Welcome to Laura's Blog, facilitated by her friends and family. We invite you to continue to honor Laura's life and her impact on you by posting stories, memories and messages for Judy and our community. [Scroll down to the end for directions on posting messages]

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Personal Notes to Laura: January - March 1 2007

Hi Everyone, this is a place where you can post personal notes and expressions to Laura. Please use the other topic areas to engage in the "stimulating" dialog that Laura so much enjoys.

PLEASE MAKE NEW POSTS TO THE SECTION ABOVE TITLED: "PERSONAL NOTES FOR LAURA AND JUDY."

126 Comments:

Blogger K'duite said...

Laura, Happy New Year and full steam ahead!

Wow, I found a blank page on which to write. Hm-m-m-mmm, now to decide WHAT to write. I will be looking for how Christmas was special for you, and am hoping it was bright, joyous, just sensational.

Right before Christmas our community collected comfort items to send to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan and I was privileged to be the one to actually do the mailing. We sent 18 boxes, 353 lbs., to four soldiers and the boxes included about 150 phone cards. The individual soldier the boxes were addressed to will get to be 'Santa' and share the contents with their unit. I was surprised at how fast the boxes were delivered and their response really touched my heart. It was a highlight of Christmas for me.

So, things are a little quiet here on the blog but I'm sure that doesn't indicate a period of snoozing for anyone that usually comes here. I know for me, the days have been a whirlwind of activities and it is so good to be here, right now, where I can sit down and share a few thoughts with you.

You haven't said yet when you will be going to Mexico, but if it is soon or perhaps that you are already on the way, I send my prayers for a smooth journey and effective treatments. Treatments to start out 2007 with a quick, swift kick to boot the cancer.

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Thursday, January 04, 2007 10:08:00 PM

 
Blogger caseyandjenn said...

Hi Laura and Happy New Year! I am sorry we missed you last weekend, we were hoping to stop by and give some new year hugs. Case and I were at Bodega Bay spending quality time at the ocean. We sent our Laura Living Well wishes out the the great expanse of sea! While it was great beach time and my favorite place for reflection, we spent 3 days with 2 of our friends children, both of whom we love. After 3 days together, I can assuredly say, motherhood is not for me. So that is exciting to say out loud with a renewed sense that this is really the right decision. In a way, now I feel like I can get on with the next plan, knowing I'm not waffling around the issue. Anyway, that's the latest with me. I am still formulating what the theme is for 2007, but for you I wish only big wins in your fight and all you dream for yourself. Much love to you and Jude xxooxxoxox jen hagerman, yes, it's official :)

Friday, January 05, 2007 11:54:00 AM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Happy New Year,

Just got back from 5 day in Mendocino and had a truly lovely time enjoying our favorite place on the Coast. We only one one really rainy day the rest of the time, we walked along the beach and the headlands, read and ate, and of course, had some wine along the way.

Thinking of you and Judy as we brought in the New Year seatting out on the deck on NY Eve at Midnight looking out over the beach where there was a few fireworks going on ...

Looking forward to seeing you both again in the New Year and sending you love and light until we meet again.

Love,

Shekinah

Saturday, January 06, 2007 5:48:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you checked into this already?

Reata Announces RTA 402 Entering Clinical Development

Promising Oral Anticancer Drug Has Unique Preclinical Profile

DALLAS, TX –April 6, 2006 -- Reata Pharmaceuticals, Inc. today announced that its third development candidate, RTA 402, has received FDA clearance to begin clinical testing in patients with solid tumors, lymphoma, and myeloma. A clinical trial has been initiated with this agent at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center.

"Reata is very excited to begin clinical development of RTA 402, based on its striking preclinical profile," said Warren Huff, President and Chief Executive Officer of Reata. "In animal studies, this drug has shown excellent anti-cancer activity by itself, and when used in combination with traditional cancer therapies it enhances their anti-cancer effect while, remarkably, protecting normal tissues from harmful side effects. We believe this novel drug holds great promise for helping cancer patients, and look forward to the start of clinical testing.”

About RTA 402

RTA 402 (also known as CDDO-Me) is a novel targeted cancer therapy with a unique mechanism of action. It exploits fundamental physiological differences between cancerous and non-cancerous cells by modulating oxidative stress response pathways. As a result, the drug is toxic to cancer cells but induces protective antioxidant and anti-inflammatory responses in normal cells. In rigorous preclinical studies, RTA 402 has been shown to:

· inhibit growth and cause regression of cancerous tumors as a single agent and in combination with radiation and chemotherapy

· suppress radiation and chemotherapy-induced toxicities in normal tissues

· cause minimal toxicity in non-human primates when dosed orally at very high doses for 28 consecutive days

This combination of potent anti-cancer effects and protective effects in non-cancerous tissue is unique, and confirmation of this activity in clinical studies would afford RTA 402 a uniquely valuable position in the clinical treatment of cancer.

Reata has initiated a clinical trial of RTA 402 capsules in patients with solid tumors, lymphoma, or myeloma at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center. Initiation efforts are also underway at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. This trial will set a safe human dose for RTA 402, and will also provide insights into efficacy and side effects of the drug.

Reata’s Synthetic Triterpenoid Program

RTA 402 and a number of related drugs with the same mechanism of action were licensed by Reata from Dartmouth College and The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center. RTA 402 is the second of Reata’s synthetic triterpenoids to enter clinical studies. RTA 401 (also known as CDDO) began clinical testing in patients with leukemia during 2005.

In addition to these two lead drugs, several other analogues have shown highly promising activity in preclinical studies. Recently, the imidazolide derivative of CDDO (CDDO-Im) was featured on the cover of Cancer Research. This agent demonstrated excellent activity in preventing liver cancer in mice exposed to aflatoxin, a toxic fungus known to cause liver cancer in humans.

Sunday, January 07, 2007 10:25:00 AM

 
Anonymous heather said...

Ooops! Just realized that I posted this in your sacred space last night...I'm going to give this another try by pasting the whole thing I posted yesterday....But first, I have to tell you that I haven't been able to stop chewing on the conversattion here re "showing up" and how that issue has shown up in my life as well as here on your wonderful blog and in others' lives. I'll write more about that as it blossoms more fully...take care dear heart - -Love, Heather

*********************************


Balmy Upstate New York
Saturday, January 6

Hey there, sweet pea --

I've just taken a deep dive into your words of truth and in-to-me-see ( a.k.a. intimacy) and into the personal notes of others who L-O-V-E you. Whewph! I've taken so much in so quickly just now that I feel almost intoxicated with the outpourings of love and passion and caring without boundaries. With or without hair, you are still the Laura who changed my life in countless ways with countless pithy pointers throughout Leadership. I am touched to the core and inspired. Like Karen, I found myself wondering what if anything of value might be shown by shaving my head in the spirit of that beautiful song that KKH mentions ( and David Roth and others sing so touchingly)…

Like Helen, I have committed to visioning you in your healthiest, feeling f*****’ great mode…Your photos of your 59th make it easy to see you that way. Radiant, happy, strong and surrounded by love…I am touched to the core by your path and your commitment to truth and “working it” , always inspiring us to live bigger and more richly.

Your “showing up” conversation resonates deeply and I will be back to write more about that as I mull it over a bit. “Disappearing despite good intentions” is a game I know well. That’s an old pattern and it can, if permitted, trigger good old-fashioned Catholic girl guilt and shame. Since my days in leadership – when I re-gained my aliveness and oh so much more - -I’ve done better at holding the focus and showing up more consistently, but I tend to be able to hold that focus in only a couple of areas of my life at one time. In terms of holding the focus in my own head and heart, I manage to hold more than I outwardly manifest….There’s more work to be done AND progressis already duly noted.

It’s time for me to lay my weary head down. I’ll be back soon….But first, a quick reminder: Sam and I will be out in California the evening of Monday the 15th and all day the 16th.( Staying with Henry and Karen.) I will follow upwith you and Judy to see whether from your end a visit ( even an uber short visit ) is feasible. Seeing that you have both a bigger game day with the otters on Tuesday and the otters’ retreat formally starting on Wednesday, I am aware that this may not be the best time for you to have visitors. I'll let you and Judy call the shots on that one. I’ll be in touch shortly. In the meantime, know that we have you firmly in our minds and hearts as radiantly experiencing the health and beauty you are exuding….

Love always - -

Heather

Saturday, January 06, 2007 9:16:38 PM

Sunday, January 07, 2007 3:15:00 PM

 
Anonymous heather diddel said...

Hey there - -

I'm back briefly....I can't seem to figure out how to delete my mis-placed message in your sacred space....If anyone else can, please feel free to delete the message I cleverly deposited in Laura's posting place last night. Many thanks - Love - -Heather

Sunday, January 07, 2007 3:20:00 PM

 
Anonymous Brenda Dahlie said...

Dear Laura - HERE you are! Up here on top of the blog site. I don't know how I missed it - both your comments and others - and so sent a note to the December section. If you read it ( I won't bother cutting and pasting), you'll see that I got caught up in what I thought was a quiet time on this blog - everyone waiting to hear from you. And lo - you'd already bolted into the New Year with your actions wands a'blazing!! I have to say I feel immensely relieved:):)!

I'll go and regroup and come back tomorrow.

Huge hugs,
Brenda

Sunday, January 07, 2007 9:09:00 PM

 
Blogger Art Shirk said...

Happy New Year Laura!

I thought about you this morning and the FIGHT while I was at the gym this morning.... there I was, 6:30 a.m.... climbing away on the elliptical machine... feeling the heavy pressure and discomfort of angina in my chest... pushing my exertion to the highest amount of stress that I thought would be OK -- and, I was just hating it, thinking "oh, screw it... this hurts... I don't want to do this... it won't do any good anyway... and then I thought... "No! Fight! You need to do this fight every day... and everyday is a new day." Just because I engaged well in thefight yesterday does not give me license to put my feet up and give up today --- it begins anew every single day... and really in every moment.... choosing choosing choosing...

My best to you and Judy and happy new year to you both --- my love and thoughts are with you...

Art

Monday, January 08, 2007 7:29:00 AM

 
Anonymous Breeze Carlile said...

Hey Babe,

Still chewing on your inquiry about what Showing Up means. Here's more from me: “Showing up” is also about our stories and how difficult, even with the best of intentions it is, to give them up. Because in doing so we have to redefine who we are without that story.

For example, I wanted to attend the large public high school but instead was sent to a small Christian private school. I’ve been angry about that for years and yet it was in this smaller community that I developed the leadership & motivation skills as Class President, Captain of the Cheerleaders, First Chair in band and enjoyed the mercy of a geometry teacher (who liked me despite of my math skills) that resulted in, among other things, the support of CTI at its beginnings and the formation and definition of the profession of coaching.

So today I examined what changes in me as I Show Up, finally, without this story – that in fact my parents may have forced me to a school I didn’t want but gave me the great gift of opportunity, attention, the smaller pond where I flourished. And yet it is a very internal feeling place – not in my intellect – where the story has to be rewritten. Showing up is about wholeness, not thought. I can feel the reluctance to let go of this thread of the tumor that I carry comprised of resentments, disappointments, betrayals, cautions, slights and unmet desires. Even as I believe there is great joy without this thread (story line), there is reluctance to let go.

