was able to not only demonstrate process coaching, but was able to be 100% fully present as a coach to her client even though 60 eyes were staring at her. So, to you Larua who opened up new learning, new growth and endless possibilities in my life and to you Judy, I share with you a simple poem that I heard over 35 years ago as a young child who lost someone very dear,
"To meet, to know, to love and then to part is the sad tale of many a human heart."
While you are not physically still with us, you will forever be in my heart. Take care, dear Laura!

With Love,
Stacy Gorin

Monday, March 05, 2007 2:36:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must say that I've never met Laura, or even heard her voice, but I know of her impact on the world by the people that she inspired...and that they inspired me.

As our hearts are broken, may they be broken open.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 8:01:00 AM

Blogger Vickie Harley said...

Wow! What a women.

Just imagine this world if we each accomplished only half of what Laura created in this world.

I'll miss you. Your light shines on.

Vickie Harley

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 11:53:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Judy,
May grace continue to guide you and all of us still on this plane of existence as we continue on with the everydays we are given until our moving on. It has been such an inspiration to see the journey you both carved out in this world, and the legacy that lives on when anyone speaks or remembers your names.
Judy, the bond you both have ongoing is a testimonial to the people you lived as, and continue to be. Seeing the joy and intensity in your shine, your smiles, and more than a few good jokes, keeps this world spinning with a nicer hum than it would alone. Seeing your relationship chart its course and the chances I had to celebrate a few of the high times, I am thankful for. Blessings to you.

Bill B.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 4:56:00 PM

Anonymous Breeze Carlile said...

I wrote the letter below to my family and friends and then realized there was much here I wanted to share with everyone, so I am posting it here.

A big transition has entered my life. I wanted to let you know that my dear friend/sister/mentor, Laura Whitworth, died this past Wednesday on February 28 after a brilliant 2 year fight against lung cancer. Many of you have offered your support and love and listening to me as I traveled through this fight with her and her community. And I felt you would want to know what is happening with me.

In 1991 I was sitting in the first class ever led by Laura and Henry that brought coaching into my life, I was one of the first four certified coaches that Laura and Henry trained, I was the first employee of the Coaches Training Institute, with Laura I helped build the international coaching community begininning by forming the first professional association of coaches. Laura went on to become one of the most famous coaches in the world, her book on coaching is a bestseller and translated into some 6 languages, I believe that CTI now trains coaches in 18 countries. If you google her thousands of entries come up. She also built The Bigger Game company, "the size and quality of the Game you play, designs who you are becoming". This was good work and I am proud of my place in it.

I was her ally, her foil, her sounding board, her cheerleader, her friend, her sister, the person of equal strength she could spar with. We fought, and laughed. Divorced and came back. Our commitment was a friendship that could not be left for any petty reason, but had to be re-examined and designed and then we had to fall in love again. Laura was not a woman to be taken lightly. For those of you who remember the old Disneyland, Laura was an "E" ticket ride.

We were "Mermaids" together. We numbered four Bev, Judy, Laura and me, and recently Lisa. Looking for where we fit into the world, where we could have impact, who we had to be to make good things happen. Based on Robert Fulgham's "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" a Mermaid was a metaphor for "...She intended to participate, wherever Mermaids fit into the scheme of things. Without giving up dignity or identity. She took it for granted that there was a place for Mermaids and that I would know just where. Well, where do the Mermaids stand? All the Mermaids, all those who are different, who do not fit the norm and who do not accept the available boxes and pigeonholes? Answer that question and you can build a school, a nation or a world on it..."

The Merms were my birthday celebrations, Christmas and New Year's. A gazillion fun weekends at their Meadow House in Sonoma County. My sisters on our journeys. This was a "until death do us part", pinkie swear oath, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.

Laura was flying home via medivac from a clinic in Mexico and died at 39,000 feet high just minutes from our airport. Judy, her partner was with her. And we got to bring her home that night. I helped the coroner carry her inside to her bedroom, both my gift and scary at the same time. There are a lot of beautiful tributes and pictures on her blog at www.LauraWhitworth.blogspot.com

I am tired. I guess I didn't know just how much energy I had wrapped up in us. We will celebrate Laura's life on April 7, and continue to read the blogs and tributes posted from around the world that help us to remember that we were always sharing her anyway. I keep hearing stories of how you could be so mad at her as she pushed you to examine your life and work, and just at your breaking point, she would ask the most important question, the inquiry that changed your life forever.