I notice that seeing it from a neutral, non judgement place helps me shift. Wry amusement at my arrogance towards my parents helps me shift. I notice smiling helps me shift. What else will?

Looking at my new dream board and the wants or wanting that I have illuminated for myself, helps. If those dreams aren’t enough to have me let go of this strand then I have not yet dreamed big enough for myself.

I’ll keep studying the board and focus on feeling the difference in my body from the freedom of what I have created versus the tightness of an old story. It could take time or it might be instantaneous. Meanwhile I’ll Show Up, practicing Me without that story in my world. This will reinforce the healthy feeling of its freedom. And then I’ll take on the next story/thread . . .

Loving you on this rocky path, Breeze

Monday, January 08, 2007 6:19:00 PM

 
Blogger Jeff Jacobson said...

Hey Cupcake, hang in there with those #$@%! lesions. I hope that finding another clinic went well, and that the decision-making process is going well.
Wanted to send you some lava-cake love on this January 9th day.
Love,
Jeff

Tuesday, January 09, 2007 12:27:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

Just found the new postings here at the top. I'm glad. I wondered where you went, and here you are!

XO Jeanne C

Tuesday, January 09, 2007 2:45:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura

In two days I am leaving to do work in Kenya, leading two workshops on team development. Most of the participants will be Africans. I was reading the blog postings and thinking about showing up and wondering how that theme fits into what I am doing out in the world and how I can keep the ripples on the pond going all the way to Africa.

I will bring showing up to these folks and I will model it for them to the best of my ability.

Thank you for showing the way, for getting that first ripple going.

Love

Lynne

Thursday, January 11, 2007 6:13:00 AM

 
Anonymous Barbara S said...

Happy New Year Laura & Judy! I was just 'passing through' and thought I'd drop a note.

Vancouver looks like a winter wonderland with a blanket of sparkling white and unusual for this coastal rainforest snow. It's expected to return to our usual 40 degrees F temps next week, in the meantime I'm enjoying the magic.

Laura, your spirit and determination never cease to amaze and inspire me. You are in my heart and I send you sparkling winter energy and clarity and love. B:}

Friday, January 12, 2007 8:57:00 AM

 
Anonymous Karen KH said...

Happy New Year dear one:

I'm looking forward to dancing with you next week!

As I read your posting about showing up, it brought to mind for me the Level 4 Leadership Model. . .particularly the ACT and STAY part.

You mentioned the STAKE at the center. ..the "for the sake of" and the ACT part. I wanted to make sure that STAY got included.

STAY is so great. It really does hold the essence of giving yourself fully to something. . .to STAY with it, through the rough waters and past the inveitable failures..
Recovering over and over again to that STAKE, the thing that you are standing for. Making sure that the "job" (whatever the job is) by god gets done.

I hope you are having a lovely (if somewhat chilly) Sunday. I'm going to call you in a little bit and see if I can't sneak in a little visit.

I love you,

Karen

Sunday, January 14, 2007 7:56:00 AM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Thank you for your latest post, I really hear the importance to you about interaction and being with others and having that aliveness and how important that is for you. So I am cheering for you this week as you the play with the Bigger Game and Leadership and I know that everyne will gain so much from your showing up and having them show up in that space of aliveness and learning.

I am sending your love and healing light all week so that your energy will sustain you all week and allow the energy of others in your space to continue to nuture you and keep you moving so that all may benefit from Showing Up in this space.

Love and Joy,

Shekinah

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 12:05:00 PM

 
Anonymous Hesteah said...

Laura,

Checking in I, once again, vibrate with the message you write. Having begun a new, bigger job - one I feel is the culmination of my employee benefits career - I am filled each day with the challenge of Showing Up. In addition to my work in the Awakening Joy class, my commitment to a nightly meditation session (however brief) has energized me to think big. Big breaths, big ideas, big heart....

Sending you energy for the week and all it holds as well as moments of rest to look around and take in all that you have created.

Loving you,

Hesteah

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 8:36:00 PM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Happy Retreat #3!!! May it fill you with sparks of energy and release healing enzymes throughout your being.

It was awesome learning of the RN that has come into your life bringing experience fitted to your needs. I don't know how you consider something like that......happen by chance? I count it as a blessing, something that comes by design. Yay!

I have been crunching through about 4 in. of snow for a week now. Yesterday was the cap to this episode.......many road accidents from vehicles/trucks sliding. Looking forward to warmer temps next week. Hope you are seeing more sunshine than we are.

Clyde and I, with 18 other participants, have just completed a leadership class in our community provided by the Ford Institute. Ours was the second class. The concept is to bring together people in the community to choose a project together that will be enhancing to the community as a whole, raise funds and work the project together. So, we have completed course work and roughly outlined a project, then we have the next year to make it a reality. Some of the participants are people we know slightly and others not at all, but it has been a great experience just getting to know these fellow citizens and contemplating doing a project together. We try to limit the project to a budget of about $12,000, then come up with ideas to raise about 2/3's of that. The project isn't so important as is the leadership skills we have hopefully acquired that will enable any of us to help our community in any number of future endeavors. I appreciate the BG concepts I learned and see this as a great opportunity to apply them.

Have a fantastic weekend, then rest, recoup, re-energize.

Love, hugs to you. Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Thursday, January 18, 2007 12:36:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura, (jen L here)

Just a few words. I want you to know that I am still here and reading your blog with interest.

Sending you prayers and good thoughts.

I am working these days on Presence, which has a lot in common with your ideas of Showing Up, I think.

I go back to the basics. What it's hard to stay present to, what it's easy to stay present to. How much easier it is to use activity or planning or socializing or general busyness to avoid simply being present to what is uncomfortable, or not even truly uncomfortable, just something other than comfortable or comforting.

I took on a chore I've promised countless coaches over the years--to go through a very old box of photos and papers. To organize and sort and throw out. That was a hard stack to be present to, let me tell you. Wedding photos of the marriage that ended long ago in divorce; old love letters; pictures of kittens that turned into cats and went missing; friends I have failed to stay in touch with. There were of course also many smiles: pictures of my leadership group, the Swords, including some of you and Henry and Elaine; beautiful places I felt so lucky to have seen; pictures of the Old City in Jerusalem that I visited in the mid-80s; a whitewater rafting trip where I got dunked into a Class 5 rapid and survived, shaken not stirred; old poems that I'd forgotten I'd written and hey I actually enjoy.

It was a little stack, by any standard, but a big stack of feeling for me. It's so much easier to be on autopilot and watch TV, than to feel all that going through that stack brought up.

So that's a few more cents on showing up--showing up for me, for myself, that is, seems to require a lot of compassion. I think it's easier for me to extend that compassion to others than to myself.

All for now. Sending you prayers and cyberkisses.

-jen

Thursday, January 18, 2007 11:45:00 AM

 
Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

Thinking of you during this week of the Otters' R3.

The silence. The space. The savoring. Ahhh.

May you take it all in.

XO Jeanne C

Friday, January 19, 2007 3:18:00 AM

 
Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

It was so good to assist you and Rick in doing your mini-Bigger Game workshop this week. It was such a great event. I loved sitting under your leading, once again.
I also enjoyed meeting Judy and Isha. You are truly in good hands. I'm sure that you and Karen are having a wonderful week with the playful Otters. I really liked them! And they love you and Karen. A blessing for all of you.

Love,
Debra

Friday, January 19, 2007 12:12:00 PM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Just heard that you had an Awesome week with the OTTERS, and you all really SHOWED up perfectly even with the return of the shingles you were able to be there and have a fantastic time. YAHOO... CONGRATULATIONS for giving once again your full commitment to showing up with whatever is going on with you and helping us all to see the incredible learning in that. Thank you Laura W for just being the wonderful human being you are to all of us.

Sending you love and healing this week. May your shkingles disappear and never return. May you have a week of pure DELIGHT. May you and Judy have some fun time to share and just love one another in peace and joy.

Sending you my love and BIG HUGS,


Shekinah

Sunday, January 21, 2007 6:22:00 PM

 
Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura,

I've been absent for a spell as I've been doing too much travel and too much leading. Wanted to congratulate you on being BRILLIANT at R3 of the Otters. (Rumor has it you were indeed brilliant!) Oh my. How you do inspire me. Thank you for that.

More to come as I get my own strength back. May this be a wonderful week of rest, healing, and savoring the afterglow of a great co-lead.

YAHOO!!

Love,
Helen

Monday, January 22, 2007 2:33:00 PM

 
Anonymous Scott Woodley said...

Laura,

Arriving home this morning after a sleep deprived all night flight post R3, the intensity of the experience with you, Karen and the Otters hit bodily with a force words cannot describe.

Saying yes to all of it - the full intensity and range and Sacred Mystery of all of it - feeling it in the marrow - the joy, the pain, saying yes to the full experience of it - the memory broke thru of you in intense pain with your head on my shoulder - and me feeling helpless to do anything but breathe with you and stay present -

And in the midst of reliving that moment, a song came to me - a song I used to sing to my children as babies when they would be in pain and cry in the middle of the night - Edelweis from the Sound of Music - I sang this song to you this morning and I cried and sent the beauty of that song to you with a love and intensity that words cannot capture. I hope it made your day a little better.

With Fierce Compassion,

Scott

Monday, January 22, 2007 6:35:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

This is Anita and I was fortunate enough to be part of the Otter's R3 with you last week. Lady Laura, you are amazing! You are so fiercely loving! You inspire each and everyone of us!

I saw this question today:
How are you going to inhabit this day?
Laura, you show us how to do this!

With Love, Joy and Huge Gratitude,
Anita

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 8:45:00 AM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara said...

Delicious Laura,

Wow, what an amazing week! Waking up this morning my body begins to integrate the love, beauty, compassion, mystery and magic of the Bigger Game and R3. It feels like a collective birth.

I feel every fiber of my body, mind, heart and soul was stretched to the perameters of the universe and back again.

I am living in the beingness of everything.

I feel so lucky and grateful...there just aren't words to capture the exquisiteness of the experience. You, Rick, the Bigger Game. Karen, the assistants and my amazingly fantabulous fellow Otters.

I wanted you to know what a difference you have made in my life. In my capacity to BE and be in service...truly.

AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhh and MMMMMMMMMM and I am sending you a cyber hug to fill you with all that you gave each of us and more.


XOX,

Maia

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 11:10:00 AM

 
Blogger Zoe Windsor said...

Happy New Year Laura!!
Just back from a big long and much needed holiday in South Africa after all my health stuff last year. It was just fantastic to recharge the soul. I spent some time in the remote wildneress of the Cederberg mountains. AAAhhh that did me good. Horse riding, swimming in the river - getting bitten/sucked by very curious little fish, swimming in the waterfall and getting sucked by more curious fish and sitting on the veranda watching possibly the most beautiful sky at night I have ever seen!! The depth of field was simply amazing...soooo beautiful... i was reminded again of that rythym of life that so often illudes me when I am back in the city. It is so slow apart from when action is required. Energy is conserved. The pace of life is just delicious out there. It really reminded me that I need to take that time out to go to remote wildnerness to recharge regularly.

Anyway, I am rambling...So I am sending you lots of love and gorgeous hugs...thinking of you and loving you...

oh yes nearly forgot to say...i bought lance armstrong's book - it's not about the bike and read it in one day!! what a man!! my father was a professional cyclist so a lot of it resonated with me. i could so clearly see, having lived with a professional cyclist, how being a professional cyclist at that level equiped him for the fight. and i can so clearly see that it is about being willing to go through and keep on going through that pain and physical suffering and never giving up the fight.

sending you lots and lots of love and energy to keep fighting!!!
zoe xx

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 4:43:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura

It is 2.30am and I cant sleep after returning from R3 with you, KKH and the Otters. I was lying awake letting my thoughts drift through the intense, amazing and yearned for learning and growth of the week past, when my commitment to come back with my thoughts on showing up got the better of me and here I am.

I have seen and experienced showing up and not showing up in a way I have never even been aware of before. I am like a sponge around this learning and am just soaking it up.

One bit I wish to offer is that showing up of the extent and substance that the Otters have been blessed to experience with you has created an indelible print on my heart and my soul. I know I have been seen and will always be seen. So I offer that when you show up and act with full permission and full responsibility with words, without, knowing names or not, something changes in that moment that will always be out there in the world and part of that person whatever they chose to do or whatever happens next.

Laura thank you for your knowing and seeing. Thank you for your words wisdom and fierce love and the impact it is having on me, my family, the Otters and beyond.

With love and gentle kisses

Jackie x

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 6:42:00 PM

 
Anonymous Wendy Tryhorn said...

Beautiful, Beautiful Laura:

Checking in again after R3. It truly was an inspirational journey for all of us - and you and Karen holding us so safe throughout.

From the collective gasp on first seeing you, especially for folks who weren't aware of the physical changes that had been taking place, to the sunshine that eminated as we each came to see you as more beautiful and more radiant day by day. I marvel at how collectively we came to truly see you Laura, and past the vessel that is the physicality. Yes the hats were wonderful, and changed daily, but the real beauty was in our ability to finally see- wholly, fully, beautifully, without judgement, and with abandon! You give us that gift.

And the closing was soooo brave, and breathtaking, and so needed to be said. Another powerful gift. Talk about staying! Your commitment to staying, demands that we too stay, consciously, at full choice, and knowing both the pain and the profound significance of this journey and our roles in it.

I say YA! To you, to the beautiful inspiration that you are, to the brave spirit that you share, to the transparency, and to the lessons that you teach, and the imprint- not only on our hearts, but to the very core of our souls that you leave.

In love and wonder
Wendy

Thursday, January 25, 2007 6:48:00 AM

 
Anonymous Wendy Tryhorn said...

I'm really struggling with whether or not to post this. The comment about coming across a poem, reminded me of this poem, which I wrote on my Aunt's passing from brain cancer many years ago. It was a healing message for her kids, who recipricated by sending it back to us on my Mom's passing from spindle cell cancer.

AND it occurs to me that as lovely as that was, oh to have actually spoken the words TO my Aunt, or TO my Mother, and not just to their memory. I have often thought that Mark Twain had it right. Wouldn't we all want to attend our own funerals, to hear the impact we've had on others? And what a waste to not share that impact right here, right now (hmmmm don't think there was much learning in R3 hey?!?).

So it is in the spirit of knowing the impact you have on the present, that I share this now.

I remember you as you were
When last we met
It is the distinction
Between appearance
And reality.
Often, as I go about my day
My thoughts drift
To You.
It is not the discord
Between body and brain
That I recall
Not the war
Being raged within the vessel
That was you
It is the harmony
Between spirit and soul
The reality
That IS you.
I recall,
How with such great courage
You faced your foe
How with dignity
You refused to succumb
To the appearance.
It is with pride
That I remember,
A pride so strong
It makes me weep.
Your legacy continues-
In the husband
Who by your side
Found strength of character
He feared, he'd not have.
In the children
Who've called you Mom
In how each is forever imprinted
With you
On their souls.
It is the gifts you gave
Even in parting
The Gift of laughter
Of courage
Of love
And ultimately of freedom -
For yourself,
Freedom from pain,
For us
Freedom for life.
I shall take with me always
The lesson -
To stand and fight
No matter the odds
No matter the cost -
But also the greater lesson
That in the end
With strength of character
And dignity of soul
To go.
It was diffcult to reconcile
Your passing
Since still you are needed so,
And then I remembered
This earth
Is but training for what lies beyond
And when we have learned our lessons well
We graduate
To God's embrace.
We still have much to learn
You have not
For you have learned your lessons well.

Laura, the Level 3 continues to yearn for more of you, AND we stand in service to you.

Wendy

Thursday, January 25, 2007 7:16:00 AM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

Thinking of you as this week winds down and you are making decisions....Mexico or not.....weighing benefits, options.

Many wonderful postings from R3. Wendy's poem was wonderful!

Wishing you sunshine and strong energy.

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Friday, January 26, 2007 4:43:00 AM

 
Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hi Laura Laura Bo-Baura...

I am so very glad that you had a deep and rich experience with your Otters, and am sorry that the shingles and post-shingles thing appeared - it sounds awful.

It is cooooolllddd here in Boston. Work on our new house is coming along -- the creation of it is a wonderful thing for me and John and makes me deeply grateful. I'm comfortable up here in my attic apartment in the meantime... me the two dogs and a few rogue squirrels that I am doing my best to evict, thus far with little luck.

I have a R1 in mid-March and hope to see your sweet face then -- next week off to lead my first retreat 5 with Karen - certainly looking forward to that.

On we go -- lots of love to you,

Art

Sunday, January 28, 2007 7:56:00 AM

 
Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hello, Sweet Laura - I have not posted for a short while but I have been visiting to see how you're doing and feeling. Why have I not posted? Well, I guess because my life at the moment seems a bit trivial compared to what you are experiencing, and that makes me a bit shy. And I started wondering if maybe that's one place where people go? So, I pulled myself from that spot to where I am now sharing a bit of triviality with you. Perhaps you could use some at the moment?

We took our three kids to Disneyworld for a few days recently and what a party we had. Both of our girls are still into the princesses and it was magical to see them react. Every time I go to DisneyWorld I think of what a visionary Walt Disney was, and how his legacy survives and continues to grow so many years after his death. He created magic and a safe space to be a child (regardless of one's age) by envisioning a place where people are so carried away by the magic that it supercedes everyday life and experiences. I can't help but wish we had more Walt Disneys in the world today. We could all use more magic in our everyday lives.

The kids have been fighting colds and assorted viruses and that's kept Tom and I hopping. Other than that, we've just been going through the motions of life. And I'm glad for our little routines. They are warm and reassuring at the moment. :-)

I wish you much more good health in the near future, Laura. You are way past due to get some really good news, and we're expecting it will come soon. Why not? It's time, you've earned it, and you deserve it. It's time for some magic and a miracle. And I pray for it daily for you.

Lots of love, Maria Garza-Lennon

Sunday, January 28, 2007 8:12:00 PM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Hi Laura,

We have been in the frigid zone for a while......was hoping you were getting warmer weather, and you will soon I am sure. I find that the cold makes me cranky, impatient, downright ugly sometimes. Have to be out early to let animals out of the barn, chickens out of the hen house, etc. and just to get enough of the right clothes on to weather the cold is a chore. Once I get it on I feel like a stuffed penguin waddling out to the barn. Try climbing the ladder to the hay loft when your body is unbending from layers of clothing! Not that you would be so inclined as to do barn chores. I must be insane. Normally Clyde does these chores and I manage the smaller pets but he is working a 3-month contract as a traveling nurse and spends 3 or 4 days a week in Tillamook. I am so looking forward to the warmer weather, grass will grow, animals won't require as much hay and so on.

Changing the subject, do you remember the old ladies that were in our Peace Corps group? I was amazed that they were traveling to such remote areas at their age. Well, now I'm nearing the age they were and I am cosidering a trip to Mongolia. A young friend of mine is in vet school and will be going there with a group of veterinarians. The trip is for two weeks and I have been invited to apply as a volunteer. Not sure yet what a volunteer would do. I think I am up to the journey but feel I do need to work on a more intense exercise routine in preparation. I have always been drawn to articles on Mongolia but would not just decide to go there on my own. With a group on a mission, I felt it was a great opportunity. So, we will see. The women in our PC group did really well as I recall, better than some of the younger set. I will keep you posted, but the trip isn't until August.

Reaching back to you, remembering you daily in the fight.

Love, Emily

Sunday, January 28, 2007 10:55:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

I am so sorry to hear about your pain. Thinking of you a lot, each and every day.

XO Jeanne C

Monday, January 29, 2007 4:22:00 AM

 
Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura,

I'm still here! I'm sorry that pain is such a frequent/constant companion of late. Between the pain clinic and Joseph's plan - may you discover magical treatments for it. I can only imagine the impact it must have on your mood, patience levels, etc. When I'm in pain it can be so all consuming. How does it do that? Even if it's just a little thing, it can take over for periods of time. When it's BIG pain the taking over can be BIG too. Yucko!

I hear that this is part of the fight. I hear it loud and clear.

When I went to the video store the other day, I picked out films with lofty themes and worth-my-time titles. My daughter chose dance movies she's seen before. My son chose Jet Li's movie - Fearless. So far, I've watched one of the dance movies and Fearless... the lofty films are still in the bag. :)

Fearless was amazing to watch. Talk about THE FIGHT. At first he fought for all the wrong reasons and it led to some disasterous outcomes. As he evolved and matured, so did his fight. He fought with honor and commanded deep respect in the process. It was amazing to watch him recover constantly while fighting. If he didn't return back to his center as quickly as he was knocked off center, the consequences were clear, immediate, and often severe. That's how he won again and again... recover, recover, recover.

That's what you do... again and again.

Okay... then there's another movie running in my life... a different relationship with The Fight. I have two women friends who are each on the verge of divorce. They THINK they've been fighting for years... but my perspective is that they've been complaining for years. There's a big difference between FIGHTing for something you want and believe in, and complaining about something you want but don't have. After a while, the complaining gets tiresome and it feels easier to give up.

Maybe this is the difference between FIGHTING FOR and FIGHTING AGAINST. My ex-husband and I fought AGAINST each other, rather than fighting FOR the marriage's success. In those moments when it felt like together we were fighting FOR the marriage, it felt like we could conquer anything together. When we were fighting AGAINST each other, we kept taking turns being the one to give up first.

I get so frustrated at my friends who have the tools and resources to fight FOR their marriages, but instead are giving up the fight AGAINST their husbands. They can't see that they are two different battles that need two different strategies. I want to shake them and make them fight for what could be amazing. I want them to do better than I did!

So... back to your pain. I guess I'm curious who/what your fight is when the pain is running the show. Do you find yourself fighting AGAINST the pain and the cancer's strength? Or are you fighting FOR your life? If you catch yourself fighting against the pain, what happens when you make yourself fight for your vibrant life instead? Does it change?

Wanted to give you something to play with and explore to distract you from the distraction of pain.

I'm learning tons here too...

Thanks for the space to explore such thoughts.

I love you and am willing to hold your pain while you rest. Visualize these big ol' arms holding on to that pain for you... however it needs to be held.