Breeze Carlile, CPCC
A Team and Mermaid

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 11:39:00 AM

Blogger C.J. Hayden said...

In the week since Laura left us, I've been steeped in memories of her. Yesterday, helping David Matthew Prior and Breeze Carlile draft an announcement for ICF to send out that would acknowledge Laura's contribution to the profession, I pulled the file out of my cabinet labeled "Laura Whitworth." I was amazed by the memories I found there.

On Aug 31, 1993, my Laura file begins when I invited her to be a speaker for the Entrepreneurial Development program I was chairing for San Francisco Business and Professional Women. Little did I know that this was probably the last time I would get to ask Laura to do anything. From then on, it was Laura who asked me to do things. And for some reason, I kept saying yes.

In my file, I found reminders of the many things that Laura asked me to do over the last 14 years, things that would never have happened without Laura's request. She asked me to come to the first meeting of a group of coaches to talk about having a professional association (in 1993!) and then to serve on its steering committee. She asked me to help organize the first international caucus of coaches, and coaching's first conference to include multiple schools and disciplines. She asked me to attend one of the first sessions of the coach training workshop that would become CTI, then to enroll in CTI's new certification program, and then to become one of CTI's first two certification supervisors. She asked me to serve on more committees and task forces than I could possibly recall. She asked me to edit papers and workbooks she wrote about coaching, to serve as a peer editor for the Co-Active Coaching book, to co-author articles with her, and even to write a book together (sadly, never completed).

This list only scratches the surface. A complete history of everything Laura ever asked of me that I said yes to would BE a book. I can't recall ever leaving a bridge call with Laura -- for CTI, CAS, ICF, PPCA, IAPPC, SFBPW, WEN, NCHRC, or any other bit of the alphabet soup that made up our lives together -- without her saying, "C.J., would you take that on?"

In return for all of this asking which consumed many, many hours, days, and weeks of my life, Laura gave me some incredible gifts. It was Laura who gave me the idea that led to my designing the Get Clients Now! program, which led to a book, which led to a business that now equals a substantial portion of my income. When I got into a financial pickle in the early years of my practice, Laura not only loaned me money, she asked other people to loan me money, and they did. She taught me a huge part of everything I know about how to be a coach. She invited me in to a community of smart, loving, powerful people that has sustained me for many years. And all of her poking and prodding and insistent asking of me to do the next right thing taught me how to be a leader in my profession.

Now... imagine for a moment what this means for the enormity of Laura's impact on the world. I am only one person. Laura made requests like these of everyone she touched. And because it was Laura who asked, we said yes, over and over again. Multiply the things I have done -- because Laura asked me to do them -- by the thousands of people that Laura made powerful requests of in her lifetime.

The thing that drove us crazy about Laura was also what we loved her for -- it was those damned QUESTIONS! To me, this is Laura's biggest legacy. Yes, she did a lot in her lifetime. But what she did herself is a drop in the ocean to what she asked other people to do. And because it was Laura asking, we did it.

C.J. Hayden, CPCC, MCC
San Francisco, CA

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 5:19:00 PM

Anonymous Caroline Otis said...

Dearest judy and Laura, who just doesn't seem that far away--

I was with you last wednesday--physically. hugging you, Jude-o-la. Kissing laura's cheek and marveling at the peace in her face. I am sitting outside the meadow house now, waiting for you to come home for some hugs. I have dropped in at this sweet place so many times over the past seven years, and my favorite part has always been out on the deck, with Laura being fierce about something or other she's passionately committed to while watching myriad hummingbirds skid to a dead stop in the feeder--what do you put in there, anyway? And jude's smile, as if she was born just yesterday and nothing has gone wrong with the world yet. And your tender, delightful care for your girl and for all of us who call you friend. I admire and love you both, so much. I am glad Laura's pain and Judy's vigil are over. And sitting in the car outside the meadow house right now, it just doesn't feel like Laura has gone very far, not far at all. I can feel her impact everywhere, her commitment to her compelling purpose, her friendship, her love of Christmas and increasingly weird hats. Her voice is still on the v-mail, the sexy throatiness of it bringing a catch to my heart. At the mother tree last week, it felt like Laura was in the trees and the sky and the face of the full moon--Laura was everywhere. But of course, Laura IS everywhere now. God help any lazy angels; Laura whitworth has arrived to shake things up.