Love,
Helen

Monday, January 29, 2007 11:26:00 AM

 
Anonymous Mary Driscoll said...

Dear Laura,

I just want you to know I think of you often, send my healing energies to all of you, and especially for your pain - you are a love and this blog is a big love for so many of us - it's been quite a journey and continues to be so - One of my sayings when I don't like something is "That's such a pain!", but that just pales when I consider your pain - I find of late that when I am able to be occupied with other thoughts and activities, my pain subsides, but mine isn't a physical pain and that's a difference...Laura, I hope you are able to rest and somewhat peacefully during your day...

Lots of love to you,
Mary

Monday, January 29, 2007 1:40:00 PM

 
Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Miss Laura,

What a wonderful surprise yesterday was! Talk about showing up. It seems like we have talked quite a bit here about showing up for what's hard. I watched you show up for what matters...saying goodbye to Andrew. You must know how much he loved that. And it was such a gift for the CTI staff to get to meet you and Judy.

I know that you are in pain and that you are struggling with that and yet...I saw that you had a compelling purpose that pulled at your heart and drew you out and apart from the pain. It was still there, but there was also joy and beauty and celebration.

Thank you for being here and for honoring and loving Andrew. It meant the world to him.

Love,
Debra

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 2:54:00 PM

 
Anonymous Barbara S said...

Dear Laura

Pain sucks! It's hard not to be short, irritable, distracted and miserable when pain is a constant companion. Curious - hmmmm I'm not sure I've ever been really curious about pain. But let's ponder that. There are many kinds, intensity and sensations of pain. Pain can be physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual. Pain can be life giving - like childbirth, life affirming - like recovering from a painful experience, useful, useless... What else?

It can be harder to be with someone else's pain - especially someone you love, than your own. How is Judy with your pain? Hi Judy - how are you with Laura's Pain? When my daughter had surgery and was in a lot of pain afterwards I felt it in a visceral way. I felt helpless in the wake of her suffering. Thank goodness the surgery was successful and she got great benefit from it.

Okay - now I am curious about pain. Thanks Laura, for opening a door to a different dimension.

You're in my heart and I send you love, pure light and healing energy. Love B:}

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:16:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura-la--I'm writing from bali, where it's steamy, steamy, steamy. I know you've been having the coldest winter in years; it's hard to imagine at this moment but I know how it cuts to the bone.

My dad had shingles a decade ago and it was the most painful thing that ever happened to him. I am so sorry you have to be going through this...and so thrilled you had the BG workshop and Leadership to distract you--no more, to call you out in where you love to play and where you are the best in the world at what you do.

I love you lots, Laura, and have been praying for you in flower-strewn hindu temples for the past two weeks.

Much much love to you and Jude. I look forward to seeing you next month.

Kisses--caroline

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 11:59:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura
I hope your relationship with pain leaves you some peace.
Glad you had a great R2 with Otters. It is almost a year now since our Earthquake R4 - hard to beleive it possible. And, it is amazing how clear still the echo of your words.
Love
Jeanne b

Thursday, February 01, 2007 6:45:00 AM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

Missing you and the A Team this week as I am with my family in Connecticut helping the family ease a major transition for my mom to enter a Home for the Elderly. It has been an intersting week to visit with Mom and see her with so many other elderly patients who are not able to care for themselves. My sister had my mom with her for 20 years and it has gotten to the point where she can no longer care for her. The home is lovely, they have all kinds of activities for her and she seems to be very well taken care of. We are all so grateful that we have found a place close to my sister only 10 minutes away for her to be comfortable. She is such a love and all the nurses seem to be taken with her also.

I just read you last post and I am so sorry to hear you are still in so much pain. My heart and love go out to you and I am praying for relief for you from the pain and senindg you lots of love and healing for your journey. Hope the pain specialist can give you some ideas on how to work with this. Knowing who you are I am sure you will do it RIGHT and if there is something to learn you will learn it and do it fabulously.

I am having a very intersting experience Back East watching my judgements about growing old and not having control of myself like so many of these beautiful men and women in the home do not .. and also the lovely care of people who work with them and treat them with dignity and grace. It is lovely. They are all Angels.

May you and Your Angel Judla be well, I look forward to seeing/talking with you both when I return.

Love,

Shekinah

Thursday, February 01, 2007 7:25:00 AM

 
Anonymous Scott Woodley said...

Laura,

Focusing on you intensely today - from the infinite depth of heart, sending brilliant Love and Blessings your way.

Soak it in. Soak in it - the soothing waters of shanti, shanti.

Fierce Compassion,

Scott

Thursday, February 01, 2007 12:06:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura & Judy,

Sharna & I are back from our dreamy "long weekend" in Maui. We saw the humpback whales for the first time ever, and oh my what an amazing sight they were. Very aweing, especially when we would see them breach/jump out of the water. We had a beautiful time and so enjoyed the warmth and being away from wintery SF!

I will be honest here and go out on a limb and say that I don't know how to engage around the topic of "pain." I wonder if anyone else has this problem too? I'm sure they must... What in the world do I write here? I want to say that I am sorry you are in pain, and I can't imagine what that pain must be like. And then what comes to my head is "Boy, I don't want to think about what that pain is like" and "I hope I never know" And then I find myself thinking about something else...like the whales in Hawaii. Hmmm... It is easier to think about just about anything else besides pain!!! And if I do engage with it, it feels like I can hold it for only a moment before I just want to travel off to some other topic...any other topic... especially the whales in Hawaii! But for you Laura, I will stay here for a moment longer, though it is hard. It is hard to think about you being in pain, and hard to think about how Judy feels seeing you in pain. I want you not to be in pain! Don't confuse that with not fighting though - I want you to keep fighting and apparently that means you have to be in pain for now. My wish is for you and what I will hold for you then is that you just keep on fighting through that pain, and that you come out at the other end of it healed and healthy. Back to fight fight fight!

But it is very interesting...this difficulty in engaging with pain. I guess it's somewhat obvious...who wants to engage with something painful??? Obvious but not so obvious until I put it into words here and realized that I so just wanted to write about the whales....!

Anyway, lots of love to you and Judy, and thank you for helping me to pause a moment in my day and do something that apparently does NOT come naturally... I hope that it is worth something to you and feeds your fabulous and brilliant mind - at least for a moment...as long as I could hold it!!

Love,
Kim

Thursday, February 01, 2007 1:28:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

Thinking of you and checking in from Vermont. It is still dark here this morning. It is Groundhog Day. The light is growing and the earth is beginning to tilt towards spring.

XO Jeanne C

Friday, February 02, 2007 3:43:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laura, (Jen L here)

My Mom had shingles a year or so ago. On advice from the pharmacist, she got some pain cream. It did basically nothing. Then she ground aspirin into a paste with some oil mixed in and put it on the spots. And that worked a little bit. But still she said it hurt like hell.

I found and offered a small stash of prescription painkillers and those really helped. In the morning, she said "You saved my life." I'm like, yeah sure Mom whatever. She said, "No. No kidding. I've had broken bones that didn't hurt as much as that. I wanted to die. I couldn't take it anymore." Now keep in mind this is a woman who survived three months in a halo after having cervical vertebrae fused. She knows pain. So, yes, I have a lot of respect for the pain of shingles. A few months later, she had herself ambulanced to the hospital because she thought she was having a heart attack. Now we know that was the post herpetic neuralgia you write about. Nasty bad stuff, my friend. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this too.

In my research into my own undiagnozed malady (mainly fatigue) I came across an article that correlates depression and pain for arthritis sufferers. Guess what they found out? Treat the pain and the depression gets better. My learning? Don't underestimate the psychological cost of pain. Even mild pain showing up chronically makes me cranky. I yell at the dogs and am A)deeply embarrassed, and B)really glad I don't have children, and C)very happy no on else is around that I have to apologize to.

So.... I would be curious if pain didn't make someone cranky. I am curious at your curiosity. And wishing you whatever pain relief legal or not that works for you.

Please know you are in my thoughts daily, and in my prayers when I pray, and when I see wild things in the fields I think of you and your meadow and hope the turkeys are not bothering you and Judy too dearly.

Big hugs,

-jen

Friday, February 02, 2007 10:19:00 PM

 
Anonymous Fierce Compassion said...

Hello Laura,

You have been on my mind and in my heart and I send love and blessings to you from deep within. There is a recurring thot/urge that keeps coming back.........

I expect that you will be with us at R4. I don't know how it will happen and it's not a demand - I will except what ever happens as the will of the universe, but I am expecting that you will be there and I like doing that - It feels good to hold that intention for you and for us. I expect to see you at R4 and to laugh and cry and grow with you again. I expect that you will be well and strong enough to complete the chapter that we started together. I expect and want and yearn and dream for this to be so - to see you again and look into your incredible eyes and be with you in person once again. I know that you are also fed by this. Close your eyes and receive our love. May it ease your pain and sooth your soul.


- Scott

Sunday, February 04, 2007 1:23:00 PM

 
Anonymous Pat Obuchowski said...

Hello Dear and Gentle Heart,
Just a quick 'hello' before some of the Sharks gather again to be at R#5 with Karen and Art tomorrow. Already!
Ahhhhh, what learnings we anticipate and what joy we plan when we show up with full permission and heartful impact!
I'm rooting for you and thinking of you every morning when I'm walking my dog, Maggie, and going through my gratitude list. After thanking God for another day, you're right there on top, and I am always wishing you an easy day full of sun.
Love,
Pat

Monday, February 05, 2007 5:06:00 PM

 
Anonymous Barbara S said...

Hi Laura

Just passing through and thought I'd say Hello!

In the past 2 months we lost our 15 year old dog and her 14 year old daughter is in the final stages of lymphoma. She is feeling good, eating well but is very slow and lethargic (it's all about quality of life!) We know we want another dog in our lives and 2 weeks ago I met an 8 month old black mini poodle. The last sort of dog I thought I wanted. Sofie came home to us last Sat and is such a joy. I was worried my old dog would not take to her but she seems quite okay with it. Dogs can teach you so much about life. They live totally in the moment.

You are in my heart Laura. Barbara :}

Tuesday, February 06, 2007 12:02:00 PM

 
Anonymous Peg said...

Originally Posted: Tuesday, January 30, 2007 1:44:01 PM


Peg said...
Laura...

Ok so I've been staring at this damn box now for 10 minutes trying to figure out how to say what I want to convey to you. I am reminded of a friend advising me when stuck in a different situation to just "speak from the heart." I am going to trust that you can read my heartbeats from where you are...that you can feel it's yearning from here....for you to be relieved from your pain yet alive to every single moment, for you to know all the way through how much you are loved and admired, that my heart wants to explode from the gratitude for you and the gift that you bring to me and so many others...I am selfish in wanting more of you and yet I am aware that you continue to teach me (and will forever more) as I speak the mantra you embossed on my heart ("You can worry but you may not doubt"). I carry you proudly and forever in my heart.

Otter Peg

Tuesday, February 06, 2007 4:18:00 PM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Hi Sweet Laura,

Just got back from Connecticut. Had a very good week, but OHHHH so COLD.. Brrrrr. I have no idea how those folks in the East live there. I am so grateful to be back.

I am missing you and Judla MUCHO and sending your both lots of love and BIG HUGS and wishing that you have ease today in your body and heart. I want you to breathe with me for a moment in time, IN and OUT now a BIGGER Breathe, IN and OUT, and one more IN AND OUT, know that my breath went out to meet yours and it is filled with healing and love to meet you as you take your next step in healing your body.

Love,

Shekinah

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 4:35:00 PM

 
Anonymous David Miller said...

Hi Laura and Judy,

We think of you often. I just read about your shingles and -pain-. Ouch. My Mom did that one, could barely stand to wear clothes for a couple of years. May All that Lives and Breathes us grant that you come to the other side of that one sooner than she did!

I'm slowly ratcheting down my engineering work, leaving more time for art. Yea! Here's a new online place I found to show my art. It's easier to update than my website, more informal and an artist's community, so I put new work there more often:

http://pabloruiz.deviantart.com/

Lots of love and wishes and prayers for well and happy,

David and Anita

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 6:36:00 PM

 
Anonymous Karen Steckler said...

Hi Laura,

When I read your entries I find myself getting lost in words and deep in feeling. I really want to find a secret sauce to make your pain to go away.

Question. Have you seen the pictures on the Otter web site from R3? If you haven't, there is one in particular, #88 to be exact, it is a picture of a beautiful, strong, sex-type beauty who has the biggest heart, who is so generous and has such a passion for "Wanting" and teaching others to "WANT" that I have ever met.

Go up to the web site and you'll know who I'm talking about...

Just so you know, R3 was life changing for me. Like having an organism for the first time, life changing! Yes that darn good. So, thank you for WANTING so much that you fought through the pain to stay with us. Just know that a huge universe is Wanting for you to have more painfree days, weeks and years and loves you very much.

Talk to you again soon. With much love,

Otterette Karen S.

P.S. Hi Judy - it was great meeting you, please come visit us again!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 6:54:00 PM

 
Anonymous Chuck Allen said...

Hi Laura,

I was moved to write, as you were in my dream last night. You were urging me to continue doing the work that mattered to me, that I was carrying on an important legacy. It was quite moving--one of those dreams that lingers through the day.

Wherever you are and however you're feeling, I know you are accompanied in spirit by many others like me whom you continue to inspire and challenge.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 8:25:00 PM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Hello Laura @ 2:30 a.m., just in case you are awake and to let you know you are not alone.....never with all the friends who visit here.

I hope you were able to grab some of the sunshine last week. Spring is coming. I heard frogs in our marsh tonight for the first time and we had some rain today. We have acres and acres of Weyerhauser timber behind us that we take walks in. It is so beautiful, saw a couple deer up there. We also have a herd of elk that we see from the road on the way to town. So far I have never met them on the highway and hope I never do. Love to see them in the field. Up there in the woods, in the still beauty, I am reminded of the Psalms 23. I know the timber company will be headed to cut up there before much longer and then we will lose that beautiful sanctuary. I'm not sure how long it has been since it was last cut, maybe 30-50 years. We love to look at the vegetation in the spring, mosses so delicate. We have Lady Slippers up there too. Have you ever smelled one? Small, purple, very fragrant. Someone should bottle that scent. They usually flower around May. Now that I've taken you on a walk in the woods, your nose may be itching for smells of spring.

Last I wrote I mentioned possibly going with a veterinarian group to Mongolia and tonight I filed their application and paid the app. fee, so now I am committed. It will be July 23-Aug. 4.

A tough to you, Laura. Prayers for you, for everything you desire, for healing.

Love, Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Thursday, February 08, 2007 2:56:00 AM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Oops, that was a Touch to you, not a tough to you. Typo! Love, Em

Thursday, February 08, 2007 2:59:00 AM

 
Anonymous Sara Smith said...

Laura, Was talking with Peg Clarkson a day or two ago and we wondered about you so I thought I would write. I want to post hope and love from Texas to California. You know, you show up in my thoughts often and whenever you do, I send love and energy your direction. Keep the light shining over there, girl. Love you, Sara

Thursday, February 08, 2007 11:54:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,

It's Mena from Toronto - we met briefly at R4 in Dec (Deer tribe). I do hope you are doing well...i think of you often.

I drove to Michigan last Friday - to be a volunteer adult facilitator for Challenge Day and WOW!!! It was so powerful and exceeded my hopes and expectations (it was so much more than I saw on Oprah). What an unbelievable experience to witness the transformations and breakthroughs for close to 100 Grade 7 and 8 kids!! I LOVED it and I am more determined than ever to bring this to Canada in a big way...(not that I'd limit it to here).

There are some roadblocks in that you have to live in San Fran to train to be a leader AND they are so in demand and over capacity right now that they are booking into NEXT spring! That's a long wait. Their Board of Directors is looking at how to expand it - I'm told they won't have answers for a while. So,as I see it, I can do just one more thing (suggest some solutions) before I start getting to work on a program that sees the same kind of outcome. Gulp! This feels like Bigger Game territory to me. ;)

In the meantime, the wildest things are happening - i went to the hot tub a couple of days ago, and THREE teachers were in it! Yesterday, I was volunteering at an event that the ICF/GTA held - Leading in a Time of Global Crisis - with Julio Olalla. I hadn't paid for a ticket and didn't feel good about going up to listen in...about 5 minutes in, a woman came to me at the reg'n desk (I was alone by that time), and said, "this lady called, said she can't make it, and would like to donate her ticket." What a gift! He was fantastic AND,as it happened, a former teacher was sitting beside me. Yes, we'll be talking more about Challenge Day and the idea of me doing my own version.

We'll see what's in store next...

Also, Helen House's last post is part of the reason I'm writing. I'd wanted to write for a while - from the first time I saw The Secret. Not sure if you've seen it? I assumed you did, which is part of the reason I didn't write sooner. They talk about how when you fight AGAINST something, it gives it more energy and power...and suggest that rather than being anti-war, anti-drugs that you be PRO peace, etc. That what you focus on, you create more of...and rather than focusing on what you don't want, focus on what you do want. And that combined with unwavering faith and belief, you will get what you want - because of the Law of Attraction.

Has me curious about what might be possible for you and us, if we all fully believed that...especially in the midst of great pain and discomfort.

More food for thought...
Huge hugs from Toronto,
Mena

Thursday, February 08, 2007 1:26:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha...my aunt just called. I forgot - The Secret is on Oprah today! I'll have to watch it later.

Thursday, February 08, 2007 1:42:00 PM

 
Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura and Judy,

I'm joining Isha in holding a powerful intention for your healing in Mexico. May you feel held on your journey.
May you return to us warmed up, healed up, and free of pain.

Loving you from Michigan!

xo,
Helen

Thursday, February 08, 2007 2:08:00 PM

 
Blogger Hope Langner said...

Dear Laura,

I'm joining Isha, Helen, and many others in holding a powerful healing intention for you, and I'm sending you lots of positive healing energy from the east coast.

Love from upstate NY,
Hope

Thursday, February 08, 2007 5:03:00 PM

 
Anonymous Linda JT said...

Hi Laura, Judy and Isha

I normally email behind the scenes, but I know the potential of openly joining the power of intention that you have created Isha, along with many others. I'm on board too.

Linda x

Friday, February 09, 2007 12:48:00 AM

 
Blogger Lora Banks Ley said...

Dear Laura and Judy:

I can guess that it is difficult to focus on healing when there is so much pain and yet, you continue to do it. I remember how difficult it was to focus on the potential joy in the birth of my children when the pain was present. For me it was like, ok f--- it, give me the epidural and let's get to the joy part. And for you, the challenge is different.

So I cannot know your pain but I empathize with it and admire your spirit and commitment to your health.

I do want to make sure that you have heard about this promising treatment out of Canada called DCA (I don't know what it means but someone else will.) I have a client who is a medical researcher and he tells me the research is incredibly compelling and not likely to make it to the US because of patent law etc. He also tells me that the drug has passed FDA safety testing here in the US for other ailments so is accessible.

I am of course available to connect the two of you if the urge arises. I love that you continue to look for healing and possibilities and perhaps, this is one.

All my love,


Lora

Friday, February 09, 2007 8:03:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara (Otter Tribe) said...

Hi Laura and Judy,

Judy I forgot to mention how lovely it was to meet you and laugh together at the Otter R3.

I am imagining that you and Laura get to carry the healing power of all that wildly entertaining creativity and joy with you as you travel to Mexico, returning home vibrantly transformed and completely healed.

Laura, I send you a compassionate cyber hug as you explore being with pain.

It is such a visceral experience; collapsing time, space, choice and our "respond" "ability" like nothing else does. We just instinctively recoil from pain...it drives us places. Usually away as far as fast as possible.

I have danced with pain a few times in my life. Chronic pain, acute long term pain and of course the 3 times in labor giving birth sort of pain.

During one of those experiences I had the good fortune to be with someone who was comfortable and experienced with being with extreme pain.

I was suffering. First I had the fight...the "I can take anything lean into my tenacity" kind of resolve. Then came the anger and rage at the discomfort. The feelings of hopelessness and despair that I could not be with.

At one point my friend asked me what would happen if I just moved toward the pain...I did. The inquiry itself was helpful because it placed me smack dab back in the square of choice. Moving from instinctual reaction to it, to choice about it brought me to a very sweet and profound cycle of surrender. pain. surrender. pain. surrender. pain. healing. surrender. healing. surrender. healing, surrender...health. Health! Healing! Health!

I thought if I surrendered I would die. I did surrender. I did not die. I wonder if this comes up for you in your healing process. Balancing the fight with the surrender toward health?

I am sending you love and deep gratitude for sharing your journey. I look forward to your thoughts and hearing from you soon.

Love,
Maia

Saturday, February 10, 2007 7:14:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Hello, Sweet Laura. I was reading CNN.com today and ran across the following article. Miracles happen everyday, and we continue to hold the space for yours. It's coming!
---------------------
NEW YORK (AP) -- Daniel Walker was on his final lap jogging in his high school gym class when he collapsed, his flawed heart giving out on him.

More than four days later, his heart at a standstill, kept alive by a bypass machine, it began beating again. The 17-year-old's parents called it divine intervention. His physicians were no less amazed.

"I've been a surgeon for 10 years, and this is probably one of the most incredible things I've ever seen," said Dr. Abeel Mangi, one of Walker's cardiac surgeons at New York-Presbyterian Hospital Columbia.

Walker's father described his son's recovery in spiritual terms. "God turned around, put His hand on my son, and recharged him," said William Walker, 58, a retired sanitation worker.

His son's ordeal began January 19 when he collapsed in gym class. The younger Walker suffered from a rare congenital heart flaw that left his coronary artery pinched, giving him only 10 percent of normal heart capacity. He was shuttled to two hospitals before finding himself at Columbia, waiting for a heart transplant, attached to the bypass machine.

Walker's cardiac surgeons said they could not account for the young man's recovery.

"It's a miracle," Mangi said. "There's really no other way to put it."