I love you both. And I hope the headlights pulling up behind me are yours, Judy.


Thursday, March 08, 2007 6:37:00 PM

Anonymous WhiteEagle said...

Dearest Judy,

As your beloved wings her way to the next Great Round my thoughts and my prayers are for you. I see your beauty and your sweet Earth powers and how you have used them selflessly for beautiful Laura’s journey to her 'home'. It is always those who are left behind that my thoughts go first, as we must live with the missing of the physical aspects of our loved ones. My prayer for you is that the strength you have gifted also returns to you ten fold. My prayer is that you will be held softly in the arms of your true mother and that she will gift you with the riches that life can offer in love and joy. If anyone I know has earned it, you have. I send you my love and deep respect during this time.

And Dearest Laura ... such a big life well lived. You truly walked with your essence before you, out loud and in beauty. I see your wings unfurling, and your hawk eyes seeing the new realm that is your true home ... I will miss you in this round and I know that from where you are now you will keep walking for your People. I feel deep respect for all that you have been and done, and awe at the healing you left behind you, again, for your People. Good journey my friend...

To the People of Laura Whitworth: You have honored this woman beautifully. I feel you can tell a lot about a People by how they work with their beloveds leaving. I see the sense of sadness, and I see the celebration as well. Both are true in any one moment of life for we humans. You are part of the 'new people' or the future ancestors as my dream teacher tells me. It is clear to me as I watch you and hear your words. May you each dance in the love that Laura left behind her here and in the new kind of love she will pour out from her new home. May you each dance in strength and beauty and use this precious life as a pallet for that love ...

In honor and deep respect ...
and LOVE,

Friday, March 09, 2007 8:24:00 AM

Anonymous Andres Perini said...

Aunque sin conocerla personalmente toda la energia que se genera en esta comunidad nos conecta de manera profunda y la perdida de una de sus grandes miembros son grandes perdidas pero tambien grandes desafios en este gran enlace para apoyar al mundo a lograr cosas extraordinarias. Gracias por ser parte de este aprendizaje

Andres Perini

Friday, March 09, 2007 8:27:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Words from our Japanese Course Leaders:

-----Original Message-----
From: Chika Hasegawa [mailto:6k9mt@suite.plala.or.jp]
Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 4:38 AM
To: Karen Kimsey-House
Cc: All Faculty; International Partners; CTIStaff
Subject: Re: Laura

I would like to post some messages from Leaders in Japan to Laura.
Her sprit is strongly with us on a different land of this planet.

"I would like to say here that ‘I am committed to receive and pass
the legacy with gratitude from bottom of my heart.’ from Eisaku"

"Coincidentally, I watched a video that we used for the 5th
anniversary of CTI Japan. Laura’s message was ‘Yeah!! Co-Active
Coaches! The world is changing!!’ I would like to be with her message
and to be with her sprit. from Satomi with gratitude to Laura"

"I felt it is so Laura that she chose up in the sky on the airplane
to leave this life, the physical world. Laura is such an amazing
woman!! I looked up the beautiful and big sky and prayed for her.
While I was praying, many airplane were flying. Her message of ‘Go
and Change the world!!’ at Misogi’s 4th retreat party is still in my
heart. I have not really got what it really means but it is my big
inquiry, big gift from Laura.
In the higher world, hope you will have a good and peaceful rest.
from Yuri with gratitude"

"When I heard of Laura’s passing, I looked up to see the sky outside.
Mt. Fuji set ablaze by the evening sun. The message I received from
Laura at the Mothertree is in my heart over and over again.
I would like to thank her from bottom of my heart. And I pray for her
soul. from Hiroshi"

"I heard of Laura’s passing while I was leading course at IBM. I
looked up the sky at top of the building to be close to her. I prayed
for her with my gratitude. I always had image of her as worrior,
continue to fight for the world and her life. I am still shock to
hear her passing, and feeling that she was called by God. Hope she
will rest with peace. I pray for her soul. from Ryoko"

"I always think of her as a most powerful angel on this planet. Her
smile shines with glory. Her eyes show me how big I am playing game
to change the world. Yes, sometimes it was painful to see and most of
the time I felt bit acknowledgement of who I am! I just loved to be
with her soul and energy where I always felt everything is possible.
Thank you Laura. Your sprit is and always going to be with me.
Fly! Fly! Fly! I know you are up to something so big that I would
never imagine of!!
from Chika with love"

Friday, March 09, 2007 8:58:00 AM

Anonymous Deborah B. Metroka, MA, LCPC, Certified Life Coach said...