Two days after it began to beat on its own, surgeons were able to fix the flaw in Walker's heart, increasing its capacity to 60 percent.
----------------
We're praying for you, Laura. Love, Maria Garza-Lennon

Monday, February 12, 2007 3:42:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a litle more about the DCA research coming out of University of Alberta...they are saying it's promising, and there are some things to be aware of.

http://www.depmed.ualberta.ca/dca/

My thoughts are with you, Laura, as I join others in wanting and intending warmth, ease, healing and wellness for you.
Mena xo

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 1:46:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara said...

Hello Laura,

Yesterday Oprah had Dr. Oz on her show. He co-wrote "You the Owner's Manual". I think he is a cardiologist by training and was one of the doctor's on President Clinton's heart bypass surgery team.

I am sharing this with you because while you have been healing in Mexico Dr. Oz just globally announced:

"Alternative medicine is a key part in healing. Energy medicine/treatments like acupuncture, reiki, nutrition are the future of healing....

Yeah Laura! The conversation is happening between renowned conventional doctors and the alternative practitioners.

Dr. Oz is passionate about this conversation taking place too!

I see the conference of your dreams between these two groups being globally well attended.

May you enjoy a nourishing re-entry. I look forward to hearing about your journey soon.

Love,
Maia

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 7:42:00 AM

 
Blogger Harper Mann said...

Hi All,
Check out this cool website done by some friends of mine. It's a Valentine's Day card to Mom Earth.
http://www.planetfesto.org/
Please add your own entry if you can take a minute. It's interesting reading anyway.
Love,
- Harper

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 9:59:00 AM

 
Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

I'm sending you and Judy a heartful of love and good wishes. I hope the trip to Mexico has been a restorative one.

Love and kisses,
Debra

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 4:43:00 PM

 
Anonymous Melissa said...

Dear Laura,

Envisioning healing, miracles big and small, and your cup running over with joy and gratitude. Hoping to see you somehow in late Feb, early March, to continue the march, the dance, the unfolding of BG (the book, the message, the vehicle, any and all of it).

Thank you someone for posting back in December (I think) about the distinction of showing up "for whom" or "for what". I've noticed that in the last few months, I've shown up less consistently here, not so much because I've "gone away" or moved into a comfort zone, but because I've been called to show up bigger in other places. For aging in-laws that needed to be moved into assisted-living. For a husband with break-thru seizures (and other stuff) who can't drive for awhile, for a child with chronic headaches, for a company that sustains my family financially, for a team that sustains BG inside IBM, for a self that was stretched too thin.

And yet, I never left. I think and hope you sensed my love (sometimes during prayer time with the kids, or in the middle of the night, or the middle of the day), thru brief touches on your answering machine, e-mails trying to coordinate the BG Book dance.

Thanks to all who continue to show up here, and at Laura's house, and in so many different ways. I know that when I am pulled away, Laura is still enveloped in love, dialogue, hope and much more by this community.

To miracles in Mexico, continued manifestation of health, joy, renewal, love.

Melissa

Thursday, February 15, 2007 1:31:00 AM

 
Blogger Zoe Windsor said...

Just to let you know that Judy and you are in my thoughts. Looking forward to hearing about Mexico! Sending you and Judy lots of love.
Zoe xx

Friday, February 16, 2007 5:47:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura
I'm sending you postitive, healing energy from the snowy sunshine of the farm in Burlington
Jeanne

Friday, February 16, 2007 6:45:00 AM

 
Anonymous Donna Krone said...

Hi Laura,

I listened to you on the certification tapes to give myself a coaching booster shot this week. It always works so wonderfully! I thought it would be only fair to return the favor. So here is a little booster shot of strength and love from a coach in Lakeville MA who has never had the pleasure of meeting you in person but who feels your presence powerfully.

Sending healing thoughts.

Love,
Donna

Friday, February 16, 2007 4:56:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara said...

Hi beautiful bloggers and Laura,

I was wondering if Laura and Judy are back from mexico and how Laura is doing.

Laura, if you are not up for blogging can the A Team post an update on your behalf?

Warmly,
Maia

Saturday, February 17, 2007 12:47:00 PM

 
Blogger Shekinah Shephard said...

Dear Laura,

So glad you got to post to the Blog this week.. HOORAY, sounds like they are keeping you pretty busy down there in Mexico and you are defintitely doing your part as the fabulous patient you are. YEAH for you Laura, so it looks like they are kicking Ass on all fronts and it sounds like it is working for you. Glad the doctors and nurses are doing their part in your healing and you are feeling comfortable down there.

Those 12 noon intentions must be paying off as I am here thinking of you each day and enjoying the luxury of those precious few minutes just sending love and healing to you.

I was at ORSC this weekend assisting with Grace Flannery and David Darst and having a wonderful time of dreaming and making up stories about myself and life and also about how you are healing down there in Mexico and kicking butt ... and getting on the other side of the pain that has been touching you these last few weeks.

Can't wait to see you once again in person, so until that time, sending you love and light and know that you are in the right place for this healing to occur.

Glad you can stay connected down there.

May you Dream Up a Brillant future for youself and continue to create new and powerful myths about your life and what is possible for the world through your healing.

I am feeling you and hold you with gentle love at noon each day,

May you continue to heal and be free from pain and suffering.

Love,

Shekinah

Sunday, February 18, 2007 7:22:00 PM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

Laura, Hello at 12:00, not noon, but midnight. I WILL be there at noontime as well!

What a full and satisfying message from you. To know, even if only in part, what you go through. I see you at the clinic, getting acquainted with others there. I know you make an impact. It helps me so much to know about the swollen belly, the why, the processes you are going through.

Isn't this a great time to live??? Laptop communication. Connect. We are all so far and yet so near. I will miss that connection when I go on the Mongolia trip this summer as I won't be taking the laptop with me, but it will be only two weeks.

You sound wonderful. I know by your descriptions you feel miserable at times, sick, lonely although not alone. Yet, you sound wonderful and indeed are not alone.

Big squeeze to transmit power and strength, with love.

Emily ecblakely@cmspan.net

Monday, February 19, 2007 12:45:00 AM

 
Anonymous Pat Obuchowski said...

Hello Laura,

Well, Leadership Mastery training is over as is my first week at my new work. It is so fascinating to look around and see colors and consciously look and act on what wants to happen next. I learned such rich things about co-active leadership and again, I ask myself, "Why would I ever want to do this alone?"

We read a beautiful poem my Mary Oliver called "Sunrise" which I want to share here.

Sunrise

You can
die for it –
an idea,
or the world. People

have done so,
brilliantly,
letting
their small bodies be bound

to the stake,
creating
an unforgettable
fury of light. But

this morning,
climbing the familiar hills
in the familiar
fabric of dawn, I thought

of China,
and India
and Europe, and I thought
how the sun

blazes
for everyone just
so joyfully
as it rises

under the lashes
of my own eyes, and I thought
I am so many!
What is my name?

What is the name
of the deep breath I would take
over and over
for all of us? Call it

whatever you want, it is
happiness, it is another one
of the ways to enter
fire.

- Mary Oliver

What a stake you have right now. I imagine the highest stake one can have is to fight for the sake of living. Of deciding each day to say "Yes!" to life. "Yes!" to all of it. The painless and the painful. It hurts my heart to think of you in pain.

I send you healing thoughts and light from a cool and sunny Foster City day.

Much love to you,
Pat O

Monday, February 19, 2007 10:22:00 AM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara said...

Hola Senorita Laurita,

Thank you so much for posting a peek into your life in Mexico. It sounds all consuming, painful and just alot of being with things that are easy not to be with.

If there were an olympic gold medal for "staying" I would hands down award it to you.

It is rare to experience such an example of flexibility, humor, transparency and realness with illness.

I send you ((hugs)) from Santa Cruz.

Maia

Monday, February 19, 2007 11:45:00 AM

 
Anonymous Otter Maggie said...

Dear Laura,
I've been pretty pissed at you. I left R3 in a funk, and it's largely because of you. As you spoke to us Otters about heading out in to the world with our leadership, in your combo MLK/Patton speech, I gulped, and then I went home and hid.

I realized that you forever took away the "it's too hard" excuse that I've used over and over in my life. And I was mad. Mad, mad, mad.

I've recovered, and now I've got my train back on track, moving forward in my life. And, I'm done being pissed at you. I'm left with gratitude for your tenacity and your strength and your ability to articulate life at such a core level.

I wonder what I could say to you now that would kick your ass. I'd do it in a heartbeat because I know what a gift it is. Here's my question: what's your equivalent of my "it's too hard" block? Leave that behind in Mexico, okay?
Love,
Otter Maggie

Monday, February 19, 2007 2:17:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jeanne Cunningham said...

Dear Laura:

I liked the poem "Sunrise."

Breathing for each other.

I like thinking that I can breathe into and dissolve the tumors, soften the liver, hasten the detox.

Thank you, Laura.

XO Jeanne C

Monday, February 19, 2007 5:13:00 PM

 
Anonymous Sherry Hill said...

Laura,
Last July and August I spent many hours with my friend Mary who was very ill in the hospital with leukemia. Frequently she would open her eyes (or just crack one eye open) to see if I was still there. I would respond; "Yes, Mary I'm here". She just wanted to know that I was there, that she wasn't alone. That was all she really needed. Oh sure, I often fetched things for her, but the gift of being there in the stillness was the best.

Mary once told me before making a decision about treatment options; "This isn't a decision to be made quickly or lightly, but once I wrap my mind around it I can do anything".

So... imagine this very large room (the space we call the world), open your eyes (or just crack one open), look around - we're all here Laura. We're sitting with you. Each time you check to see, we'll be here, holding powerful thoughts and prayers for your healing and return to vibrant health.

Yup, still here Laura.

All my love, Sherry

(BG workshop attendee @ CA 9/06)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 7:14:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go Laura – Kick Cancer’s Butt!!!!

You continue to amaze me with your fight and courage. You go girl!! I myself had the flu this past weekend - aches, pains, swollen glands, and a sore throat. I spent a good amount of time sleeping, but when I did emerge from my bedroom to get something to eat, the absolute LAST thing I wanted to eat was vegetables. So I ate peanut butter and jelly and other naughty things instead. And all I could think was that your every day must be about 500X worse than my “flu weekend” and you STILL eat your veggies. Apparently I have some work to do around eating them at times other than just when it is “convenient…” : )

Anyway – just wanted to say hello, and remind you that you are a rock star! Thank you for being an inspiration to us, and for continuing to FIGHT!

Love,
Kim

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 11:19:00 AM

 
Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Hi Laura,

My God, what a description from you! How present you are...amazing. I'm here, got your rope...keep fighting. Loving you from afar.
Got to meet Shekinah while she was at CTI last weekend. How loved you are....but you already know that.
Love,
Debra

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 5:31:00 PM

 
Anonymous Barbara S said...

Dear Laura

Kick Cancers Butt!!! There is so much energy, love and light directed at you and at defeating all the things that are conspiring against your body. They don't know what or who they have taken on. You GOOOOOOOOOO! Love ya. B:}

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 6:35:00 PM

 
Anonymous Margaret Barkley said...

Dear Laura,
I've been thinking of you a lot lately. I was sad to be out of town for both of your invitations (Christmas and your birthday) but I'm glad to know that you were celebrated well. I talked with Judy tonight. Sending you much love and a vision for healing on all levels.
Margaret

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 7:06:00 PM

 
Anonymous Peg Wallis said...

Hola Laura! I now have a photo of you....the one Otter Tony took at the end of R4 (you look positively glowing!)...on the wall by the door to my apartment so I get to say "hello...my thoughts and energies are with you" at least twice a day. Sometimes I just stroll over and smile at you and feel my gratitude of your power and grace in the world.

I am joining all of the others who love you in "holding you" as you continue your fight.

See you in March!

With love...Otter Peg

Thursday, February 22, 2007 7:21:00 AM

 
Blogger Susan V. said...

Dear Laura, I am sending you love and light from sunny, warm Scottsdale, AZ. I flew out last Tues. to visit my dad and am enjoying a break from the cold, snowy Midwest. Although I think it is warming up this weekend in Chicago. Perhaps by the time I get home this coming Tuesday I'll begin seeing signs of spring!!

You are so brave to share with us what is going on with your body. At Epcot many years ago I went on a ride that took the riders on a tour of the human body. I remember getting a little dizzy, but it was pretty fascinating. The descriptions of what you are experiencing and how your body is responding kind of reminds me of that ride. It reveals more vividly the incredible strength of your body and its ability to heal, its passionate desire to heal. Remember our conversation about intimacy and staying. You are demonstrating a precious INTIMACY with your body by STAYING with her throughout this health journey.

On January 9 I had Lasik surgery. The night before the surgery I had dinner with a friend and we talked about my fears of having the procedure due to memories of 2 eye diseases and associated eye surgeries I had as a youngster. He told me I needed to have a conversation with my eyes, letting them know what was going to happen the next day, preparing them for the discomfort they might experience, and then reassuring them that everything was going to be ok. As he said those words, I got tears in my eyes because it never dawned on me to have a conversation with my eyes. To nurture and reassure them as I would a frightened child. Why wouldn't I talk to the different parts of my body in a loving way? If I don't who will? So I talked to my eyes before I went to bed that night and as I did I felt such a deep appreciation for all that they had been through. I thanked them for giving me the gift of seeing beauty and experiencing the world through my vision....and "seeing" the essence in others (remember I am a one soul type). Even when it was difficult to see, my eyes did whatever they could to allow me to keep seeing.

Laura, may your body know your deep appreciation for the service it keeps providing you in spite of the presence of this foreign matter called cancer. May she feel your gratitude for her strength and beauty. And may she feel God/Goddess holding and enfolding her with a healing power that can only be given by the one true source of all that is.

What does your body need to hear and know from you? What assurances does she need from you that would have her grow stronger and stronger every day? And what would deepen the intimacy with your body (and your soul and spirit) beyond what she has felt until now?

Praying for and loving you from afar.....Love, Susan

Saturday, February 24, 2007 12:57:00 AM

 
Blogger Art Shirk said...

Hi Laura --

Wowie Zowie... four enemas each day! That is definately a wonderwoman record...

I'm in Denver at the moment about to lead a course for the MS society... am looking forward to it. On another front, the house renovation is just complete and John and I are just about to move into the main house... all in all lots to be grateful for. You also are a lot to be grateful for -- I think of you at least once every day and usually more... always with healing thoughts to kick that cancer's butt.

I will be at your house in a few weeks... you may well still be in Mexico... I beleive I have an R1 right before your R4.

Hugs to you --

Love

Art

Sunday, February 25, 2007 7:19:00 PM

 
Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

Hi Laura,

Sending you love from Chicago O'Hare in this moment, to wherever you are, as the universe knows and will find you for me...

What an incredible journey this human life is, filled with love, learning, growth, sharing, connecting with other souls inhabiting these human bodies, vessels for the journey. I love what Susan wrote about asking this human vessel what it needs to continue this particular leg of the journey. Because I certainly believe that the soul's journey continues. And I hear your clear intention to stay here, or wherever you physically need to be (in Mexico?) to heal this body, and continue this human experience.

And you are so damn valuable to the world in this lovely human state - what gifts you continue to give! I just walked by one of the O'Hare bookstores, and there sits the new edition of the Co-active Coaching book - on a main display, sandwiched between "Good to Great" - how awesome is that! Co-active Coaching in the mainstream - the mother of coaching has much to be proud of and thankful for. As do I, because co-active coaching, and more importantly - co-active coaches - changed my life! Bigger Game has changed my life - too, and I look forward to seeing the Bigger Game book displayed in a similar position - and on the best seller list!

So I see you and your body dancing, aligning, coming to a common understanding, jointly healing, and dancing some more. How loving to rid your body of toxins!

So here's more love and strength for the journey. Thanks for all that you've given my on my journey as well. Truly, an amazing, enlightening ride, complete with roller coasters and hairpin turns!

Much love,
Melissa

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:43:00 AM

 
Blogger Jon Willis said...

Hi Laura,

I just read Karen's note on the co-active network and wanted to add something on your blog.

Whether or not you get to read this, it does not matter - it is more a matter of record.

We have never met, but you have had a huge impact on my life. It is a cliche, but so true - without CTI, Leadership and The Bigger Game I would not be HOW I am today. So many learnings, so much that has been good and great and humbling.

And there are so many people like me, who do not know you directly, but have felt the impact of your work and purpose in their life.

With love, peace and gratitude,

Jon Willis

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 10:52:00 AM

 
Anonymous Maia Zohara said...

Beloved Laura,

My heart and soul are holding you in a hammock of love and gratitude.

You taught me we are each a bright shining star in the universe. Shining together we make new constellations that fill the night sky with light and direction.

May you feel the universe of stars that you cocreated shine their healing light upon you.

Sending you a big tender soft cheek to cheek caress,

Maia (Otter)

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 11:25:00 AM

 
Anonymous Debra Martin said...

Dear Laura,

I am praying for you and loving you through this time.

I am so grateful for your presence in my life.

And, you too, Judy...sending you strength.

Love,
Debra

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 11:49:00 AM

 
Anonymous Mary Olk said...

Dear Laura and Judy and family,
My heart and soul are sending love, support, strength and ease to you. Thank you for so graciously including us on your journey. The sacred circle surrounds you.
With love, awe and heavy heart,
Mary Olk

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 12:18:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Laura,

As one of the Deer, I was fortunate and blessed to have met you at the Mother Tree in December. You are a true inspiration, and I'm forever grateful for being impacted by you - that day, through my entire journey with CTI, the leadership program and even this blog, which has allowed me to stay connected to your wisdom, your grace, your humour and your strength. Thank you.

You are loved - by so many. May you feel all of that fully, together with peace and ease.

With much love,
Mena

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 12:45:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jeanna Gabellini said...

Laura,

This is the first time on this blog! This place is LOVE! You rock!!!!

Just wanted to say I love and adore you. I admire you on a bizillion levels and just wanted you to know, AGAIN! I'm still using lots of things I heard from your mouth when you coached me many moons ago. Thank you for being so darn committed. You know some us have a hard head and things need to be repeated several times before they sink in. I mean, I'm not like that, but some people are! ;-)

I'm still in business with my best bud, Eva Gregory, making FUN a number #1 priority. We're as goofy as ever, maybe even more. We loved the model of friendship and biz partnership that you, Henry and Karen always modeled. It's working for us, too.

Sending barrels of hugs and love. Knowing all is as it should be in your world.

With great love,
Jeanna

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:33:00 PM

 
Anonymous Mary Driscoll said...

Dear Laura:

I'm holding you in my heart today and wishing you peace, light and love...

Love,
Mary

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:39:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Laura,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Judy on your journey.

I stand in awe at your fight, your tenacity, your creativity and loyalty.

My prayers are for your peace and for the peace of everyone around you.

I am honored to know you.

Love,

-jen

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:39:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

Sweet Laura - I just saw Isha's note. What to say at this moment when you are fighting for your life? Only that you are so loved and valued in the world. We need you still.

And we will continue the prayers, intentions, vigils for your full return to health. We are here, holding this space for your return.

Love, Maria

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:06:00 PM

 
Blogger Melissa O'Mara said...

To Laura, Judy, and families,

Holding you all in love, and prayer. The word of Laura's journey home has begun it's ripple outward, and know that the love will continue to build and flow to you all as you dance together now.

I pray for ease, comfort, love, peace, connection, trust, faith, and then more love...

Melissa

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:07:00 PM

 
Blogger Leslie Clark said...

Hello Laura,

I'm thinking of you today and I'm beaming you love ... buckets of love.

Just know that I'm with you!
XOXOXOXOXO,
Leslie C.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:13:00 PM

 
Anonymous Otter Maggie said...

Dear Laura,
You visited me in my dreams on Monday eve. I dreamed you were at R4 with us Otters, and you took us for a hike along the shore. In my dream, you were strong in body and spirit. Lots of love,
Otter Maggie

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:32:00 PM

 
Blogger caseyandjenn said...

Laura,
Isha and Judy had a great idea, and loving that we could participate, Casey and I opened up the view so when you arrive home the sunlight and meadow view will pour into your bedroom. It was early morning, the fog had just lifted and the house was warm and cozy. We took a moment to give you our own private welcome home and bless the space for your arrival. I am sending you, and those with you, wishes of peace and comfort. I hope your return home from Mexico brings some relief, ease and peace. My heart is with you.
Jen

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:46:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May you rest in peace, sweet Laura. Although you are no longer physically with us, you will forever be present in our lives.

With love,
Chuck Lioi

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 2:57:00 PM

 
Blogger C.J. Hayden said...

Dear Laura,

The world will miss you. You still had so much more to contribute to us, and we mourn your leaving us so soon.

I would tell you to rest in peace, but the word "rest" was never in your vocabulary. I can see you now, gathering the angels in a circle and asking them what their bigger game is.

I'll be watching for a bolt of lightning from an unexpected quarter very soon, letting us know that although you are done with moving earth, you are now moving heaven.

With love and sorrow,
C.J.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 3:39:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Judy,

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that Sharna and I are sending all our love and strength to you during this time. Your Laura was an amazing woman, and I feel so incredibly lucky to have had the chance to know her. Stay strong during this time and know that you are surrounded with love.

Love to you,
Kim


Dear Vegetable Coach Laura,

Thank you so very much for all that you brought to us - here on this Blog, and elsewhere in the world at large. You will be dearly missed, and at the same time, I know that you will still be with us in so many ways - in the work that you have created, and through the people who you have touched, and in me, every time I eat my vegetables or take my fish oil. I am wishing you peace and light in your next adventure - wherever it may be.

Love to you always,

Kim

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 4:51:00 PM

 
Anonymous A Limestone said...

Dearest Laura,

You are beyond inspiring!!! What a light you have been in this world. Hearing about your incredible leadership of the Otters from our Leaders for Peace delegates from Israel was awe inspiring. Your impact on them was that they couldn't hold back or talk any bull shit. The impact on me of hearing about how you showed up has made me vow to quit bullshitting and SHOW UP!! I am so happy that the Arabic and Jewish Israelis were fortunate to have your inspiring leadership! I know it will have a huge impact on the Middle East. Your light has now merged with the great light and I send you waves of heartfelt gratitude.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 6:28:00 PM

 
Blogger Susan V. said...