Hello Judy, and other ICF members: I am an ICF member and Certified Life Coach. I did not have the pleasure and privilege of knowing Laura, but wanted to express my heart-felt condolences to those of you who knew her so well. As I read the summary of the kinds of contributions to the Coaching profession that she made over the years, I am so grateful for who she was and what she gave to others through her valuable accomplishments. A BIG thank you to her! I highly respect those who pioneer the way for the rest of us. Thanks Laura!

Friday, March 09, 2007 10:51:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Judy and the A Team,

I had this waking dream about Laura. She appeared in the form of a bird of prey (I think she was an American eagle). I watched this magnificent bird sitting on a branch high up in a tree in complete stillness. Only its head moved--calm and clear, surveying the field below. It was patient, but I could feel the urgency just beneath its very calm exterior.

Then, before I could blink, it shot into the air and swooped down with remarkable force on a large rabbit that was desperately trying to escape this sudden onslaught from above. Needless to say, it was over before you could say "Jack Rabbit" for the poor furry animal.
The eagle grabbed it up in its powerful talons, killing it instantly and flying high up to its nest, where hungry mouths were impatiently waiting for home delivery.

At the top of the tree stood this massive nest. The eagle patiently and lovingly doled out portions to its hungry little minions, always keeping an attentive eye out to make sure that the little ones were safe and nourished.

Then, the scene changes and the eaglets are a little older. I could see them stretching their wings only to then cower in a tight bunch for warmth and protection.

Soon, this same mother eagle that had hunted with focus and power and then lovingly nurtured these little birds to grow strong and secure, was seen aggressively yet dispassionately pushing these little nestlings to the edge of the nest. Appearing somewhat cold and heartless after the months of hunting and nurturing, the mother eagle pushed them, one at a time, to 'get the hell out', because there's much growing to do and change to make happen. And one at a time, they spread their wings and hopped off the nest in search of their own food, their own mates, their own territories, as the mother eagle looked on with clear, strong unaverted eyes.

This is my Laura. This is who she has been to me and to so many. Much more interested in growing us so we can do what we need to do for the world and not very interested in our smallness.

I am forever greatful to you, Judy and to the members of the A team for your support of this magnificent mother eagle. The nest is now a bit more empty, but I can feel this grand eagle's spirit everywhere I turn.

Much love,

Sam House

Sunday, March 11, 2007 2:20:00 PM

Anonymous Monica Ross and John Reid said...

It is with the greatest regret and a deep sense of loss that we learned of Laura Whitworth's passing.
Her contribution to the global development of coaching will be long remembered.
The book Coactive Coaching which she co-authored continues to serve as the corner stone text of coach training in Ireland.
On behalf of all of the members of ICF Ireland Chapter we wish to extend our deepest sympathy to Judy and Laura's family and friends.

John Reid and Monica Ross
Co-PRESIDENTS,ICF Ireland Chapter

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 7:32:00 AM

Blogger Mike Robbins said...

I never had the honor of meeting Laura personally, but I did my coaching training at CTI in 2001. It deeply impacted my life and empowered me to do the work I have been doing for the past 6 years - speaking, coaching, and writing. I filled with both sadness and gratitude as I read this blog, learn about Laura's life and death, and feel the love and commitment of her community. Clearly, the world has lost a great person and leader...and, her soul and spirit live on and will forever.


Mike Robbins

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 9:48:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Sorry if this seems long but I want to share a few things with all of you who mostly know Laura through her teaching/coaching.

Laura and I first met when we were 20 and 21, just young things thinking we had the world by the tail. We were roommates for the next year and some months as volunteers in Peace Corps Nepal. We were fortunate to be able to room together: when one was sick the other would nurse them back to health or get them to a doctor, occasions that happened all too frequently. Living in another culture, what experiences we shared.