Dear Judy and all who are gathering to pay their respects to Laura this evening...my heart is heavy with sadness for Laura's passing - this incredibly strong, passionate, unwielding soul who not only touched but also changed so many lives around the world. I am sending my love to all of you as you support each other during this time of grief. And please pass on my love to Laura.

Judy, I believe your commitment, strength, and fierce love for Laura are what kept her going for so much longer than anyone could have imagined. You truly are her angel. I thank God for you!

Much love to you, Susan

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:18:00 PM

 
Anonymous Penni said...

Thank you for what you brought which lives on in ways which you will never have known.

Thursday, March 01, 2007 2:34:00 AM

 
Blogger Jim Botkin said...

Laura Whitworth is a giant among the world of coaches.

On behalf of my coaching colleagues at InnerCALL, and from my own personal view, I want to express sympathies and sadness at the passing of Laura. I hope to see you at your present Home.

Love,

Jim

Thursday, March 01, 2007 5:19:00 AM

 
Blogger Judy Underwood said...

Laura - You were a beautiful bright light to all of us who came through CTI. Thank you for leaving the world a better place.

Judy - I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself.

With love, admiration and respect,
Judy Underwood
CTI Snakes certification pod
Fort Collins, CO

Thursday, March 01, 2007 5:19:00 AM

 
Blogger K'duite said...

I came to the blog late last night and Isha's message hit like a jolt to my gut. We are never really ready for the news and I was stunned. I could see the message from Isha but couldn't open the other messages and I suspect that was because there were so many, many people on the blogsite, receiving the same shock, trying to post a message. It was just jammed.

So, we say....No...no....no, this can't be so. Tears flow, because we are feeling such a loss, such a void.

I am so proud of Laura, what a warrior. What a beautiful person, what a friend. I am so proud of her friends whose hearts now burn with Laura's contagious passion, for life, for impact.

No knowing this was happening, yesterday I left home with inches of snow on the ground to make a supply run to town. As I was driving here and there, Laura was on my mind. I prayed for her then, not knowing.......but this is the way of God.....because He does know the moment of greatest need.

So Dear Ones, Leslie, Judy, Isha, Shekinah and all of Laura's team, my deepest love to you all. I embrace you and hold you in these days.

Emily Blakely
ecblakely@cmspan.net

Thursday, March 01, 2007 5:58:00 AM

 
Anonymous Barbara S said...

Good Bye Laura! You will be SO missed, yet your presence will continue to be felt. You touched and inspired so many people that your impact on the world has changed it forever.

To Judy and all the wonderful people who supported and loved Laura through her battle, my deepest condolences and thanks.

Love Barbara S
Earthquake Tribe

Thursday, March 01, 2007 6:30:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe she is gone. I can't believe her light has gone out of this world. I feel like I have lost the beacon from the light house that kept showing me my way. Laura taught me so much - her fierceness gave me permission to be fierce. Her holding us to be strong and capable and brave helped me believe we are strong, capable and brave. I always hear her voice in my mind - urging me forward to do the very thing I am afraid to do.

And now how will I go on from here?

Lynne
Great Mystery
lynne@gillilandjud.com

Thursday, March 01, 2007 6:42:00 AM

 
Anonymous Henry Kimsey-House said...

My Partner Laura died. She’s taking her journey on to other places now, places I can’t go, won’t go or shouldn’t go. She’s often doing that it seems, leaping out and ahead and then looking back and saying “come on guys catch up”. I am going to miss her pulling on my sleeve and on my arm and locking horns with her as she tries to pull me forward in some new or other direction. I anticipate a time in the future where I will feel that familiar tug again and know it is Laura wanting me to get moving in some direction or another. There is no one like her; she is one of a kind.

My partner Laura died. An interesting word partner, used in so many ways these days. Laura was my partner in creativity. Man oh man we created stuff. We laughed, loved, fought, shouted, cried, moaned, were hopeless and helpless, were victorious, and were warriors and chiefs together. Most of all we talked. We talked about all sorts of things Laura was thinking about or reading about and that the three of us were doing or reading about and that talk turned into things that helped people learn and grow and become better human beings. The talk we had also had us grow and learn and become better human beings. So maybe she was my talking partner.

I already miss talking and creating with her. I miss her coming up with some crazy idea and me saying No No NO to it and her insisting she had her hands around something and then Karen or me finding a piece of it that we could play with and then building off of that and then shaping and turning and making something grow from that first crazy seed. After that would follow another not so crazy seed and then a totally off the wall seed, and I had the feeling they were just lined up in her ready to plunk down in the middle of our talks at any time. It was truly the gift she gave of putting something out there to create from.

Oh and Laura could mix it up too. She had this uncanny ability to make it and keep it real. She had a very low tolerance for any kind of sweetness that was pasted on top of some unexplored truth. So if you were a client, a group or an entire conference of people and you were sitting sweetly on top of an unexpressed truth you were in trouble because my partner Laura would not back away or fit in nicely to that scenario she would rise up and turn her flashlight on and make damn sure that truth was exposed. You could count on it.

My partner Laura though was a little girly girl and had this smile and puppy dog look in her eyes that just invited play and fun. It had this entirely mischievousness quality to it and you felt like you were going to have some really good fun with a little bit of “are you sure this will be alright?” quality to it. It was always not only all right but a great time was had by all.

So I miss my partner Laura and I am grateful beyond words for all the gifts she brought to me in this life.

I love you Laura

Thursday, March 01, 2007 9:07:00 AM

 
Blogger Zoe Windsor said...

Karen's email arrived in my inbox this morning. I sit her with tears dotted on my face, not sure what to write and yet wanting to write something.

Judy - love to you. I am so sorry.

Laura - You loved being alive so much and you so fought for it!!! You have just been so brave. I just can't believe it when I think about it. The pain just must have been horrific at times. It is inspiring beyond words and I will carry it with me.

Thank you for being such a key part of bringing coaching and co-active coaching to the world. Really thank you. and thank you for being so fierce, committed and loving. You touched my life so powerfully.

Love
Zoe

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:21:00 AM

 
Anonymous Scott said...

OUCH!!!!!!!!!


The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Rumi (Tr Coleman Barks)

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:32:00 AM

 
Anonymous Otter Maggie said...

Dear Judy,
I send you prayers as you grieve.
Love,
Maggie
Otter Tribe

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:37:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All, There is little to say at this time except words of comfort, hope and love. I wept and laughed at Henry's description of Laura as one who could look at you with puppy-dog-innocent eyes combined with that smile that suggested mischief. I have lived a fuller life because I have been looked on by those eyes, engaged by that smile and challenged by the razor-sharpness that is and always will be Laura. Being a part of this community is a gift for me. I share the sadness as well as the great love. Peace to us all, Sara Smith

Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:53:00 AM

 
Anonymous ML Rice said...

Dear Family of Laura,

I send my deepest sympathy. Laura was one of my leadership leaders in the spring of 1999. I can easily imagine her voice, her eyes, her Soultype 3 intense focus and her ability to "cut through the crap." She scared me sometimes and inspired me more! I think of her often.

We Warbonnets gave her a Brian Andreas "story people" picture when we completed Retreat 4. The quote on the picture was "Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life." I guess the angel part has now taken on another dimension for Laura. Lots loved her. To those of you who shared her life daily, peace.
ML

Thursday, March 01, 2007 11:43:00 AM

 
Blogger Art Shirk said...

Dear Community,

I am at a loss for words. I haven't yet let it sink in or hit me that Laura finally let go and left us.

It feels so important to me, though, to put my voice here in this blog -- to all of you that have been engaged here for the past time.

Laura has been such an important person in my life, and she is always going to be a part of me... pushing me, cajoling me, and in her very unique way loving me.

I will have more to say in days to come.

In heartfelt connection with this community that has surrounded Laura, and with love,

Art

Thursday, March 01, 2007 12:59:00 PM

 
Anonymous Michael Bungay Stanier said...

I'd like to celebrate Laura, a woman I never met in person but whose vision has impacted my life in a number of ways - CTI and The Bigger Game just being two of the more obvious ones

Michael Bungay Stanier

Thursday, March 01, 2007 3:48:00 PM

 
Anonymous Maria Garza-Lennon said...

So many wonderful things to be said about Laura, and what stays with me is that she lived and died on her terms. Not my terms...heck, I don't think I could sustain a fraction of what she sustained at the end...HER terms. And what's beautiful is that I know she died with a heart full of Hope...Hope that she would recover, Hope that she would join yet another retreat in March, Hope that she would make it home to the Meadow, Hope that she would grow stronger and healthier, Hope that her work was not done thus her life couldn't be done either... In this sometimes Hopeless world, she died with a heart full of Hope. And that is something.

Judy - Thank you for everything you did for her, with her, and because of your love for her. May peace and love surround you during these difficult days.

Thursday, March 01, 2007 3:50:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peace to you and gratitude for what you did in this lifetime. We are all beneficiaries of your amazing legacy. Alison Hendren

Thursday, March 01, 2007 8:32:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Judy and Laura

My heart is with you.

As I sat crying after hearing the news, my daughter Connie wanted to make me feel better and gave me a hug and asked “feel better Mummy?” I said kiss my tears Connie and she passionately kissed my ears. And it somehow summed up the joy and pain in that moment – the real aliveness that Laura has brought to me – the exquisiteness of every moment and the great appreciation of life.

I said to my husband that the damn hard thing is that now she will always see me and there is no hiding and he said she would always have known.

Laura – thank you and thank you.

Love Jackie
Otter

Friday, March 02, 2007 2:10:00 AM

 
Anonymous Randy said...

Word of Laura's expansion from this world came to me in my hotel room here in Florida.

This past day I have felt Laura with me everywhere, as I have of you, Judy.

Thinking of you always. Love, Randy

Friday, March 02, 2007 2:32:00 AM

 
Blogger Helen House said...

Dear Laura,Judy and All,

I'm writing this from the lobby of a crappy hotel where I'm stranded due to the wild storms hitting home. Laura, is that you creating tornadoes and snowstorms and blizzards? It seems so right that the gale force with which you lived would create quite a stir as you leave.

I landed here in Detroit after a two week trip to Seoul, South Korea. Laura and Judy - Korea is hungry for this work. They're hungry to live true to their hearts - honoring where they've come from and creating fully where they're going. You would have been proud. We won over the Harvard Phds, the corporate coaches, and all the rest.

I was so sad to check my email for the first time in two weeks to find my mailbox overflowing with "Laura" in the subject heading. All night, in my restless confusion of what day it is, I alternated between tears, laughter, and disbelief. I cried for our loss... laughed as memories tickled me... and swirled in the strangeness of it all.

Judy - My heart is especially with you right now. Please know a massive hug awaits you. We never would have had Laura as long as we did without your patience, love, heart, perseverance, passion, tolerance and everything else. Most of all, you have modeled STAYING for me. Thank you for that.

There's more to say, but for now...I'll sign off...

With a full and sad heart... and a whole lot of love,

Helen

Friday, March 02, 2007 6:36:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a woman, what a teacher, what a learner, what a leader. Her light shines on...

with love, gratitude for having known and worked with Laura, and a very damp keyboard

Sarah
(Great Mystery)

Friday, March 02, 2007 9:36:00 AM

 

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