I have heard Laura more than once mention how difficult she could be to live with, but I honestly do not remember ever having conflicts or cross words between us. My memories are all worth recalling over and over. Laura was strong, very strong, and persuasive yet things were never just all Laura's way, there was give and take all the way.

This is one example of how Laura was strong back then: There was a contingent of Marines stationed at the American Embassy in Kathmandu and every Saturday morning there was a volleyball game between them and their friends. Next thing I know, Laura invites the two of us to join in their volleyball game. Marines, no less! I had only played a little of the game in high school PE class and that was it for my experience, and the Marines knew it. They were always leaping in front of me to make the returns. Laura, on the other hand, held her own pretty good. Pity any Marine that tried to cover Laura's position! It was great fun and Laura just loved competition of any kind.

Being reacquainted with Laura after an interim of 30 years has been a trip extraordinaire, to see how she has used her gifts of strength, persuasion, vision, drive, intellect, etc. to make success available for any who are serious about what it is that they care most for. It became ever so clear to me what Laura cared most for, REALLY cared for: people. She wasn't interested in peripheral stuff, just the heart of whatever the focus was.

Laura seemed to have a sense of life somehow being too short and no wonder, considering the health challenges she met. We all start out in life with an hourglass filled with grains of time and Laura shook hers to make sure no grains were left or wasted.

As I listened to Laura over this year, sometimes I would catch a certain word, tone or phrase that would instantly transport me back to those early days and I would smile and say, "Yep, that's Laura!" For me, it has been a stunning but too-short trip, and I loved seeing that light in Laura's eyes. I always will. I miss her deeply and appreciate all you have written here on the blog.

With my love,
Emily Blakely ecblakely@cmspan.net

Thursday, March 15, 2007 10:26:00 AM

Anonymous Hesteah said...


Lovely, lively, laughing, big heart...these are the memories I have of you and Laura. Sunny days at the Meadow house...intimate, intense conversations. Know that I think of you especially now with kindness for the emptiness and the sorrow as it washes upon you and recedes. May you be comforted by the knowledge of the great love and appreciation we all have for you. Laura was just simply, and always, to the very last breath, Laura - and what an incredible presence she was. I am honored to have known her and witnessed her strength and fierceness. May she rest in peace. May we remember her always in our hearts and may that remembering help to heal the loss.

Love to you,


Monday, March 19, 2007 8:56:00 PM

Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Dear Judy,

This is a poem that I have had posted in my cubicle at work for the last couple of months. It became my prayer for Laura each day as I read it.

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

----Dawna Markova---

The fruit of Laura's life is evident. And, Judy, the fruit of your love for each other endures. I'm glad that I was able to spend time with both of you in January when Laura and Rick did their mini-Bigger Game at the Mother Tree. It was a special time.


Tuesday, March 20, 2007 5:03:00 PM

Anonymous Kayoko Kimura said...

I would like to post some messages from a Japanese Co-Active Coach to Laura.

Thank you for all the love and commitment. I have met you through the co-founder of CTI, Karen and Henry in Tokyo, during the CTI Training in 2000. Karen and Henry brought me about your heart and spirit with them.

Therefore, it was inspirable experience. Laura's sprit and vision are strongly with me on the same planet and awakes me as a native coach.

Be the Universe! We are together eternally.


Kayoko Kimura
Coaching+net Co., Ltd.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 11:07:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ICF President's Message
(from March 2007 Newsletter)

I didn't know Laura Whitworth well, but I sure do feel the hole that was left in our coaching community when she passed away on February 28.
Laura had many, many professional achievements that have been listed over the last few weeks. She was clearly a leader and guide as the coaching profession was just getting underway. What I'm most interested in remembering today, however, is her personal contribution.

I'm sure Laura was proud of her professional achievements, but I bet she was "blown away" by the impact she had on lives. Laura passed away at the age of 59 after a valiant battle with lung cancer. From the stories I hear from close friends and colleagues, she packed more living and giving into those short years than some of us do with many more.

What can we learn from Laura's amazing life? Let's pour ourselves into the lives of others. Many of us were drawn to coaching because we care, really care, about the lives around us. Let's use Laura's life as a reminder of what we want to do… change lives. Laura Whitworth touched so many. May the world be able to say the same about us.

Laura, we'll miss you … but what a life you led. May it continue to inspire us all.

Kay Cannon, MCC
2007 ICF President

A memorial service is being planned for Laura Whitworth on Saturday, April 7, in Northern California, USA. Memories of Laura and condolences to her family and friends may be posted on Laura's blog. Additional details about the memorial service will be noted on the blog, as well. Personal correspondence should be directed to the attention of Laura's life partner, Judy Pike, at judykpike@gmail.com.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 7:51:00 AM

Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Judy,

Dear. Judy.

Tomorrow you will be surrounded by countless people who love you and Laura. I won't be with you in body, but please know I'm there in spirit. I've asked many people to carry hugs to you from me. Whether you receive them or not, know that they're there.

Last week I was in CA with my CTI community. I was so grateful to have a chance to grieve our loss and celebrate Laura's life with them. Gushing tears and belly laughs. Inspiration - through and through. I'm so sad I'll miss whatever tomorrow brings.

We're having a wild blizzard here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula now. We've had about 2 feet of snow in the last 3 days... with another foot expected. There will be much more snow for Easter than there was for Christmas! The world seems a bit turned on its head since Laura left. I hope it stays a little cock-eyed for some time to come. Seems fitting.

If you ever care to slip away from your lovely meadow for a spell- we're ready for you here in Michigan! Come walk the shores of deep blue Lake Superior. There's much healing to be had here. Nature is wild and close.

Lovin' you...


Friday, April 06, 2007 9:20:00 PM

Blogger Heidi said...

Judy: I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I was to miss Laura's service. I have been suffering from sciatica for the last three months and would have just been miserable in that long of a car ride. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and always.

Much love,


Wednesday, April 11, 2007 2:15:00 PM

Blogger C.J. Hayden said...

When I spoke at Laura's memorial gathering, I read a few of Laura's favorite quotes from a list that she had given me in 1994. Several people asked me for a copy of the list, so here it is.

These quotes were on her holiday letter that year. As we all know, whenever Laura read or studied something she liked, she asked everyone she knew to read or study it too. It appears that in 1994, she was studying NLP, because a big chunk of what follows is from some unidentified work of two early NLP trainers.

Words of Wisdom adapted from Leslie Cameron-Bandler and Metha Singleton

"The limit on your fulfillment derives from what you fail to conceive of to go for, more than from your capability to get it."

"Bring a sense of yourself to any relationship and express it. Otherwise there is no one there for another person to love."

"What you enjoy in life is a direct result of your attentive actions. Getting and having what you want results from the choices you make and the actions you take."

"If you participate (in any way), you are voting for it."

"People will be moved to connect with you if they have positive experiences when they are with you. To give positive experiences, it is necessary to notice the other's experience, not their judgment of you. Provide and participate in desirable experiences. Make the time spent with you better than time without you."

"Detect what you value in the other, and tell them about it. Always reinforce what you appreciate and enjoy."

"If you are being who you want to be and expressing yourself in the way you desire, and someone doesn't want you, you're better off without them."

"Defining yourself as a cluster of positive attributes, assigned by you to yourself, which you have based on your own values, experiences and intentions in daily life -- this will give you facility in making 'quality of life' choices."

"Having the ability to respond to your own values, perceptions and intuitions without relying on others for guidance will enhance your confidence, your self-esteem, and your ability to be 'true to yourself.'"

"Maintain standards that cause you to treat yourself well -- and that lead others to know to treat you well."

Famous Quotes

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results."
-- Author Rita Mae Brown

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."
-- French critic Charles Du Bos

"Death plucks my ear and says: 'LIVE -- I am coming.'"
-- Anonymous Latin poet

Infamous Quote

"When you look around your life and you notice that something is missing, don't go looking for it -- create it! The key is to design a compelling destination, while enjoying the journey!"
-- Laura Whitworth

Yes, this last one was Laura quoting herself. ;-}

-- C.J.

Sunday, April 15, 2007 6:19:00 PM

Blogger K'duite said...

Thank you C.J. for posting the quotes. I will save them and savor them, and the remembrance of hearing you speak at the memorial.

What a wonderful gathering, to see Laura's many friends and Judy and all the family; to hear her nephew play the beautiful piece he composed.

Emily Blakely ecblakely@cmspan.net

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